Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Brianna--No Retribution
They never expected that their relationship would end this way. Not one foresaw their friendship with this outcome. They all feverishly dreamed it was eternal, that nothing, not even Death, would stop them from continuing on as friends, as nakama.
It was not Death that ended the kinship in the end. Rather, it was one of their own that sliced the thin string that entwined their souls. With eyes emptied of passion, and hands void of tremors, the nakama who forced the hand of Death, ended her companions’ lives, before the world ripped itself apart.
________________________________________
She murdered Nova during the spring, as the world itself bloomed into life. Trees surged out of their slumber, greedily absorbing the light given by the sun. Earth painted itself in hues of greens, urging on the growth of Life, awakening the beasts.
The rebirth of Mother Nature was a sight to behold, after being suffocated by blankets of snow. This display overwhelmed her dulled senses, after months of pure white. Her eyes filled with unspoken tears, but her resolve rang true, despite the guilt of bloodying this rebirth with her own hands.
Tightening her fingers around the chilled steel resting within her hand, she set off swiftly into the forest, a mere few minutes behind the man. Her feet made not a sound, as wet leaves cushioned her heavy footfall. She listened, and followed the echoes of gunshots, the screeches of fowl flying away in terror.
Stopping, she sunk gently against an old oak, tilting her head slowly out from behind it. Her gaze rested upon what seemed to be a mere bush, but what hid inside held her attention. She watched as the shrubbery shifted, and a saddened smile graced her lips as another gunshot rang out, though not one bird fell from the sky.
Abruptly, the forest became hushed; not one creature made a sound. The world seemed to stop breathing, as she stepped out from behind the grandfather oak. She raised her arm, bending her arm to prevent recoil, as the piece of unfeeling steel aimed straight towards the stilled bush. She watched as it turned ever so slightly, as eyes peered out of the hideously colored plastic.
The world breathed once again, as a single shot rang throughout the wilderness.
________________________________________
She assassinated Sugar as the world transformed into the sun. The leaves drifted soundlessly to the city streets, until hurried footsteps crushed them into specks. The air was choked by car horns, angry shouts; the music of buildings that scraped the sky.
Weaving through the crowds, she followed his silky locks, black against the bleak heavens. The duo seamlessly moved throughout the city, until the man entered one of the monstrous buildings. She trailed the man until he entered an elevator, to which she steered towards the stairs, taking two at a time. Her breath came out in soft gasps as she raced up to the skyline.
She stood atop the world, overlooking the bustling city, filled with colors of grey and orange. Fall was upon them, the vibrant colors shining despite the future before them. The colors glowed, even as she lifted the same piece of steel, and aimed it towards the man who gazed at the life before him.
She sobbed softly, and watched as the man turned, facing her with widened eyes. She heard him whisper her name; whimpered as he lifted his hand out to her. She lost her hearing then, ignoring his rapidly moving lips, ignoring the words he begged to tell her.
She did not hear the click of the steel, nor did she hear the last breath that he took.
________________________________________
She eliminated Immortal when snow began to fall again, smothering the world in a cloak of empty white. The forests grew still, drifting into a slumber like death. The cities filled with coughs and sneezes, with moans and grumbling. The once warm air was replaced with a frigid ghost, turning noses and ears alike, a fleshy pink.
The ocean though, remained a luminous blue, even as the water drifted down to colder temperatures. Standing in the sand, she gazed tenderly at the glistening waves, for a moment forgetting her goal. She breathed in tempo with the tide, her body swaying back and forth calmly.
She smelt the sharpness of the salt in the air, felt it stick to her caramel colored skin. She listened to the crashing of the water, the popping of the froth as the waves receded once again. She would have been content with simply standing there, until she saw him.
The man walked along the shoreline, stopping occasionally to pick up a lone shell. He followed the sand, until she entered his vision. He halted, and stared in surprise as he recognized her. And all at once, he began to run towards her.
He launched himself at her, hauling her into a clenching hug. His cries filled her ears, filled her heart with a cyclone of pain and regret. She did not lift her arms to wrap around him, did not return the passion he was radiating. Instead, her hand gripped the familiar slab of steel, and lifted it to his head as he pulled it back to look at her.
She did not see hatred or misery in his eyes. All she saw were chocolate globes, reflecting her own; eyes that trusted her completely. The man closed these two mirrors, and accepted his death, as she quietly gave it, the shot freeing him painlessly.
________________________________________
Mitis stood mute as the waves crashed against her feet. She uttered not a sound as she gazed at the cloudless sky. She released not one word, as her eyes followed the nuclear missiles racing across the heavens, crashing behind her.
The war had begun, but in the end, Mitis was satisfied. She had saved her friends from this pain, and allowed her punishment to be enacted. She had no more bullets, she would not free herself. This was the retribution she accepted.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I loved this. From the very first sentence you had me hooked! I always love when there is a deeper meaning to the title then what first meets the eye, and that is exactly what you gave your title at the end. That;s one thing among many things that stood out. Overall you did an amazing job!
ReplyDelete-Marissa Putrick
I can truly say that this is my most favorite blog submission so far. The method in which you intertwined each excerpt with the prevailing scene provided an unorthodox take on your storytelling. "Steel" also gave much more than the imagery of a gun, but more of an instrument of liberation for all of her loved ones. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteMy most favorite blog submission so far. Such an elegance and underlying beauty in the way you intertwined each scene with the one prevailing. "Steel" also acted more than just an image of a gun, but rather a means of liberation for the coming future. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteVery good job! I loved the concept of the story and how the title tied in with the ending, very creative and excellent imagery and word choice! :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the way you told the story and included a relatively high amount of imagery.
ReplyDelete~Ryan Kang
Beautifully written. I appreciate how your intro was so hooking, with curiosity of what ended this friendship and why. The imagery and symbolism was so perfect. I enjoyed reading this piece.
ReplyDeleteI like your concept of the story, I don't want to be wrong, but I believe it reflects off of Japanese anime. I really like that its different and, the whole idea is unique. The detail is really great and and I can feel as if I am seeing the story play out. Good Job!
ReplyDelete-Oyinda Akinnusi
You've crafted a pulse-pounding non-stop thrill ride, and I am thoroughly shaken. The story is cyclically rising and crashing in terms of atmosphere due to the awesome juxtaposition of intense violence with serene natural backdrops and plenty of candy imagery, which I totally loved. And then the twist at the end, where the main character has actually been killing her friends in a flawed attempt to protect them from a more horrific death? Astounding.
ReplyDelete-Christopher Trevino
Amazing! I had difficulty with keeping up with the story, but that's probably my fault as a not up-to-par reader with your writing. You have a very elegant writing style, and your use of imagery is impeccable! Awesome, awesome job!
ReplyDeleteThe way each excerpt blended together was beautiful. Your use of imagery helped to understand the story. And the way the title and the ending commingled was very creative. Excellent job!
ReplyDelete-Karyna Gandara
Nice incorporation of the title with elements from the story. Very creative piece with vivid imagery. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteLoved this piece! Provided a lot of great imagery and detail that really helped to envision the piece. Great job and keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteThis was my favorite submission! I enjoyed the fact that you used an insane amount of imagery and the beginning of the story "hooked" each reader to make them WANT to keep reading till the end. Great job!
ReplyDeleteFrom the first sentence I read I was hooked great job. It made reading this not an assignment but a joy
ReplyDeleteBobby
very creative writing style and good use of imagery. completely understood each and every aspect of the story although it was difficult at times. well done.
ReplyDeletevery well written. use of imagery was beyond amazing
ReplyDeleteLike reading the script to a beautiful movie, wish we could see something like your story brought to life, with such imagery and intrigue.
ReplyDeleteso much amazing imagery throughout the piece and very well written.
ReplyDelete