Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Michael--Press ENTER to try again
So, this is it? The world around me moved as if in slow motion. A small face of disbelief
with wide open eyes and mouth glanced at me. My girlfriend who I just pushed was looking at
me, mouthing words at me as the world was muted. I looked to my right and looked at the bright
lights coming my way as everything felt so surreal. It wasn't the kind of light at the end of the
tunnel when someone passes. It was the kind of light from a 16 wheel semi truck speeding on the
road heading straight for you. Before I knew it the world around me looked black; there was no
light only silence. Out of nowhere the world that was once black, radiated something white in the
distance. The letters approached and stopped in front of me and read "GAME OVER" in big
white letters. I was speechless, “what in the world is this?” I thought to myself. Suddenly smaller
white letters started to appear in the form of a list. I couldn't read what it said until the list slowly
moved closer. It read CELL# 40754029000 followed by moving text that read "LIES: 24,836.” I
had no idea what this random text meant until the whole list starting moving down slowly with
random labels. It was only in the middle of the block of text I realized these were things I had
done in my 17 years of living. The list showed how many words I spoke, how many steps I have
taken, how many friends I have made and lost. I stared at the moving block of text for what felt
like hours until it came near the end. What was this and why was it happening, was life some
game where everyone is just a number? The final statistic that was labeled on the list was
“LIVES SAVED: 1.” I then remembered what got me into this whole mess and felt like crying.
Was I stuck in this dark void forever, only to be accompanied by bright text that floated in air?
Out of the blackness more text along with a medium sized black and white button appeared in
front of my face. The text read “Press ENTER to try again” and on the button was the word
“ENTER” in the same white lettering from before. Did this mean I would be born again in the
same world with the same life? Would I be born into a different life? Would I be able to retain
my memories from before? A multitude of questions rushed through my head and I was
completely lost on what to do. After contemplating the many possible outcomes, I realized the
only thing I could do was press the button. I took a moment to gather my thoughts and took a
deep breath and slowly pressed the button then waited. Nothing happened at first but out of
nowhere a quick tunnel of light approached me and the black world around me started to fade
away.
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I really like this piece of fiction's concept. SO many of us wish we had a kind of reset button and this "enter" encompasses this idea in a well thought out matter. Great job and wouldn't mind reading a sequel. - Alyssa Tandoc, Period 4
ReplyDeleteThis was so cool. I loved the whole modern video game take on rebirth. It was very interesting and suspenseful and kept me on the edge of my seat until the end.
ReplyDeleteThis was very cool. As I was reading this I automatically thought about the movie TRON for some reason, I love how you added the video game aspect of how you would be able to continue on or start over from the beginning of the game. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic! This fictional piece is so though provoking and really makes you ponder what really happens after our final breath. Do we see how our life as unfolded? Do we sit in a state of consciousness without being alive? Do we get to press 'ENTER' and start over? I love this piece!
ReplyDeleteThis was a pretty cool blog, it made me think of everything I did in my passed 17 years like the lies and steps I take. - Naeomi R.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece and I also like the concept of this piece. This was so cool, I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDelete-Sirikanya Boonyanant
Your piece had me intrigued from the beginning till the end and now I can't help wonder what happened to the character after pressing the button? Your choice of detail and imagery made it possible to create the scenario.
ReplyDelete- Diana Godinez
I really liked this piece, as I've always pondered at the thought of whether you would be reincarnated into a previous life, and if you did, would you retain your memories from your previous life. I enjoyed the way that this story took the life system within video games, and used it to help create this story.
ReplyDelete~Ryan Kang
This was such an awesome story to read! I found myself reflecting on my own life. Comparing life to a game seems quite reasonable, you make a mistake that can lead you to a bad place, but you are also given the opportunity to start over or not repeat the same mistake. Entertaining piece!
ReplyDeleteThis was very interesting and real. It makes me think about my life in numbers and if I would be happy with the numbers that I saw. You gave just enough but too much information so that readers are able to continue the story on their own. I really like it
ReplyDeleteInteresting and entertaining concept! The piece is definitely thought provoking. It is an enjoyable read! Wonderful job!
ReplyDelete-Jerelle Medina per. 3
Reincarnation with a sassy technical twist? Oh yeah, it rocks. When I first saw the word "CELL" I figured the main character was being punished, and the addition of his total "LIES" expressed this further. But upon the realization that the main character has saved a life, he is then offered a chance to "try again." Do our good deeds outweigh our sins? Are we the arbiters of our own destiny and redemption, or is there a computer program apathetically stat tracking us? Daring questions to ask, Michael. Bravo.
ReplyDelete-Christopher Trevino
I liked how you made life as if it was a game it was very intriguing. Although, I wish you would of told what happened after this person "tried again".-Joshua Kidwell
ReplyDeleteI was drawn in by the creativity of your story and I liked how you left it open-ended so that the reader is still wondering about it after it's over.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this I loved your concept of being apart of a video game but how it would be in real life good use of imagery overall you did a real nice job
ReplyDeleteThe mystery of the universe is deeper than words could express but even the thought of it tickling your mind is stimulating. Which you allowed to occur to the readers
ReplyDeleteGreat piece! A chance of redemption in another form is most definitely an arduous thought.
ReplyDelete~Gregory Gomez
Really great! I like how your piece is so relatable and connects to the audience so much and your use of imagery was really good I felt like I was there with you. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat world building! I would love to see a statistic sheet of everything I've done in my life after I have died. It would be so interesting knowing all the things I had done. Perhaps for the next life we can achieve a higher high score? =)
ReplyDeleteWow this was a very interesting read. You got me hooked from the very beginning. Great job!
ReplyDelete-Jeremiah Eugenio
This remind's me of "Wreck-it Ralph"! It brings life and emotion to characters that are normally viewed as sort of emotionless! Your imagery was spot on in describing the video game's environment, and I love the element of mystery with the "ENTER" button that the character ponders.
ReplyDelete-Brandon Lim
Amazing! I enjoyed how this piece allowed the readers to interact with the motions this character is going through, for me it was when the character say everything they had been through in their life in exact numbers. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteThis was a unique piece in that it was truly engaging to read. The animation of the characters through your word choices really paid off! Great job!
ReplyDelete-Maddie Alegria