Jose--Deaf and Silent

I must not talk; I must not speak! A wall of thunder and chaos has followed me here. I must not help; I must not hear! Chains of barbed wire will hook the circumference of my neck. My lips are sewed; I cannot speak; I lost that ability a long time ago. Everyone’s mouths were open and loud; the noise filled the whole room, inch by inch without missing a single spot. The room stood high in the heavens starring straight into the eyes of the sun, without a blink. I lied under it using my sunglasses for protection; possibility for cancer was never an option. And so I lied and lied for no apparent reason. It remained this way for a long while, until I eventually saw no reason to persist standing beside the great room. All of its occupants wore no lenses, not even contacts, and stood starring into the burning breath of the star. I would climb the stairs up the room however, the cost of the entrance was to open my mouth. Yet it was as if my lips were sealed, pore by pore, with a solid attachment that would never let go. Therefore, I made the decision myself to seal my lips permanently, for if I did so I would not have to ever climb the stairs of utter despair. I am right and it is final; my ideas seclude me with no other desire. I listened but I heard no difference; noises and noises cruised by my neck, yet I could not distinguish each one that whispered. Murmurs, murmurs, I heard repeatedly. My head shifted and twirled in a wall with no exit. I listened in the great room, I heard voices with obsolete definitions and claims; I detested them so much! But I remembered I could not speak, so I began to hear. ‘I am right, and they are wrong.’ Is this really so true? I had heard these people speak of such irrelevances, yet I also heard admired quotes, ‘This is the answer, ignore the rest, you know your doors are closed, so let me open them sealed rose.’ I listened and realized I was not all correct, but my ears possessed me and governed my sense of reason. I cannot enlighten or be enlightened, my ears do not hear at all except the sound of their voices. The little left on my mind was aware of the corruption, I was not alright. And so, my lips are closed and my ears are unopened. Will I stay this way forever, or will it only be a decade? I know it will be long, it is sure. Yet I will not surrender to the eyes of the ignorant. I will climb the stairs with an open mouth. I will sit at my desk in a neat suit, and I will stare into the light of the sun without the use of protection. My ears will lose their power; my mind will have opened the exits as a result of the soviet withdrawal. They once governed me, but not anymore. Now I stand on the heat of the glimmering sun, in the room, and my mouth screaming louder than the sirens around us.