There was once a boy
who lived by the name Alvin, he was a cheery young boy with ambitions greater
than one could imagine. He spent his days couped up with his father and
mother-in-law. Alvin was a great kid, he never got into any trouble, he was a
three sport athlete playing basketball, track, and baseball. There was no one
who hated him and he made a great name for himself all throughout his life.
Towards the end of his high school career, he got accepted into his dream
school, Stanford University, and he decided to go there. In September when he
was just about to start his Fall quarter, he met some very interesting people.
One of them was named Calvin and he was very intelligent. He had a way with his
words, it was almost like he knew exactly what someone wanted to hear, he could
talk his way into and out of everything he managed to get himself into. Calvin
and Alvin became best friends, they would always watch out for each other and
the Spring of that school year, they decided they would try to have the time of
their lives.
“Are you ready for
Spring Break?” asked Calvin.
“I’m so excited, it’s
gonna be a blast!” replied Alvin.
The first Friday of
Spring Break came around and there was a massive party going on in one of the
frat houses, and the boys were both invited, they were ecstatic to be able to
go, and they were surely going to try to have the time of their lives.
“Can you smell that
Alvin?”
“No, what is it?”
replied Alvin.
“That my friend, is
the smell of freedom.” Calvin said as they were approaching the house. As they
entered the house, a rush of different scents rushed in their noses and they
began to realize what they were getting into.
“I think we should
get going back to the room pretty soon.” said Alvin.
“You’re crazy, we
just got here! We might as well enjoy ourselves and try to have a good time
like we planned.” Calvin retorted.
“Yeah, I guess you’re
right.” said Alvin hesitantly.
“Here, have this.” as
Calvin hands him some alcohol.
As Calvin takes his
first sip of the beer, he almost gags, “What is this!? It tastes disgusting!”
“Just drink more
dude, we’re here to have a good time.” said Alvin.
The night progressed
and they were both heavily under the influence. The night was nearing its end
so the boys started to head back to their dorm. As they were stumbling around
they thought they were going the right way, however, they were headed right for
the campus police station.
“I think we should
just sit down for a bit Calvin, I’m not feeling too well.”
“Yeah, I think you’re
right, but only for a few minutes, we need to get back to our dorm.” replied
Calvin drearily.
The two once perfect
boys ended up falling asleep right in front of the police station on a newly
mowed lawn. They awake to two policemen shaking them awake asking for their
I.D.’s to make sure that they were of age. They weren’t. This resulted in both
of the boys being arrested for under age drinking and public intoxication. That
night both Calvin and Alvin both learned a very important lesson.
This was an interesting story that many of our peers could benefit from. I like how you added comedy in with the serious topic.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is very inspiring. It conveys to young adults that they should be aware of possible consequences that could result from their actions. Your piece clearly sends a message to young adults that they should know their limits before entering situations such as the one you talked about - Joshua Dalisay
ReplyDeleteI am glad Calvin and Alvin learned their lesson. Your piece was humorous to read mostly because it was monotone, I believe this would be a very important lesson for me to learn. I'm talking about being responsible of course
ReplyDeleteA very frank and to the point story with unfortunate but realistic consequences. Good story.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting piece to read. It really shows the consequences and hopefully many people can learn from this!
ReplyDeleteI appreciated the way you demonstrated that there are consequences for ones actions and that we need to be responsible with what we do,your short but to-the-point message made this clear.
ReplyDeleteQuick and concise. It felt like those children books that are very detailed but try to teach you a lesson at the end. This one was a detailed lesson with a not so detailed story, good piece for sure we as seniors should consider as we get ready to leave and start seeing these types of opportunities/risks.
ReplyDeleteAlessandro S
I really loved this simplistic and straight to the point of this story. It’s somethung that kids especially our age now getting ready to start going to college and partying. They need to be careful with what they do and realize that all actions have consequences.
ReplyDelete-Ricky Gomez Per.5
When starting to reading this piece, I thought something would be like a big plot twist but it ended up on showing the readers a lesson with the underage drinking. I really enjoyed how it was quick and straight to the point but also how the next step is college so we will experience the college life and the parties. It was humorous yet serious on the topic.It shows us how we need to be careful and responsible on what we did because one mistake can lead to consequences.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece because it is something that everyone can learn from and teaches a lesson. It also shows how every action has a consequence. Good job! -Hailey Vazquez Pd.2
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how your story was entertaining but you also made the effort to teach a lesson in an interesting way. I also got a good laugh from the rhyming names. I'm not sure why but I liked it. -Fatima J.
ReplyDeleteI liked the message this story conveyed , also that you used a comedical tone to lighten up a serious situation.
ReplyDeleteI was also expecting a plot twist or change to happen but I love that it teaches a life lesson. We as teens need to be more responsible because we have good things going for us. This was an amazing piece. Great job! -Mercedes Bradford
ReplyDeleteA very interesting piece to read. I like how the topic was something that many teens can relate to. Great job.
ReplyDeleteAkunna Chilaka
This was interesting because it is relevant to all of us since we are about to go to college and will be forced to be responsible for ourselves. This has a good lesson that we all should absorb and think about, especially in this time of our lives.
ReplyDeleteI loved this man. It really shows internal conflicts young people of our age may face in life and how the outcome may turn out. Great job brother!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very real piece. I liked how you kept a comedic tone but at the same time it was a very serious piece and lesson. Maybe this piece will make some people make wiser choices in life.
ReplyDelete-Diana Flores
With college so close within the horizon and adulthood within months for many, this piece had such a relevant and important theme that everyone should take into consideration. I loved that your story was brief and concise yet still contained a powerful message. -Kenneth Chen
ReplyDeleteWow this is a really great story Justin and I think that every reader can learn a lesson from this given that we ourselves will be starting college soon. -Ayo Latinwo
ReplyDeleteI really liked the message of this piece because it teaches a lesson that most people can benefit from! - Lexy M
ReplyDeleteI love this piece, very simple but full of creative writing
ReplyDeleteThis was a very good story. I enjoyed how it was a straightforward and to the point. It was very realistic Great job!!-Jesse Jauregui
ReplyDeleteThis was a really enticing story that felt super natural. I enjoyed the straight forward tone and message. This was a cool read, super fun, simple, and to the point. Nice job!
ReplyDelete-Andre Perez
I enjoyed this piece very much. I find it relatable to many of us high school students as situations like this could happen in any of our lives. I liked the message this piece portrayed.
ReplyDeleteVery great piece because just go’s to show that there are always reactions to every action and with certain actions may come consequences
ReplyDeleteVery great lesson and a big reason I’ll never drink haha. But seriously, this was such a well written and executed piece with a lot of vivid imagery that kept me engaged and wanting to read more. Very good job.
ReplyDeleteReally like how this piece is just plain entertaining. Nice way to change up what gets posted and I hope that you post more even though you've met the required amount.- Jaden Dawson
ReplyDeleteI found it to be entertaining and thought provoking, we all definitely can learn something from the piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story! I thought it was going to end with a plot twist but instead had a mesage at the end! It doesn’t matter who you are or how important you are, your life can turn rock bottom at any minute! Good job!!!
ReplyDeleteThis piece had an unexpected twist at the end. These events could have happened to anyone and this story encourages us to make the right choices.
ReplyDeleteThis story handles a serious topic and teaches isn’t a life lesson. It shows us that even as young adults we aren’t quite mature. For example, Calvin should of listened to Alvin because if he did then they wouldn’t have been arrested.
ReplyDeletei really like the context you established the position the boys were in and the moral of the story.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very straight forward and relatable piece. It is underage drinking is a huge problem, especially with the newer generations. Glad you wrote about it. - Garett Flores
ReplyDelete