Today was a normal day. I walked downstairs to the sweet smell of syrup and butter, and finally
the view of the golden mountain of waffles stacked on a white porcelain plate surrounded by a
red, flowery ring. Conversations with my mother occurred as usual,”Good morning honey!
How’d you sleep?” “It was fine, but more sleep would obviously be preferred.” We both laughed
as I gave her a hug and headed out the door to attend school.
School began promptly at 8:05. Tests for calculus and biology were taken; other classes just seemed to fly by. I was excited to head home on a such a windy, gloomy day, especially with the constant alarm in my stomach begging me to eat.
It wasn’t unusual for my mother to not be home when I came home from school, she was normally home around 8 o’clock. I scavenged the kitchen for food and finally decided to head the living room to watch TV for a bit. The house was dead silent, the only true explicable noise was the scuffle of my feet across the wooden floors. Faint creeks upstairs make their way across the top floor. “Maybe it’s the wind causing the creeks, I mean this is an old house”, I think to myself. Just before I turn on the TV, I notice what looks like a grey figure crawling up beside the left of the mauve loveseat I rest on, in the black reflection of the TV screen. My heart began to beat heavily and rapidly.The creeks grow louder and suddenly cease. Within the blink of an eye, the figure is gone.
“I’m just freaking myself out, I definitely need to stop watching all these horror movies”, I thought to myself. I searched for cartoons to calm myself down and to hopefully help get whatever I just saw off of my mind. Cartoons helped lighten the atmosphere but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was behind me, lurking, watching every move I made. With this thought in mind, I scurried up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut behind me. I stood by the door to listen for footsteps of some kind but heard nothing. I climbed into bed and fully surrounded myself with the thick black comforter detailed with red cherry blossoms.
I turn on the TV in my bedroom to distance my mind from fear, but at a low volume to remain aware of what was to come. As i began to doze off, the creeks began faintly downstairs and became footsteps ascending the staircase.
I hear the jingling of keys at the front door and the loud thud of the door unlock. My mother is finally home! I jump out of bed and rush to my bedroom door to gain comfort in my mother’s presence. In this act, the door begins to slowly open, a dull and grey shadow-like claw grapples around the door’s edge. One gleaming, bright red eye and a wide grin that can never be forgotten is the only view in sight. “Honey, I’m home!”, in a grim, deep voice.
School began promptly at 8:05. Tests for calculus and biology were taken; other classes just seemed to fly by. I was excited to head home on a such a windy, gloomy day, especially with the constant alarm in my stomach begging me to eat.
It wasn’t unusual for my mother to not be home when I came home from school, she was normally home around 8 o’clock. I scavenged the kitchen for food and finally decided to head the living room to watch TV for a bit. The house was dead silent, the only true explicable noise was the scuffle of my feet across the wooden floors. Faint creeks upstairs make their way across the top floor. “Maybe it’s the wind causing the creeks, I mean this is an old house”, I think to myself. Just before I turn on the TV, I notice what looks like a grey figure crawling up beside the left of the mauve loveseat I rest on, in the black reflection of the TV screen. My heart began to beat heavily and rapidly.The creeks grow louder and suddenly cease. Within the blink of an eye, the figure is gone.
“I’m just freaking myself out, I definitely need to stop watching all these horror movies”, I thought to myself. I searched for cartoons to calm myself down and to hopefully help get whatever I just saw off of my mind. Cartoons helped lighten the atmosphere but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was behind me, lurking, watching every move I made. With this thought in mind, I scurried up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut behind me. I stood by the door to listen for footsteps of some kind but heard nothing. I climbed into bed and fully surrounded myself with the thick black comforter detailed with red cherry blossoms.
I turn on the TV in my bedroom to distance my mind from fear, but at a low volume to remain aware of what was to come. As i began to doze off, the creeks began faintly downstairs and became footsteps ascending the staircase.
I hear the jingling of keys at the front door and the loud thud of the door unlock. My mother is finally home! I jump out of bed and rush to my bedroom door to gain comfort in my mother’s presence. In this act, the door begins to slowly open, a dull and grey shadow-like claw grapples around the door’s edge. One gleaming, bright red eye and a wide grin that can never be forgotten is the only view in sight. “Honey, I’m home!”, in a grim, deep voice.
Today was not a normal day.
Your story had messed me up at the end because I was expecting you to end the night with your mom and then a monster came through that door. I might have night mares so I'm going to be sleeping with 10,000 stuff animals so thank you, but I do like the twist to the story.
ReplyDeleteI like the detail of your story you made the “grey figure” truly come to life. This is the perfect story for halloween. As the story progressed I got scared along with the character. They way you described the figure at the end of the story was truly chilling. I could almost imagine the grey figure with the red eyes and claw like hands grinning at me trying to pry my door open. The title of the story alludes to a normal day, but as you read on you begin to realize it is no normal day. I also like how you made the grey figure have a voice and act as if it was her mother because you begin to get the sense that it was all a dream that the character made up
ReplyDeletein there head until the door is opened and the it’s the figure staring back at her. Good use of imagery it really ties the story together. -Alana Robinson, Period 4
Ok, I was expecting something a bit more "chill" but I guess this works too. Very ironic the title. I love the thrill and the self-reassurance that the speaker was giving themself. Very nice thriller.
ReplyDelete-Edmund Yim
This work of fiction was gripping, and the use of imagery helps the reader visualize the creaky house and nervousness the character feels. The story ends in suspense, leaving the reader to wonder what will happen to the main character.
ReplyDelete- Kenny Abraham
WOW! Talk about a plot twist. Here I am expecting a happy ending and then bam! You're use of irony made me relive moments like that I also had as a kid. But great story overall. - Ayo Latinwo
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in this story really puts the whole story together! Without the amazing food and smell imagery and descriptions of fear and darkness, this story would not be nearly as interesting and enticing. I loved this story and it really kept me on my toes.
ReplyDeleteI was not ready for that haha. But it makes me want to read a second part!
ReplyDeleteI love how you inputted so much visual and auditory imagery to create suspense. I especially loved how you made the title convey normality yet the ending in your story was so unexpected.
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery brought this story to life, the ending really reminded me of times when I'd come up with scenarios in my head like that and creeped me out a bit, overall I loved it.
ReplyDeleteWow. I felt as though I was right with you that entire time, I was even starting to get the shivers from reading. The ending really twists the prediction I had as to how the piece was going to end and it was captivating. Good work.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story that kept me sitting on the edge of my seat until the last word. You chose a great organization, with witch allowed you to create a much stronger effect on me. I wasn't expecting the ending at all! Great job.
ReplyDeleteI love how your story didnt get straight to the point and you mixed it up it was great because it went with the month of october
ReplyDeleteHoly crap I loved the twist ending at the end of your story and the amount of imagery you added to it. This was a perfect story to fit the mood for October!!!
ReplyDelete