Jack Newman was your typical high school student who
dreaded waking up every morning, and sitting through the dull classes he took
in order to graduate high school. There was one class that he just couldn’t
seem to cooperate with—Calculus. Each day, Jack slept through Mr. Sandoval
blabbing about “derivatives,” “parametric equations,” and so forth. But after a
plethora of calls and parent teacher conferences, Jack was informed that if he
fell asleep one more time in class, he would not only fail the class, but also
not reach the total credits required in order to graduate. Naturally, fearing
he would have to spend another year in his school, Jack decides to break his
sleeping habit in class.
On one unusual day, Jack realizes he is asleep and
immediately opens his eyes. “Where is everyone?” Jack examines the room and
finds that it is completely deserted. “Is this a prank? Well, I bet everyone is
outside.” Jack reaches for the door knob, but he can’t. “Where’s the door knob?
Something isn’t right.”
Then, all of a sudden, an ominous noise comes from behind
him. Jack slowly turns around, fearing that a creepy figure lay staring at him.
Fortunately, it was just the wind creeping in through a slit in the window.
“That’s it! The window! I’ll just leave through the window!” Instantly, Jack
runs to the window, props it open, and jumps out through the one-story
building.
As soon as he jumps out, he searches for any signs of
students, teachers, and staff; but oddly enough, his school is vacant. After
about ten minutes, he gives up and reluctantly sits in the field next to the forested
woods. Unexpectedly, a tall, muscular man carrying an unusually large bag,
appears at the front of the forested woods next to the field. Ecstatic, Jack
leaps forward, and chases the man yelling, “Come back here!” as the startled
man ironically runs away from the scrawny teen.
Jack makes his way through the woods, dodging tree
branches and stumps. As he hunts the man down, all Jack can think of is,
“What’s happening? Who is this guy? Why is he running away from me? What’s in
the bag?”
Finally, Jack confronts the man at the edge of a cliff
and mutters with his irregular breathing, “You have… nowhere to run now… so
please… just answer my questions.” However, the unusual man lays his bag down,
and free falls off the cliff. “Wait, NO! Come Back!” Jack dives towards the man
but is too late as he trips over the bag. Not knowing what to do, Jack unzips
the bulky bag, and finds an alarm clock? “RING-RING!” The alarm clock goes
berserk and seems to get louder and louder until Jack falls to the ground and
everything goes black.
Once he opens his eyes, he finds himself in his
classroom, sitting in his seat as the school bell rings. In front of him is his
teacher cross armed, furiously staring right at him.
I love how relatable this story is! Most high school kids have had that one class where it is impossible to stay awake and consequently dose off. I like the way you transitioned between reality and his dream world. I actually believed that something was fishy when the school was vacant but I was caught off guard when I found out all of that was just a dream. The way you used onomatopoeia made me hear the alarm clock ringing and the detail you used help me visualize this scene as if it was a movie: "Slit in the window, tall, muscular man with an unusually large bag. forested woods, etc." If you were to actually create a novel from this, I would imagine that the tall, muscular man would actually be a reoccurring character and that dream he had may actually be something more! Good job!
ReplyDeleteMy goal for this story was to create a story that most students could understand. I'm glad you found it relatable.
DeleteThis made me laugh! I love how this reflected your personality as well, you're so funny and light-hearted all the time, and it really shone through in the ending of this piece.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you found it comical.
DeleteThis piece very accurately represents many people in school who have trouble staying awake in class. Your use of imagery allowed for me to envision the entire setting. I believe that falling asleep is a major part of the problem we students have, and the main cause is sleep deprivation, so I thank you for bringing this subject to mind.
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks for writing out my life story. I like how through your story you showed how even if someone is facing massive consequences, it's still difficult to kill an old habit. I also like the use of irony throughout the piece, how someone isn't watching in classroom but waiting out side, how the person with the greater physique ran and in the conclusion where its all revealed to be a dream. -Austin Webb
ReplyDeleteTo be completely honest, you were my inspiration for this short story! But, anyways, thank you for reading carefully and analyzing the ironic elements I purposely incorporated.
DeleteThis was extremely hilarious because I totally understand jack's issue with calculus especially with your selected diction it truly made it more precise. In fact I also enjoyed how the story although switched settings came together perfectly towards the end to show a comedic yet ironic situation.
ReplyDeleteA small confession: when I [to use a more genteel term, make water], I often wonder whether I'm really asleep in class and wetting myself.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, that would seem to be slightly better compared to the misfortune our hapless Jack had to go through - but only slightly.
But, all interdimensional classroom nightmares and Freudian fancies aside, this was an amusing read. And while perhaps it still retains too much coherency for a dream (at least for mine), I think you've captured the surreal qualia of dreaming well with Jack's impulsive, random decision to jump out of the window or chase after the man (for we know in dreams, we are often compelled by unexplainable and arbitrary urges), and the equally nonsensical twist in finding the clock in the bag.
Well, Good job!
This is a great story because I have fallen asleep in class multiple times, I actually did today in anatomy. It was written and easy to follow. It is an entertaining and relatable story. Great Work!
ReplyDelete-Kazmyr Collins
To be honest, why is this story relatable in every single level, "Mr. Sandoval" also makes me fall to sleep during the drab lessons about derivatives. I liked the slow transitions of reality to the dream world, and how you provide subtile hints of incongruity, and with the final line being the conclusive statement. Almost every student can relate to this piece, because most high school students dream off from the horrors of "Calculus."
ReplyDeleteI've never fallen asleep in class, but learning math makes me really tired. There's just too many numbers! Anyways, I like how you chose calculus to base your story on because I can definitely sympathize with Jack. The story itself is really well written and the dream sequence is really creative. Overall, great job!
ReplyDelete-Christopher Kerwin
You definitel addressed an issue that I think is a problem for many students. Falling asleep in class can cause a student to get behind and unfocused from being so tired. i know from personal experience and it does have its consequences at times.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, can relate to Jack's struggle of staying awake in his calculus class since calculus is my first period class; I struggle everyday to stay alert enough to understand what is being taught to us. When you mentioned parametric equations, I cringed a little. I found Jack's dream to be pretty funny, especially the part about him following the rather formidable and suspicious man; it sort of turned into one of those moments where the reader is silently whispering "no! Don't do it," when the character is about to do something audacious. Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this story on many levels. There are just those days were we need to escape the routine repetition of our lives as students. I appreciate the obscurity and irony of this poem and how our dreams can take us to many scenarios we would not realistically expect. - Nwojo Abba
ReplyDeleteWow, Jake's story is relatable in so many ways! The struggle is honestly real in Calculus with all these derivatives. But this story was great! The plot was very interesting and I was engaged throughout the entire story. Your idea to set Jake in a dream full of anxiety because he is so anxious about not falling asleep in order to graduate was a good idea and kept the story interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteAs a high school student, I'm sure many of us find this extremely relatable. The low amounts of sleep we get along with the often boring lectures lead to many of us dozing off. I will assume that this also carries a more significant feeling in that, while Jack is asleep, his true mentality slips and reveals how alone students can feel amidst all the stress that school can bring. Great piece that was easy to connect to!
ReplyDelete