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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Kathlyn--The Murder

It was a dark and stormy night and Emmanuel was looking at his beautiful reflection in the mirror. Feeling satisfied with his appearance he stepped out of his house to scour the neighborhood. He was strolling through the streets when he saw a mysterious black van slowly driving by him. He chose to ignore it and continued walking happily. But then the van stopped abruptly in front of him. Three individuals jumped out and masked him before he could see who they were. He fought and struggled but his efforts were no match against their strength. As they lifted him into the trunk of the car he exclaimed "You're messing up my hair!!" They closed the trunk shut, keeping him from escaping and drove away. After what seemed like forever the van finally reached its destination and Emmanuel came to the realization that he was being kidnapped. Still masked they lifted him out of the trunk and went inside an old abandoned house. After tying him down to a chair they removed the blindfold from Emmanuel's face and he looked around and saw his three kidnappers. They were wearing all black and had masks on so he could not figure out who they were. Emmanuel was very puzzled and scared, what could they possibly want from him? Suddenly one of the kidnappers pulled out a gun and Emmanuel knew that there was no way out of this. "Please don't hurt me!!" he cried. The mysterious figure pointed the gun toward Emmanuel's head and he knew that this was the end of everything. He shut his eyes anticipating hearing the gun fire and feeling the bullet pierce through his skull. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 the kidnapper pulled the trigger. And out popped a sign that said: "Kingsball w/ me?" Emmanuel was extremely confused he thought he was supposed to be dead by now. The kidnapper took off the mask and revealed herself but it turns out it wasn't a real kidnapper it was just Noelle. And she wasn't trying to murder Emmanuel all she wanted was to achieve the best backwards proposal ever. The end.

21 comments:

  1. This was fun to read and pretty funny I hope writing it was fun as well.

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  2. I love it, creepy yet humorous too, and well I didn't see that coming at all.

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  3. "You're messing up my hair!!" This had to be the funniest line out of the entire story! Remember my fellow classmates, if you get kidnapped and they put a sack over your face, your first concern should always be your hair. Great story!

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  4. Very entertaining to read and nice plot twist, love it.Good job!
    -Aileen Munoz

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  5. Wow! Such a great story. I had so much fun reading it. Good job!

    -Sirikanya Boonyanant

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  6. Captivating and funny story. Good Job!

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  7. Very intriguing characters and a nice story. There was nice progression and a rapid fall with the sign popping out, reminded me of Deadpool. Seems like an interesting relationship between Emmanuel and Noelle... Anyways, exquisite writing, and I hope you continue to develop your writing as it is already quite adept.

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  8. I loved the plot twist. I wasn't expecting that ending at all. Good job!

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  9. I really enjoyed the sudden plot twist of the story, as it turns this story from being a tragedy to a comedy.

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  10. (Woops I did it again...)
    Previous comment was posted by Ryan Kang

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  11. Such a creative story! I was so shocked that you twisted the plot in such a way, great job.

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  12. I loved reading this, it was very entertaining and funny my favorite part was "You're messing up my hair!!"
    -Maite Vano

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  13. I absolutely loved this piece!!!! It was really funny and I love the fact that you gave it a misleading title.

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  14. What a great read! Loved the twist at the end of the story. Oddly enough, I feel like I've met these characters before...
    ~Gregory Gomez

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  15. I love it! Not only was it well-written but also very funny. However it also demonstrates what lengths people may go to to express their feelings. -Luke Riddington

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  16. You really keep the reader on the edge of their seat waiting to see what happens next. Very entertaining piece, good job.

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  17. This was such a fun story! Totally opposite from what I was expecting. Great job!
    -Karyna G

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  18. This was a hilarious and lighthearted story with a great plot twist. I loved it. There's nothing like instilling the fear of death into the person you're trying to woo.

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  19. Seeing that the title is, "The Murder", I half expected Emmanuel to actually die throughout the story (even after the plot twist). Although the piece is fictional, I totally see him worrying about his hair in real life haha. This was fun to read!

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  20. I like how you made it comedic and relatable due to it being a creative proposal. -Kayla mcgriff

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  21. Welp, might have to steal this idea for Prom..... really cute story, too!

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