Alright so in this How To I’ll teach you the essential art of procrastination and the
situations it should be utilized in. So I suppose there has to be steps to procrastination, so I
assume the first step would be . . . I haven’t really planned this out have I? Well let me leave so
I can figure out the steps . . .
Oh, I forgot I had to do this, I was busy getting snacks and some water. And after that I
turned on my TV and watched some HBO for a while, Then I got pretty tired and took a nap for
an half hour or so. Well I suppose now is as good a time as any for finishing this. So the first
step would be . . . AH, it would be to take your mind off of whatever task you don’t want to do.
Hmm I guess you would need a distraction to do that. What’s a good distraction? Let me check
my Snapchat while I wait for some ideas to come to me.
Did you know that Trump’s already standing up to China? Pretty interesting read, with
Trump talking to Taiwan president Tsai Ing-wen and then Trump badmouthing China in his
tweets. How will this affect our trade with China and any diplomatic agreements we have with
them? Well I guess that’s not important now; I should focus on finishing this “How to”. I’m sure
you guys don’t want to hear about world news, you want to learn how to professionally
procrastinate! So, what step am I on . . . ah yeah, step two, right? Hm let’s see, I have about
one other step so on to the second step. Step two is to then be oblivious to any reference to the
task you are supposed to do. So if someone tells you to start, act like you didn’t hear them. Or if
you did start and someone wants to know your progress then just - oh sorry, my phone is
ringing I’ll have to take this.
Guys, dinner was the best; we had four-layer lasagna with meat sauce and cheese and -
wait a minute, you don’t care, I’m supposed to be teaching you how to procrastinate. Actually
hold on, let me see if I even used that dash correctly. Uh huh . . .uh huuh . . . uh huuuuuuuuuh,
yup I did. Aren’t you guys proud of me?! NO? Well I’m not sure what you fellows really want
then. Fine, I’ll finish the “How to”. Did I finish the second step? Hmm, it seems only halfway
complete but I’ll just leave it at that, always time to finish tomorrow. So step three, wait a minute,
is there even a third step necessary? Let’s just say there is, so step three would be, “Get others
to finish your task for you.” Of course the easiest way to do this is in group projects. You can
slack off and others will do it for you since they need a good grade on the project. But this is for
amateurs. Real professional procrastinators should be able to get random people to finish their
work for them, even if the person never had any previous involvement in their work. SO I’m
going to leave this up to my sister to finish up, peace out guys.
. . . My sister didn’t want to finish this so, I guess I’m back. Actually I’m going to
procrastinate on this, maybe tomorrow guys.
I read this because i wanted to see how you procrastinated and compare it to how i procrastinate. It was great to read some similarities and relate to them and then read the differences and make a mental note to try those procrastination ideas later. -Rachel Smith
ReplyDeleteThis is the best thing ever!! It is so dang relatable, it is a shame that I am not following your advice for the blog comments though. I really like how you put your distractions in and step three was the best one! Even though I don't like it when people do that it definitely is the best part of procrastinating. This piece was witty and touched upon some things that I know are definitely things I use to procrastinate *cough* listening to Trumps antics *cough*. Great work Austin!! Your "How To" was unconventional and was a refreshing read :)
ReplyDeleteThis post gave me a good laugh especially because I'm procrastinating homework right now and because I think you got inspired to write this from procrastinating this assignment. I thought this was an interesting way of how to use a "How To" for your blog. I should've posted this at 11:59 the day its due, but oh well.
ReplyDeleteI loved this it was funny and relatable. This is such an accurate process we all can relate to when were procrastinating! Your writing style was great how you described procrastinating writing the how to while writing a how to procrastinate.
ReplyDeleteThis actually made me giggle a few times in a really quiet classroom, so thanks for that. It's hilarious because it's so relatable this is actually what I must sound like. Reading this I was thinking I really wish I would've thought of this myself so I could stop procrastinating on my January blog post. -Vanessa Lai
ReplyDeleteThis was pretty funny to be honest, very relatable to how I would slack off on my homework on a daily basis. I procrastinate for a cool three hours before I sit down and attempt to focus on my assignments. Good work!
ReplyDeleteWow I'm impressed by the style that you wrote in; stream of consciousness was a good choice for this process. It's a bit frustrating to see a daily flaw of mine be so clearly illustrated, but new year, new me, right?
ReplyDelete- Joey Barron
Thanks for noticing the style, I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could write a successful piece using Stream of consciousness and still make it enjoyable for others to read.
DeleteI feel like this is literally every high school student!! I love how original your piece was, it really made me laugh.
ReplyDeletexD this was hilarious and so relatable. I loved how you procrastinated on teaching us how to procrastinate, picked up some tricks so thanks for that. Very entertaining piece, good job!!
ReplyDelete-Ishrat Khan
I enjoyed every single aspect of your writing especially how relatable it is, you just perfectly described how off task I can get when I truly want to procrastinate. I procrastinate sometimes for hours I tell myself that I'll start the assignment at 7 but then it hits 7:03 so then I push it to 8 and so on. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteStory of my life. I love your style of writing and how relatable it is to every student ever:P
ReplyDeleteI feel like this connects to pretty much everyone. I was surprised that it was a more humorous type of how to. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a bit too relatable, which really shouldn't be a good thing but I enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteI found it really funny how you kept dragging your "How to" out. I have to give you props for mentioning World Events and criticizing our future president's questionable actions. But as for your "How to" I could clearly see that you've waited the last minute before submitting! Not that it's a bad thing, but I, and many others, would have done so as well.
ReplyDeleteI feel as though I truly understand the art of procrastinating from this piece. It was really funny and informative. Great job, I really enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was immensely enjoyable to read. You absolutely nailed the tone and I felt as if you were talking to me in person yet also leaving and coming back. Great lighthearted fun.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was very amusing. I loved how you dragged on each step because everyone knows that it's all true. And if they say it's not, don't listen to them they're lying. I hate procrastinating but I still do it, unfortunately. But anyway I really liked this piece. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you made a how to on how to procrastinate was too good to be true. In reality, reading this made me laugh. Thanks for helping me improve my procrastination skills.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece as it was hilarious and made me laugh! I guess it isn't a good thing that I can relate to the majority of your piece!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a creative idea for a how-to! I love how it mixed the steps with funny commentary and actual procrastination. Definitely the most entertaining how-to I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh because even though it is pretty tragic on how procrastination takes over, it is so dang relatable! I also love how you procrastinated on writing procrastinate on your title lol. You did a great job. :)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love how you described a person's mindset through a first person POV rather than simply listing steps as to how you procrastinate. This piece is very relatable sadly but that's what makes it unique in its own form. Overall great job Austin!
ReplyDeleteIt was a really nice tie between the goofy side yet "serious" side. It's not the usual how to you would read on the blog, i felt the process of it and it was really nice! Nicely done!!
ReplyDelete-Vivian Chiang
This was sadly very relatable and very funny. I'm sure this has happened to every high school student, if not always. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI thought that this was very entertaining to me, yet also very relatable! I truly enjoyed reading this and seeing how you procrastinate and how it compares to how I procrastinate.
ReplyDeleteHahahah this was so interesting, I found out really amusing. Love the idea of your piece.
ReplyDeleteI. Love. This. So. Much. I don't think I've ever related to a piece of writing as much as I do with this one. I love how you made it very humorous and in first person, and the irony of this is just too good. Great job, Austin! - Lisa Ryu
ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect representation of how my life goes everyday after school when it comes to homework and probably the main reason why i dont get sleep great piece!!
ReplyDeleteThis story was really good because I and i'm sure a lot of other people could relate to it. I found it funny how instead of saying how to procrastinate you actually procrastinated in the story. Job well done.
ReplyDeleteYour stream of consciousness was so reminiscent of my own daily thought process when doing (or avoiding, actually) my homework. I appreciated the references to current events and all the specific details you included that tied together to make this piece so relatable.
ReplyDeleteI was laughing while I read this because I can definitely relate to this. I liked how you described your How To by literally procrastinating through the steps. Especially when you started talking about having dinner.. I would wait until dinner to do my homework, eat my dinner, and then be too lazy or tired to do my homework after I finish. I guess that's Senioritis for you!
ReplyDeleteI found this funny the entire way through, I found myself wondering how you were going to actually write this and was struck with how relatable this actually was. And the way you utilized stream of consciousness was very well executed. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece because of how relatable and humorous it is. It was very entertaining. Great job!
ReplyDelete- Jade B.
I really really really found my self being able to relate to this piece. As someone who is really great at procrastination, I found this piece both entertaining and really easy to relate to. I like how you really captured the idea of procrastination and really pushed for the complete experience. You did a good job.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this peice, it brought a smile to my face because that's how my mind wonders when I am procrastinating. You did a wonderful job conveying procrastination at its finest. I was a fun to read.
ReplyDeleteWOW! This is hilarious and completely true! I always go on my phone and check social media constantly when I am doing homework. The best part of the writing was that you were procrastinating while writing a how to on procrastination.
ReplyDeleteThis "How To" was genius. Of course you gave the readers steps on how to procrastinate, but the way you incorporated the element of procrastination into your instructions was just pure genius. I love the way you included your own personality into this piece. It truly felt as if I were talking to you. Amazing job with this relatable piece! Did I mention it was genius?
ReplyDeleteThis was actually really funny to me! This is my favorite story cause it really made me laugh because I can totally relate to this. This sounds like what's going on in my mind when I'm trying to do homework. The fact that you were trying to describe how to procrastinate while procrastinating was great, and you even procrastinated in the title haha.
ReplyDeleteThis was really funny :) it honestly made me want to reevaluate my life because of how much I could truly relate to it. Even now I find myself procrastinating on doing an assignment that I could've finished yesterday. Great job! I loved it
ReplyDeleteThis was genius!!! At first I thought "Are there really any steps in procrastinating?" and then when I read it I laughed. This is a great "How to" piece. -Martina Panganiban
ReplyDeleteAshamed to say how relatable this is, but i really liked this piece. I love the humor that came out of this, gave me a good laugh!
ReplyDeleteI am sure almost every high school student can relate to this or has done this at least once (probably too many times to count) in their life. You really captured the thoughts that run through all of our minds while doing an assignment we really have zero interest in completing.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the way you incorporated your actions into this, giving examples, essentially. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteWow this piece is something very bold that only comes up every once in a while,so I enjoyed it very much. This piece does really well at putting many of our thoughts into words, which is probably not the best thing, but it's true. This is a very relatable and funny piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny! You captured exactly the things I do myself when I procrastinate, which include naps and eating. Very relatable, and it makes me feel a lot better about myself knowing that I'm not the only one who does this. (:
ReplyDeleteThis was the most relatable piece I have read; all the way down to the thought process and simple distractions that always keep me from finishing anything early. Great job!
ReplyDelete-Jordan Lee
I loved how funny this piece was, you really did capture what its like to procrastinate, just like how right now I am procrastinating on my stats homework....yikes i should go do that, but the tv is calling my name. I loved how you didn't just do a "how to" about the topic, but that you actually procrastinated within the steps.
ReplyDeleteWow it is a bit sad how much I relate to this but on the other hand, I enjoyed all the different elements you put in this piece.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part about this is how relatable and real it is. I mean who doesn't procrastinate! It's so funny because this is exactly how procrastination works and it's so easy to avoid doing what you're supposed to do. Thanks for this read, i loved it!
ReplyDeleteThis is me if I'm honest. When I was reading this I thought about how I basically do the same thing
ReplyDeleteWhy is this so true?!? this piece made me laugh because it was so spot on. I feel like this is everyone at some point. Good job
ReplyDeleteI was laughing so much because it was relatable and you would keep on procrastinating from your how to on procrastination and it was cool how you would put your thoughts in.
ReplyDeleteBefore i read this piece i was kind of hoping your procrastinating skills would be more extreme then mine. But i unfortunately i think mine are still on a whole other level, which is a good thing! For you!
ReplyDeleteThis was hilarious, it embodies the mind of every procrastinator out there in the world. I also like how most of us are going to procrastinate on their comments and here we have a "How To" on procrastinating. This piece is too perfect.
ReplyDeleteI chose this piece to read because as a master procrastinator, I wanted to see the point of view of another master. And, they aren't that different. Instead of working on physics and gov, I'm reading this and playing mancala at the same time. A very accurate and relatable piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWell you should show me the differences in our methods so I can expand my methods and potentially (but probably not) the "how to"
DeleteThis was HILARIOUS! My jaw dropped from how funny this was! This was so relatable! Definitely outlined my whole thought process when I do homework, which normally is not a good thing but worked wonders for your piece!
ReplyDeleteThis caught my attention because i wanted to see the different forms of procrastinating that everyone has! I found this so funny and interesting really good piece.
ReplyDeleteMelanie Salazar
This is one how to I did not need but still appreciate, because, well I love to procrastinate. Doing these comments the last hours of the day theyre due is great, except when I forgot that one time. Lol, thanks austin.
ReplyDeleteThis post was beyond relatable, and I felt a very personal voice in the writing. The personality of the speaker is also the personality of the writer and that provides a sense of irony. I laughed at the very beginning because I too will suffer the same fate when i begin to write my blog post. Very good job.
ReplyDeleteI relate too much, I'm a big procrastinator myself but thanks on more tips on "how to" procrastinate! It was also a pretty funny piece. Good job!!
ReplyDelete-karina l.
This is absolutely perfect! It is spot on, and I really liked that you not only included specific steps on how to procrastinate, but how you also worked in a really entertaining first person narrative that demonstrated those steps and summed up procrastination really well.
ReplyDelete-Chris Kerwin
This "How To" was just fantastic, it excellently describes how most people procrastinate from there phones going off to eating dinner to even taking a nap. Great piece and a great guide for anyone who may not know procrastination
ReplyDelete-Austin Z Gifford
I had so much fun reading this piece. I thought your wittiness and humor were great! Thanks for the great read and keeping me up to date with what Trump is doing with China. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI initially read this to see if I could relate to it at all. Sadly enough, I could. I loved your humor throughout the piece, it made your writing a bit more interesting.
ReplyDeleteI was deeply attracted by the topic of the piece. The humorous tone flowed throughout the passages and appealed to the readers really well as we are all students, as know as procrastinators.
ReplyDeleteThis had me in tears because of how accurate it is. I nearly died when you abruptly started writing about your dinner; this piece is so comical. I am an easily distracted person so I connected to this on a spiritual level; I actually got distracted while typing this comment. Thank you so much for making my weekend with your blog submission. Superb job!
ReplyDeleteThis relates to me basically everyday starting late from procrastinating all day lol. It was really interesting relating how i procrastinate with another person's own procrastination. Really great work!
ReplyDeleteThis can be relatable to everyone especially us seniors now. This was a good laugh and very enjoyable to read. At first I wondered how this would turn out but I really did like it. Good job!
ReplyDeleteYour writing style was so interesting and made me want to keep reading; also, this was a very relatable read, great job, truly grasping writing technique!
ReplyDeleteI loved how relatable this piece was and how it had such a honest and funny tone, great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great piece! I love how you really incorporated your own voice into it, along with the humor throughout! This is very funny and very relatable; and your title caught my eye right away! Great piece!
ReplyDelete-Gabbie B.
I don't think i can accurately describe how much I love this. Every part made me laugh. Execution of this piece is very impressive. Thanks for outlining the life of majority of students. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow, this peice was so good and so relatable!... Considering I, myself am procrastinating as I write this!
ReplyDeleteVery relatable to me ! My mind is always wondering places, as you can see how I am finishing this literally at 12 at night...this writing was very humorous, good job.
ReplyDeleteThis is was a really clever read! I'm glad you poked fun at procrastination and didn't create this how-to by the books! I can relate to this on many levels.
ReplyDelete-Nwojo Abba
Me being a avid procrastinator felt a connection with this piece! Funny and relatable!
ReplyDeleteWow this is seriously my life. I love how relatable this was! I really enjoyed this piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was funny and relatable in every way. Very entertaining.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! This is an accurate representation of my daily routine and my mood most nights. I'm fairly sure that you know about all of these steps from past experience Tyler ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is the most comical piece ever! It's so relatable to because I'm high school,
ReplyDeleteI've learned that I could not procrastinate more than I do! But it also gives you that point of view that procrastinating is all fun and games until it hits your grades! But great job!
TYLER!!!! I remember you procrastinated till the night it was due on turnitin and I was on the phone with you when you told me you were going to work on this. 20 minutes later, you shared me your blog and when I read it (you didn't even have to revise it!) I already knew that this would become the most popular blog of this month. I'm glad I was able to read it first!
ReplyDeleteANTHONY!!!! I didn't think this would garner the attention that it would and even now I procrastinate writing this reply but thanks for complementing my writing before I submitted it, it made me more confident in sharing it.
DeleteOh my goodness this is awesome! It's so entertaining and relate able that it easily has reached one of my favorites. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteThis just perfectly summarizes how you can procrastinate just about anything. I know you waited until the last minute to write this, but as always, you pull through with something amazing.
ReplyDeleteI expected to see everything that a few others and I would do and was not disappointed, it was an amusing piece due to the fact that it is relatable to us because it's what we do every week, students, that is.
ReplyDelete- Francis Talla
This is literally me... kind of scary!
ReplyDelete