One night as I was sleeping, I woke up to a loud bang coming from my window. I ran to
the window to see a big ball of light come shooting down from the sky. Then another bang
happened when it reached the ground. I grabbed my baseball bat and flashlight and ran out of
the house to see what just came down. As soon as I approached to what I thought was going to
be a meteor, a person started running towards me; I yelled “Who’s there?!” Then as it got closer
I realized it started to make a screeching noise. I flashed my light at to what I thought was a
person, and realized it was nothing like a person. The first thing I noticed was its large rounded
bubble eyes. Then I noticed it had a glowing light green skin with lengthy arms and legs. When
it got closer I realized it had its mouth open showing its sharp jagged teeth. That's when I knew
to run back to the house before it grabs me. No matter how fast I was running I knew it was
coming closer. I looked back for the last time, that’s when I saw there was not just one. I
reached for the door…...
So suspenseful! I love how as the reader you almost find out all the details to identify what is going on and then it all stops and leaves us all wondering. Great imagery and description of your emotions.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is really good and the scene feels extremely detailed. I felt the suspense in your story. Nice flash fiction!
ReplyDeleteWoe I love this supernatural type of piece! I especially love how it purposefully leaves the reader to predict their own ending! It was super original, great job!! --Megan T
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like one if those really terrifying goosebumps stories! The confusion the narrator has exactly relates to what the reader feels as they too are hanging on the edge to find out what will happen. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece sounds like it can be a legit movie if there was more to it, you know? The suspense at the end makes me want to read more of what is to come!
ReplyDeleteI love the irony in the title! When I hear "night light", I associate it with warmth and comfort in the middle of a cold and scary night. So, naturally, I got scared when I read "it was nothing like a person." As I kept reading, I didn't realize that I was biting the collar of my shirt. My only question is what happened after you reached for the door.... Haha, we all know the answer to that! Good job!
ReplyDeleteVery suspenseful atmosphere, exactly like the short stories that make you build up anticipation but then leave you to imagine the rest of the story on your own
ReplyDeleteI really love how it ends on a cliffhanger and lets the reader come up with their own ending for it. I think that's half the fun in this piece, along with all the vivid imagery and suspense throughout the whole thing. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteVery suspenseful piece! This short story was to the point but made the reader understand the full intensity of the story. Also, the cliff hanger adds to your suspense. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe atmosphere and imagery in this piece is intense! For a very short story it conveys a real sense of fear and the supernatural aspect brings the mystery of it all into play. Thank you for writing this piece!
ReplyDeleteThat cliffhanger my gosh!! This was a great story to read although at first I thought it was going to be a cute frilly story and then all the sudden you get deeper in to the story and it's scary that was really cool .
ReplyDeleteGood job
This is a really cool short story that is really suspenseful. I really appreciated that twist where there was more than one alien, as well as the visual imagery you included. Really cool content in a so few words!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the ending because it allows each reader to imagine what could happen next. Many of us have lost our imagination and have let go of all the possibilities of things simply because of the satisfaction of being right. We must again realize the power of imagination.
ReplyDeleteI love how you vividly describe what is going on around you! Also, your fantastic use of suspense kept me wanting more. Great job!
ReplyDelete-Tyler Kniss
This was super creative and fun to read. I love the title and ending. Nice imagery :)
ReplyDelete- Andy Burgos
Dang it Harley I am hoping for a part two because that was really suspenseful. Your use of imagery to describe the creature was very good and overall the story was very well written.
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