The Night I Lived--Rachel

On October 29, 2016 I was in Santa Barbara visiting my boyfriend Dallin. It was date
night and we decided to grab some frozen yogurt and walk down the beautiful State Street and
window shop. It was the weekend before Halloween and all of the college students had come out
to party. We saw a “Cinderella” fall down to the side walk and act like a child while her “Prince
Charming” tried to help her up but seemed a little dazed as well from intoxication. It was
freezing cold outside so we hurried back to my car. After we had finished our frozen yogurt we
tried to come up with a fun activity to do. We decided on rock climbing even though I am
deathly afraid of heights. We found out that they closed early due to the festivities of Halloween
so Dallin suggested we go jump off Goleta Pier. He didn't think I would actually say yes, heck I
never thought I’d say yes to jumping off anything over five feet. Maybe it was the sugar from the
yogurt or the fact that I’m crazy for him and like going on adventures with him but I said yes to
both of our amazement. As we drove to the pier I bombarded him with questions of sharks and
death and landing wrong and he reassured me that it was safe and that he had done it many times.
I was so anxious that I felt sick as I drove and anxiety was swelling up inside of me as we neared
the beach. I parked in the almost empty parking lot near the base of the pier far from the light of
the cafe that was open to a few college students snuggling to keep warm and drinking hot
chocolate. I got out and took my shoes and socks off and locked the doors and stashed my car
keys on the tire. I left my clothes on because it was freezing cold outside and I wanted to savor
the last feeling of warmth I felt before plunging into the cold abyss. The pebbles of the parking
lot were hard beneath my soft feet and I cringed as I felt little shards of glass here and there
almost cut me. Dallin had the toughest feet so he didn't notice and he seemed to not notice the
cold either. The pier was long and it seemed like it took forever to get to the end of it. A few
fishermen were out doing some night fishing and they looked at our bare feet as we passed them,
and walked to the end and found a dark corner. I looked down over the thick wooden railing and
saw the dark glistening waters below and saw dark shadows and shapes and pictured sharks
waiting for me. I heard the water softly lap against the pillar of the pier and thought it could have
been a nice romantic setting if we had just planned to walk out there and stare out at the ocean
and not jump in. I was so scared out of my mind that I started shaking and breathing rapidly.
Dallin told me I didn't have to do this but I felt that I needed to prove to myself that I can do
crazy things. I wanted to experience doing something out of my comfort zone. The next ten
minutes were spent with me hyperventilating and then calming down and Dallin picking me up
and setting me on the railing to position me and then taking me back into his arms as I freaked
out and realized how high up we really were. Finally I was able to climb over and step onto part
of the foundation of the pier underneath and waited for him to climb over and join me. We stood
there holding hands and staring at the water. I looked at him and wished I could be as fearless as
him. He looked at me and said that he has done this jump five different times and each time he is
just as scared as his first time. I felt comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone in my feelings and waited
for his count to three. I closed my eyes and let him pull me with him. I had enough time through
the fall to scream and then not scream and then scream again right before I hit the water. My
body sank so low into the water that it took longer than I had anticipated to reach the surface. I
knew the water was freezing but so much adrenaline was coursing through me that it felt warm. I
saw Dallin make his way to the ladder underneath the pier and I followed, feeling giddy and
nervous of the creatures that could have lurked beneath me. We climbed up to the maintenance
level walk way underneath the pier and sat there. I started shaking with cold and the realization
at what I had just accomplished and Dallin hugged me and said he was so proud of me for doing
something that I was scared to do. We gingerly made our way up the steps to the top of the pier
and past the fishermen staring at our wet clothes. As soon as we got back to the car, we stripped
down to our underwear and cranked up the heater. I was still shaking but I was smiling.