Myra--Social Rejection

Social Rejection

I didn’t know what judgement was until I entered High School. California in general
seemed like a place for the most beautiful people in the world. I remember the first day of
freshman year, I came wearing a very plain white Tshirt
and all of the other girls around me
were wearing fancy dresses and blouses with loads of makeup and hair done to perfection. That
day was the emergence of my insecurity and shyness, it lasted for three years. The first thing I
noticed was that people immediately gave you a good look upanddown
before deciding how to
respond to your greeting, introducing myself to everyone seemed simple enough, a smile and a
“What middle school are you from” seemed sufficient enough. Some people answered the
question with the same friendly smile I greeted them with and others did not. Moving from such
a small town and small middle school to a suburban town and fairly populated high school was
not easy.The mere fact that there was around nine hundred students in my grade versus the
sixtyeight
at my old school was immensely degrading to my selfesteem.
I never understood the mindset of someone who was distant from people and interaction
when I was in middle school, but in high school I lived it every day. It just seemed as though I
didn’t fit in, no one seemed like they wanted the new and quiet girl in their already established
cliques. This was my first time being the new girl and it was not fun. Watching Disney movies
about high schoolers was not good training and . I always wondered why it made me feel so
worthless and insecure, I wasn’t like this in Las Vegas, I was indifferent towards any hatred
against me. I was content around the people that liked me, others were simply just people around
me and nothing else. I realized that I had not changed at all, I still thought the same way and
acted the same way. What changed is how I thought others were going to be, when I thought
about it, the same type of people that were middle school existed in high school, I just didn’t
know anyone here, so I wasn’t familiar with those types of attitudes and lacked understanding.
Obviously this was naivety, unfortunately that's the blessing that comes with being young. I
finally understood that people are not always going to like me and forcing people to, won’t ever
make their feelings change positively towards me, but possibly make them worse.
I found friends who liked me for who I am and were very similar to me, but I am happy
to say that I am now over it and have more important things to worry about. I must say that this
realization came at a very inconvenient time, when my last year of high school is marking the
end of my journey. This realization however came to me when I was thinking about my future
and starting the path towards the rest of my life. Surviving in this world is inevitably tough, but
the things we are put through in high school, no matter how horrible and heartbreaking they are,
they help us by making us stronger. Resilience is key to strength, without it we are vulnerable to
the harsh reality that is adulthood. Whether or not we enjoy high school, we all have learned
something from it. I did not enjoy high school as much as I wanted to, and I do regret it to an
extent, however, I still learned something and that’s what matters. Thank you high school, for
teaching me that people are people, they come with various pros and cons, and it is healthy to
keep in mind that that the cons might just be more evident than the pros. I am happy with
everything I have learned and with everything I have had to struggle with. When I was in the
eighth grade my health class took a survey on whether we thought we were going to change in
high school, I was the only one in the class that thought I was going to stay the same. I am happy
to say that I have changed since middle school. The perception of the world is not so
“rosecolored”
as I thought it was in middle school, and this perception has made me more
mature and ready for my future. I am still the same person, and I will never change, this is what
makes me different, and sometimes hiding isn’t always the best option.