Wednesday, September 28, 2016
The Streets He Takes--Jeremy
“If you’re ever stopped by an officer, both hands up on the steering wheel. Don’t reach for your license and don’t speak your mind. Do as the officer tells you.” The routine speech from Bryson Miller’s parents echoed in his ears as he took his usual drive to St. Cristiano High School in upper Manhattan. His family lived in the part of town that was ridden with drug trafficking, car robberies, and often cases of police injustice from the officers who were seemingly posted at every corner like a new liquor store. He didn’t mind driving thirty minutes to his new school. He liked his high school where he had many friends and his pop’s old ‘96 Ford Escort that got him from point A to point B just fine. A newspaper stand caught Bryson’s eye at the red light since the headline read “ Star Quarterback Slandered for Refusing to Stand fo r National Anthem.” In this world nowadays, Bryson found it exhausting to see that social equality was so hard to attain with the nation conflicted over police brutality and people of color protesting for their rights to be recognized. Once a celebrity provides their own opinion on the matter, they are heavily slandered for doing so. It was as if both sides could not come to terms after such a long struggle. As Bryson crossed the intersection of Grand & Forager, he noticed his passenger seat headlight had flicked off through a nearby store window. “Man, I better check that out so that other cars can make out my car coming.” Stopped in a nearby parking lot, Bryson popped the hood of his car to fix his headlight. Unbeknownst to him, a nearby shop owner had notified the police that a “suspicious man” was loitering near his property. In a matter of five minutes, red and blue lights accompanied by shrieking sirens could be heard rushing up on Grand. “Oh Lord, those cops are flying up the street.” Bryson thought. Two police cars with three officers in assembly hopped out and approached him with what appeared to be their hands on their holsters. They stepped to him and growled at him to vacate the parking lot. Bryson explained that he was simply fixing his headlight and was not intending to stay long. “Well,” said one of the officers, “you won’t have to worry too much about that light,” as he used his baton to smash Bryson’s headlight all over the ground. Bryson was itching to lash out against the officers who assaulted his car, but swallowed his words and muttered a poignant “Yes, officer. I'm on my way out.” The cops lingered around until Bryson left the lot and was out of sight, coldly watching him as he left. Bryson, however, memorized the names on their badges and license plates to their patrol cars. He thanked God that he got away with his life by keeping a cool head and would make sure to right the wrongdoing he just endured.
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I really loved this piece for so many reasons! The first sentence really hooked me in and had me thinking "Oh no something terrible is going to happen" but then the ending took me by surprise because, honestly, and unfortunately, I was not expecting even a somewhat happy ending. And I know of a lot of people that have shied away from writing something like this because they don't know how it will be taken and it's just a hard topic to tackle sometimes, so it's really cool to see something like this. So overall, great job!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story surrounding a very controversial topic that needs tof be talked about. This story hooked me immediately because my parents have often told me that exact line about facing a police officer. Great Story!
ReplyDeleteYou're social commentary is absolutely stunning in its poignancy and depth despite its ostensible simplicity and directness. To say nothing of what you pointed out about the rhetoric of submission and obedience inculcated into POC or the sensationalizing of standing up for yourself as "rebellious" and "unpatriotic," it was you're final sentence that truly laid bare the absurdity of the situation faced by many African-American citizens. The man thanked God for a cool head which saved his life! Why is it that his demeanor saved his life? Why is it that he had to fear for his life in the first place? While generalizations are inaccurate, it's hard to ignore the dependency on lethal force of police, especially in interactions with African-American men. How can anyone expect a community that has been subjected to literally generations of oppression, to remain docile and accepting? to not be vociferously angry? and to remain consistently level-headed in the face of such injustice? Your piece is yet another inspiring example of the current spirit of the fight for equality which is done with asking for justice and is now instead, demanding it.
ReplyDeleteJeremy, this was honestly amazing. I like how you eloquently address one of the many issues that African American men and women experience on almost a daily basis. It's really nice to see a story like this with a happy ending because realistically speaking based off of current events the situation wouldn't have ended well. Also, your build up was great I thought it was cool how you described the police officers to instill fear in the audience. Great job kid! -J'Noie
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that you chose a controversial and difficult topic to write about. The more I read, the more nervous I became because I expected your story to end like so many others, with death and injustice. Good job with your approach to such a relevant subject.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the fact that you used your voice to write a story about what it is to be in a situation like this. Today, unfortunatly, we see a lot of cases where these things take a turn for the worse. As I read this I started to feel a sense of dread as the police officers came, and a part of me immediatly jumped to the unfortunate ending. This story really brought a sort of reality, as upsetting as it is, that is important to think about.
ReplyDeleteWow, the story got interesting with every word and sentence put in. This is a great story, especially since it corresponds to a topic that many are focusing on. This story depicts how it is in real life, all of it was a scenario that could occur anytime and anywhere. It relates to the point where it was breathtaking. I LOVED it.
ReplyDelete-Vivian Chiang
Your story was so chilling, the fact that this is a real problem in today's society terrifies me. I appreciate that you realistically described the scenario and put the reader in the shoes of the character. The emotions throughout the whole piece gave me chills; it was chilling.
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing this issue up. It's not an easy to topic to talk about in American society considering how controversial it is. But this is where it all starts, we need to at least talk about the issue before we can change it.
ReplyDelete-Ruben Becerra
I love this story because it's on a prevalent issue today , that nobody usually likes to talk about . I like how you described the narrators feeling toward the issue of police brutality ,it was clear and I could sympathize with his passion. I felt like I could see what was happening through your words.
ReplyDeleteThis story got interesting the more I read it. It got to the point where I was reading to slow and my mind was running way ahead of me, making me think the officers were going to throw him into their car and put him in jail. But I loved the ending and how he handled things calmly. Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteI love the topic that you chose to write about. I felt a sense of anticipation towards the end when the cops rolled up. I really liked this, great job. - Deric Stephens
ReplyDeleteInteresting and very detailed story. This is a real problem today that many people are terrified of. In the beginning, I automatically assumed the worst ending due to the recent stories i have read about, so i was surprised to find a happy and safe ending.
ReplyDeletewow... really enjoyed your story and the voice you created allowing us into the mind of those who are faced with this problem every day. You managed to speak about a triggering topic in a sensitive but meaningful matter. You left me scared what was going to happen next and hoping your character would end up unharmed, and that is hard to achieve such emotion in such a short piece. -Vanessa Lai
ReplyDeleteSuch a great story! it was so real every word that you put and every detail that you described tied up the story to really make me feel all the emotions great job.
ReplyDelete-Melanie Salazar
I loved your piece! The First sentence is an amazing hook. Your writing is extremely detailed and descriptive which makes it seem so vivid. Not only that but it is a piece that we can all relate to with the current police brutality and Black Lives Matter movement. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. And when i got to the "smashed headlights" i jumped, and i was so surprised but that action, but i really shouldn't be because that truly is how the world is today.i myself have never been pulled iver by cops, now i do realize that there really are good and bad cops out there in the world.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, okay this is honestly the greatest thing ever. I loved that you decided to address the racial inequality black lives are facing. This was so real to read and relates so much to what has been a constant and recurring issue. Reading it made me feel his terror and fear also as a black individual. It sucks because these things happen everyday and this story just goes to show that no matter what we do, as black individuals, we are always a target because the color of our skin. I liked this a lot Jeremy, good job. (:
ReplyDeleteThis story is an accurate representation of the social injustice that many Americans face today. It is terrifying to know that these types of situations still occur and unfortunately, many of the officers who commit these injustices are not held accountable.
ReplyDeleteThe tone of the story shifted from silently obeying to ironically humorous. As the story was first introduced, the speakers says to "follow the cops, don't disobey". This makes the speaker seems like that he is an easy to pick on person that doesn't know how to self protect. However as the story developed, we found out that the speaker is not cowardly. He was noting down the names of people who picked on him and would make them pay for it with proper reporting procedure.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say thank you for addressing for what is unfortunately still an issue in for what we call the country for the free! Now don't get me wrong, I love this country, there is just a problem with the people within it. Without getting too much into it, I would like you to know you have done a very well job in addressing the issue and doing it in such a way that did not point out anything specific. What I mean by that is, if anyone thought that Bryson was a black man or the cops were white men, and be truthful to yourself for no one will know your truth, then isn't it sad to realize you know this issue unconsciously to where you instinctively think that because of how accustomed we have become to it in our own home. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying you, whoever is reading this, is a part of the problem, but you know there is one. Anyway, back to Jeremey, very well done sir.-Jasper
ReplyDeleteI really love this piece Jeremy! I think it really appeals to our current issues that this country has been dealing with recently. I really like how you explained the setting and set the mood of the story, it made it seem like something bad was going to happen which made you want to keep reading. This short story really kept me on my feet, and i'm really glad you wrote this. Good Job! :)
ReplyDeleteIts great that you wrote about a topic that is talked so often among society. This story is an accurate representation of social injustices Americans, especially African Americans, face. I could really imagine the whole story going through my head & seeing it. I love the detail Jeremy! Good work ! -Alexis Chiong
ReplyDeleteGreat job in seeking a perspective where the victim does not simply lash out and escalate the situation. Too often we see citizens who hang around to argue and debate with law enforcement and escalate the situation.
ReplyDeleteWow this gave me the chills reading this! This definitely conveyed the injustices going on right now and how unfair the system is. You're description and detail made the story so vivid I really enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteGreat implementation of a controversial topic. Consistently interesting to the end, with some profound points made through the events, well done.
ReplyDeleteI love how just with a change of setting, and character names, your story has a deeper meaning to it. Its a sad reality that we live in today's society, but hopefully things will change for the better.
ReplyDelete-Jordan Lee
I find it extremely interesting that the race of Bryson Miller and the police officers was never mentioned in your story; many people, including myself, automatically assumed that Bryson was an African-American male. Though I have never experienced, or at least I never recognized it when it happened to me, racial discrimination personally, this year alone I have heard and witnessed it too many times. It is truly embarrassing and shameful that the situation in this story happens regularly and that, sometimes, the person involved is not as lucky as Bryson was. Likewise, it is terrible that most attribute the cause of the despicable law enforcement encounter to racial discrimination and profiling which proves how prominent an issue it still is today; despite the presence of visual evidence of acts of police brutality, guilty officers are still being let off easy. I found this piece to be an eye-opener since it brought to light the injustice individuals in today's society face nearly every day and made the reader think of racial discrimination even though race was never brought up in the piece. Great job!
ReplyDelete