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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The Sandwich that Could--Narelle

Each day in the back of this shelf felt the same. Every morning I woke up and saw the
same things , the back of the cinnamon toast crunch , the coffee colored pantry walls ,
nothing exciting ever went on ,every single day, the same boring routine. Every once
and awhile someone would come and grab one of my friends to take them to the outside
room everyone fantasized and spoke about. Today didn't feel boring, nor did it feel
routine in the slightest. My friend and I were the last two slices in the package , today
had to be the day we were chosen. I knew the feeling I had was correct when someone
came and took us out of our package and into the light. I remembered being so happy ,
so relieved to be out , to feel as though i could finally breathe , to feel like i had a real
shot at being happy. I was set down on a plate near my best pals , bread slice Ben,
cheesy Chad and butter Brandon. I hadn't seen them in so long and I was so happy to
finally see them but for some reason , something felt , off. They were all crying and their
eyes hung so low , they tried to smile at me , almost as if they were trying to reassure
me, but reassure me of what? I was confused , I didn't know why they were so upset. I
began to scope the whole kitchen looking for clues , something to give me a hint as to
why they were like this. Bread slice Ben waved goodbye as he was picked up , I asked
him why he was saying goodbye , that him and I had just arrived to this paradise. Just
as I was sitting back down in confusion , old mister pepper came out from the shadows
and said “you really have no idea , do you?”. Just as he was about to explain I was
picked up and right in that moment I knew this wasn't paradise , I knew this was not the
place everyone back home fantasized and dreamed about. I was laid down and speared
with butter Brandon , all i could hear was his cries of pain and his constant shouts for
help. I looked over at bread slice Ben and could not help but cry , my friend was no
longer alive , there he lie face down inside of a hot pan. Cheesy Chad was ripped apart
and put inside of the pan , on top of Bread slice Ben. I stared blankly as these terrible
things happened to my friends right before my eyes, wishing there was something i could
do. It was pointless , I had to accept this horrid fate. I was picked up and raised over
the pan , I closed my eyes , braised myself for the upcoming pain and shouted , “Grilled
Cheese!!”.

82 comments:

  1. I really liked this story because it made me laugh and feel kinda bad. Like what if all the food really are alive and feel pain when we eat them? I love grilled cheese and will think about this story next time I make one. Great imagination, good work

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  2. I will never think of a grilled cheese sandwich the same ever again. your story drew me in and i didn't feel like i was reading words. I was actually there in the cupboard seeing everything. Good Job. -Rachel Smith

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  3. Hahaha oh narelle, I could envision the whole scenario going on. I realized it was in the perspective of the bread itself in the second sentence & i started cracking up! The imagery is rich in this story & it gave me a good laugh, good job!

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  4. I absolutely adored your story Narelle! I enjoyed how you personified the food and told the story from the perspective of a naive bread slice.

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  5. Wow I love this piece! You did such an amazing job Narelle! Your title is what first drew me to this piece because I was curious on a creative writing piece about bread, and it was really good and well written! This was so incredibly creative, and reminded me of Toy Story! Similar to the toy's coming to life, the bread and other foods had feeling's and were alive as well and we could feel their pain when it turned out they were lunch :( haha! Great job overall!
    -Gabbie B.

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  6. Nooooo from the moment I knew what was going to happen to Ben and Chad, I just knew it was just going to go downhill. I absolutely love your use of personification of each cooking item. It kind of reminded me of Toy Story when Woody and his friends went to the daycare expecting fun things to happen but in reality was a nightmare for them. Overall, GREAT JOB! (:

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  7. This is great, the whole time I was reading I felt like I was watching it in my head cause because your story was so descriptive. Great personification of the food, my favorite part was that it was told from the breads perspective!!

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  8. This piece reminds me of that movie Sausage party in how everything is told from the foods perspective and how terrible it is. Though it is an interesting take and it is very funny to see. Very well written Narelle!

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  9. This piece had me triggered, it made me really imagine if the food was alive and felt the pain from people using them to prepare food. It was funny, and also looked into the role of inanimate objects in our everyday lives. Very good piece!

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  10. This story made my heart melt. The description and the imagery was so well put that legit felt bad. I don't think i'll be able to make a grilled cheese with out thinking of bread slice Ben, cheesy Chad and butter Brandon. Amazing piece <3

    -Ishrat Khan

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  11. Narelle,I loved the story. For me it was comedic,it was seriously very hard for me not to laugh while I was reading about the sudden doom for this group of old friends. After reading this I'm now craving a grilled cheese sandwich,and i'm not sure if i really want to eat one right now.
    Good Job!
    -Nicole Campos

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  12. This story is amazing, I could not stop laughing! You were incredibly creative with the characters and from the very first sentence I knew the fate of the poor bread slice. Your use of personification and imagery was amazing,I loved seeing the perspective of the bread, which is something I do not typically think about. Awesome job!
    -Bryanna Torres

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  13. This story is terrifying; you did a great job illustrating the fear in these food's hearts. I thoroughly enjoyed the perspective you created. I enjoyed this piece a lot!!

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  14. This was an amazing piece! I loved how you told your story from a bread's point of view. Your imagination must be very good to be able to do that. The dialogue between the bread, butter, cheese, and pepper were excellent in the direction that the story was heading. Great piece.

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  15. The personification of the food made me feel sorry for eating sandwiches...sort of. The personalities of the different foods really brought this piece to life great story!

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  16. I loved the description you used throughout the piece. I thought it was really funny but also kind of sad that they were just being eaten. The way the bread finally realizes that it's not really paradise was very crushing. Good job!

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  17. This was funny yet so sad! Now I'm going to feel guilty next time I have a grilled cheese.

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  18. This piece made me sad but it was still really entertaining. I love how creative your idea was because no one every stops to think about how inanimate objects would feel if they were capable of emotion. Great job!

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  19. This was hilarious! I almost feel bad for laughing though since the way you described their feelings made them seem so human. When the bread realizes what's about to happen was heartbreaking. Great job!

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  20. This piece was so funny, because it portrays the food as humans! I loved how you described what emotions the food were experiencing. This is super creative! It reminds me of a movie that I watched, but I can't think of the title! Great job!!- Lauren J.

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  21. This piece was so creative and funny! I really liked it because it made me laugh the whole time I read it and it was cool to see something from a different perspective. Nice Job!- Sophia Cordura

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  22. You are so creative! The use of personification was really funny. The details you added really helped me imagine what was going on. Good job.

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  23. As a whole, your piece was amazing. It left me cackling at parts and questioning at others. Was I empathizing with a piece of bread? It shifts our perspective about what it means to be alive, to feel. Moreover, this piece almost seems like a reflection of power structures. Why does the naive bread not know his fate? Why is old pepper enlightened? I love it. Most importantly, how does it glimpse its fate and shout Grilled Cheese in the end? is this some reflection on what death really is? will we too glimpse the other side when we are about to die, to be consumed and sit in the stomach of the universe once more? I don't know, but I do know I loved your piece.

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  24. This piece was sadly amusing. I loved the storyline and how it went from peaches and sunshine to getting burned and eaten. I would say that I feel sorry for the food, but food is amazing and I love it. Great Job!

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  25. This piece was so funny! I really enjoyed how you made the slices of bread so real. This is something I will have to think of the next time I have grilled cheese!

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  26. This was too funny! I take it the movie Sausage Party (aside from the vulgar dialogue and some inappropriate content) really opened a new door in your mind. I think that once you visualize the food in your kitchen actually having personalities, there's no going back. I imagine this piece would have quite a few people wondering if they're killers each time they eat. Nice job.

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  27. Aw this makes me think twice now of toasting bread, haha but great job with this piece! I liked your creativity and how you wrote this from the bread's perspective. It makes us feel sympathy for food.

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  28. This piece was so cute because you gave food feelings. Even though it was sad, it had me smiling and I enjoyed reading it. Great job!

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  29. This story was so cute and entertaining, but also sorrowful. The emotions of the naive bread slice and the imagery exemplified the tragic end. Nice piece!!

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  30. This flash fiction was incredibly fascinating because it made me have a combination of both sad feelings as well as to the fact that I was laughing at some times throughout the story. The part that made me sad was the fact that sometimes we are unaware of what to expect from life and what awaits us in the future, yet we may lose our loved ones sooner or later without even realizing that it could be within seconds, minutes, days, months, or years. The funny part was that I was actually imagining myself making a grilled cheese sandwich, and felt kind of guilty at the same time because I never knew that bread, butter, and cheese also had feelings just like humans do. Thank you for this story it really took me to another world that I never knew existed!!!!!

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  31. This was one of the most funniest stories out there! It reminded me so much of Sasauge Party! The way you described it had a lot of imagery and I was able to visualize every scene! Love your writing! Goodjob!

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  32. This sounds familiar because I watched the trailer for Sausage Party, and I feel like the use of perspective of food makes the situation very ironic but also very sad. This is how it would be if food had feelings, too. Who knows, maybe they do, but we just can't hear their cries of help and pain. The details in this writing definitely enhanced it for me, like I was really thinking about the sandwich I had for lunch today and what it probably was screaming as I am reading this. Great job! - Lisa Ryu

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  33. I really enjoyed the story and how the it was told from the foods perspective. The imagery was very well written and i enjoyed it alot!

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  34. Wow this story was very interesting. Reading this made me feel sorry for food and now whenever I eat i'm going to feel so bad for them. You did a very good job!

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  35. After watching Toy Story as a little kid, I was totally freaked out at the thought of my Polly Pockets being able to see and think and feel. Your story was a hilarious reminder of that paranoid feeling. The personification was done so cleverly that I'll definitely be eyeing my grilled cheeses with suspicion for a while :)

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  36. As soon as I read the title I knew I was going to like this, since it reminded me of "The Little Engine that Could". It was super creative and very saddening as I was eating a grilled cheese sandwich as I was reading this, it made me feel very guilty, haha. Really great job!

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  37. This made me smile as I read it. I know I shouldn't laugh because it might be traumatic to be a piece of food, or bread in general, but it's always fun to read from a different perspective. I liked how you decided to write from a different perspective, and how you made it as comedic as possible. You did a really good job!

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  38. This piece kinda made me feel bad for eating sandwiches. The way you described their feelings made it so realistic. I really enjoyed it. Great job!
    - Jade B.

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  39. This price was quite entertaining, it caught my attention from the first sentence up until the end. It is interesting to think about and the description made me want to eat a grilled cheese sandwich.

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  40. Wow! I loved the little details and the thorough description. I really enjoyed the personification of food and loved how you put emotion into them. Awesome work!
    -Farheen

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  41. You really brought life to these pieces of food, I was able to feel the pain and terror as they faced their cruel fate. I had a feeling what was going to happen as I started reading and I felt like telling the sliced of bread what was going on. But sadly I couldn't. I think you did a really great job by making the audience feel these foods.
    -Ruben Becerra

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  42. I don't think I've ever read a story in a perspective of a slice of bread before haha. The way you described the bread getting freed from its packaging to only realize its fate was to be eaten showed good imagination and a made a funny story.

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  43. This piece is so funny!!! I couldn't help but compare it to that one movie with those talking foods in the grocery. My favorite part was the end when they screamed "Grilled Cheese!", because I actually started to get sad for those foods. -Martina Panganiban

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  44. This was a very creative idea. I liked all of the imagery you used, I could really imagine exactly what the bread was visualizing. What a sad but funny story.

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  45. At the start, I expected this to go in a whole other direction just because of the tone. Great shift as it progresses, made me laugh.

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  46. This is such a unique piece that I honestly wouldn't have expected to see on this blog. The story is very grounded because of the various characters mentioned, but what I thought was most interesting was the perspective. We have seen stories told in the perspective of animals and toys, but rarely food so what seems everyday to us is actually different when you change your perspective. Very interesting and cute story.

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  47. This story was very unique because of the perspective which you chose to tell it from. The person's point of view is never mentioned, which gives a sense of ignorance to the person,but we sympathize with the food, which is different. We sympathize with the food knowing that we will go home and commit the same acts to Food. This is a very unique story that I wouldn't have expected to find on this blog.

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  48. Tragic personification of these food fellows has me hesitating at the dinner table. Very entertaining!!!

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  49. This was so cute I loved it! It was definitely different because of the perspective, and made me laugh even though it was sad. I'm probably going to think of this every time I make a grilled cheese now.

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  50. This piece was funny and sad at the same time. My eyes were glued to keep reading what would happen next I felt as if this was actually happening the details and description were perfect! This piece was very creative and I enjoyed reading! Good job!
    - Kaaria B

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  51. This piece was really nice! The imagination used to describe the bread and the butter and all the others is so specific and was very entertaining. Once I read the first sentence I didn't want to stop reading, the story caught my eye and I was glad I did keep reading! Good Job!

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  52. I couldn't help but laugh... Your mind is so creative. I love this!!!

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  53. This was comedy! I knew exactly where it was going from the start. And by you vividly describing the food's feelings, it started to become more realistic to the point where I actually felt sad that they all were made into grilled cheese. Great work, I love it!
    -Jordan Lee

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  54. Foods have feelings too! I laughed way too hard reading your piece. It was witty, something I'm always into and always looking for. I like how you found the most miserable sandwich for the bread to become the bread couldn't just stay cold...no it had to be cooked and toasted before it was consumed ! Great piece !

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  55. The anthropomorphism you gave to the bread and cheese, makes me regret ever having a grilled cheese sandwich. Your story was truly riveting, and I enjoyed every second of it.

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  56. I enjoyed this piece so much! I loved how you had funny elements tied with sad circumstances. It was very suspenseful!

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  57. ohmygoodness Narelle! I am SOOO in love with this piece. It's so cute and it gave me a laugh. Your personality was radiating throughout the whole story which only made me laugh more because I imagined everything happening in your voice. This was so imaginative and creative, it was a super fun read. Good Job!

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  58. great personification!! I could imagine the whole story while i read, it definitely kept my attention on what was going to happen next to the slice of bread. I'm for sure going to think about this the next time i make a sandwich.
    -karina lopez

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  59. This story was very funny! I didn't realize that the story was in the breads prospective until they started talking about getting taken out of the bag.

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  60. I loved the unique point of view that the story gave, and being humourous at the same time!
    -Austin Gomez

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  61. This was so funny and sad at the same time, I did not know how to feel! Taking the perspective of the bread was genius! When I started reading it I was not expecting it to become into a tragedy and the comical imagery just made it even better, great story!

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  62. I felt the terror this slice of bread felt. You did a really good job making the reader feel for that poor slice of bread and his friends.

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  63. For some reason I was so intrigued in the story and was even questioning like oh Noo!! The choice of names you picked were amazing and also I love how the use of imagery seemed so vivid to me that I wish it didn't end that way, but I loved it.

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  64. I see a glimpse of your personality through your writing with the humorous tone that lingered throughout the flash fiction. Its certainly astounding to see this perspective on food, and I will know think about this when eating a grilled cheese. Well hopefully the bread has some compensation, but overall a worthwile read- Vincent Santos

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  65. This was extremely funny! Even though this could never happen, I still found myself emotionally invested in the slice of bread that we were. Great Job!

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  66. Aha that was too good. I enjoyed the perspective of the bread being eaten and watching others being eaten. For some reason i really empathized with that littlw bread guy in a weird human to food way. Im still going to have grilled cheese though but now i know how they feel about it.

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  67. This piece started off with a philosophical tone, foreshadowing to the readers that a insightful discussion is about to occur. Yet, what the piece if fact introduce was a hilarious story about grilled cheese. The transition between the two tones is what I loved the most.

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  68. This piece started off with a philosophical tone, foreshadowing to the readers that a insightful discussion is about to occur. Yet, what the piece if fact introduce was a hilarious story about grilled cheese. The transition between the two tones is what I loved the most.

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  69. Super awesome piece! I thought it was really creative and well executed. I think you were able to express their emotions in a great way that forced the reader to sympathize with a grilled cheese! So funny! Amazing job!

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  70. This was hilarious. Once I saw the title, I knew I had to read more. To say the least, this was an eye opening peice on the everyday tragedies our food endures. Good job

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  71. This was such an interesting and hilarious piece! I loved how you told this story from the bread's perspective.

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  72. This has Narelle written all over it. It was a very cute story and it gave me a nice laugh very well written.

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  73. Wow this story was so cute and your imagery was great I could picture everything in my head, great job with such details!

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  74. This was funny and scary at the same time. You made me actually feel bad for these food items. Made it sound very realistic . Great job.

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  75. Who would of thought that even the task of creating a sandwich could have a dark twist?! I enjoyed how you brought bread to life all to bring to its demise. Interesting read!
    -Nwojo Abba

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  76. This piece was funny, I did kind of feel bad for the food. Imagery was easy to follow and easy to picture what was going on. I loved this!

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  77. This was an emotional roller coaster. It was extremely well written and provided enough emotional appeal to sway the hardest critic. Thank you for making me feel sorry for every time I have made a sandwich! Well done!

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  78. I thought this piece was going to be inspirational and good-humored but the morbid twist and fatal ending of the bread and his pals created an amusing short story to read.

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  79. I began reading this thinking it was going to be a happy story, until I noticed the main characters were food items and I realized what was really going on. You can feel the emotion of the characters, and I love your use of imagery and dramatic irony. Great piece!

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  80. This was a very well-written piece, very amusing, and was somehow thrilling, which is great because it wasn't expected and was actually impressive, especially seeing what you've written.
    - Francis Talla

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  81. My initial thought was how cute this story was but them I was quick to realize the fate of the little bread. Nevertheless it was very entertaining.

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  82. I love the fact this piece was both funny but at the same time sad. I never thought of how food would think if they could think. I loved your imagery it made everything seem extremely real and that i too was about to be killed and eaten.

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