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Friday, January 27, 2017

Scorched--Kiara

He never knew heat before he met her. He thought he became acquainted with heat the minute he
moved his life to the desert, but he was so utterly wrong. The moment he met her, his entire world
sizzled. He was scorched by the warmth of her light. Even more so seared by her smile., and he can
remember being drawn to her heat. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually welcomed
third degree burns, but when she first spoke to him, he liked that her fire could disintegrate both his
thoughts and his ability to speak.
Her fire burns the brightest when she’s happy, but burns even brighter when she’s not. It extends
from her like a blazing whip, lashing at everyone with all the heat she can provide. But she doesn’t
mean to burn anyone when she’s angry. He knows she doesn’t.
People ask him why he stays. Everyone knows that her fire isn’t just simple warmth anymore, and he’s
not quite sure if he alone can put it out. But he can’t tell them that the same source of heat that
singes him also slathers his wounds in salves. Can’t explain to his friends that her trail of fire has
somehow wrapped itself around him like a snake. He can’t even begin to express why the fear of Hell
has long since left his body, but he knows that it won’t be coming back.
He knows now that he can’t be her firefighter forever.
He hopes that one day she can learn to be her own.

26 comments:

  1. I love this story! The last two lines are so meaningful, the fire imagery was really cool because it allowed me to see that he was burned by her at least a few times and stuck with her because he loved her warmth and radiance. This is a really great story Kiara, awesome job!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Gabby :) I'm really glad that you caught that the male persona who is "telling" the story is ironically drawn to the same source of heat that ultimately hurts him. The idea was to portray a very conflicted individual stuck in a relationship that's no where near perfect. Thanks for commenting!

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  2. I loved your piece because of the consistent, beautiful, and varying forms of fire imagery used throughout. The story was simple and flowed elegantly yet complex in the way you used the fire to support your story's central idea.

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  3. I enjoyed the way you used fire as a symbol of love, passion, warmth, anger, and pain. I thought it was very clever how you described fire's ability to both warm and harm someone, and your piece struck me with the realization that love behaves similarly to fire in that sense. Well done.

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  4. I really like your piece it is captivating and beautiful. The use of fire as metaphor helped to convey the warmth and passion of both characters. I loved it, great job!!

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  5. You really were successful in paining this passionate picture of a literal and figurative burning love. It is adorable and relatable. LOved it! --Megan T

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  6. I loved how passionate and vivid the fire symbol was in this piece, reading it made ME feel warm but also anxious. This was an awesome way to compare the burning feeling love and fire. I loooove it!!!!

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  7. This piece is very interesting and creative and I enjoyed reading it because you explained two types of fire and how it had affected the guy. It's crazy because we as viewers react exactly how the friends reacted. Yet, what we fail to understand is how the lady made him feel alive and warmed by her presence, but also the pain he has felt. The vivid details in this piece were very good. Well done.

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm super glad that you were able to feel as conflicted as the male speaker is in the story because that's exactly how I wanted my readers to feel. I believe using a conflicted tone was neccessary in order to to portray a true and devoted love affair.

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  8. Your heat imagery is amazing and perfectly compliments the story. I really enjoyed how every sentence referenced heat and how the overall story shows just how strong love can be. Great job!

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  9. This story was absolutely amazing!! I loved the explorative imagery and the fiery symbol for love, and how it could either be a good or bad thing depending on who you are and how you handle or interpret it. Great Job!!!

    -Aliyah Dumas

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  10. The imagery in this piece is great! It keeps the reader so engaged and the central idea is so complex yet beautiful. After reading this, I couldn't help but read through the detailed parts that made this story come to life. Great job!

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  11. Wow Kiara this is such an amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also adore your use of fire/ heat imagery to convey the central theme of your piece. Amazing job, Kiara.

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  12. This piece was so intense and I loved the use of an extended metaphor. I liked the use of the third perspective specifically for the guy. And the message of having her take care of herself is so strong and hearty.

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  13. I loved this piece so much due to the imagery. It is so creative, and was written so beautifully! The last two lines are the best, and are so meaningful! Great job!! -Lauren J.

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  14. This piece is beautifully written and the fire imagery enhanced its elegance. I love how you used fire as different symbols such as love and anger.

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  15. This piece was simply elegant. Fire can mean a lot of things; Love, pain, passion, anger, beauty, and so on. Your piece really captures that everyone has a spark within them, and that we must learn to harness it and use it. A beautifully written piece.
    -Ethan To

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  16. This piece has so many emotions going through it's amazing your writing is amazing. What really got to me was the las two sentences because a lot of us worry about taking care of others but never remember bout ourselves or like him hoping that if we can't save that person that they can save themselves

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  17. The imagery of this piece was so beautiful. I love the different ways you described the heat this girl gave off, both externally and internally. I really loved the line "Her fire burns the brightest when she’s happy, but burns even brighter when she’s not." Great piece!!

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  18. The use of fire in both a negative and positive sense highlighted the importance of connotation and denotation. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish, but other times they can mean the same thing.

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  19. The use of imagery in this piece was incredible! By using heat to describe so many different things, you are able to showcase the complexity of the English language and how it can be played with. Great job!

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  20. I really enjoyed the symbolism the fire contained, which perfectly represents every element of the fire. I also saw how it represents the struggle of relationships, I think, I don't know, I'm tired, but if it does, it's actually pretty accurate, and funny to see because i reflect on it.
    -Francis Talla

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  21. I absolutely adore how you examined and portrayed all the ambiguities tied with the concept of fire. This was eloquently written and the imagery as well as the plot were fierce. Spectacular job!

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  22. The vivid imagery captured in your piece is amazing and helps me better understand the complexity of this love. This truly encompasses many aspects of love and the desire within each lover to love one another.

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  23. The use of fiery imagery and diction throughout the piece was so intriguing!! I felt as though it made your piece so engaging; this is a very well written story. So expressive of the complexities of love and pain

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  24. Your use of fire to describe their relationship and her as a person was very good. This was very well written. Great job!

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