Carnival to Mexico
I remembered they day I got out of school for summer break it was
2010 , and once I got home I had to pack my bags because where going on a
cruise called Carnival to Mexico. It was the first time my brother and I were
going to Mexico. That afternoon we were all I the truck plus my uncle because
he was going to drop us off at the long beach port. Were we would leave for are
five day trip through the Pacific Ocean. We would take two days get there, one
day to stay at Mexico and two days to get back. The first my family and I spent
on the ship was amazing. The first thing my brother and I did was find are room
change in to are swimming shorts and run to the swimming pool we jumped into
the pool and some of the water got in my mouth. I looked at my brother and he
was looking at me and by his face he tasted the water to. We got out of the
pool around mid-afternoon and walked to the land got lounge and got ice cream
“unlimited J”
on the way back to our room to shower and get ready for dinner I overheard a
group of people saying that the noticed the water was ocean water . The next
day we when we got ready to go eat breakfast on the balcony enjoying the view
and actually see a small group of dolphins jumping out of the water. In the afternoon
we went to the top deck where they had ping pong mini golf and a track to get
some exercise in. I meet an aquatint which we played basketball, swam in the
pool, and took a break by getting more ice cream. The next day I was looking
for him on the pool deck only to find out that he was sick. Luckily that day we
got to Baha California, Mexico. Once we got off the ship we got on a tourist
bus to the Bufadora in English the blow hole. Where water would shot up into
the air because the water forced out through a hole. While we were e there we
got a Pina colada “virgin” of course but, it was the best one I’ve ever had. On
the way back to the ship I saw little kids working for money because they were
really poor. Once we got on the ship and were on are way back. We ate lobster
tail for dinner, when the guy asked me what wanted to drink I asked for a Pina
colada but it didn’t taste the same :(. The next day we were packing up most of
our stuff because we were going to arrive at long beach port once again to go
back home. Before we got off I ran to get some more ice cream “haha” :). When
my uncle came to pick us up and we were on are way back to the house my
grandparents ask what we learned from Mexico, I said “to be grateful for what
we had because a lot of kids didn’t have anything” THE END! J
I use smiley faces all the time and this definitely seems like an appropriate application of them. I think the presence of the lil emoticons really adds something natural and relatable to this piece. Great job :)
ReplyDeleteikr thanks
DeleteYou have some misspelled words but overall good job! I want to go on a cruise to Mexico! :)
ReplyDeleteops ha-ha sorry about that thanks you should go on a cruise to Mexico it is such an amazing experience .
DeleteThat was quite a summer experience you had there! It sounded very fun, this passage made me want to fast forward through this semester and straight to summer vacation. Great Job, with the recollection of events, however my one piece of advice is, try to refrain from adding emoticons to your passages because it can be a little distracting sometimes. But great job!
ReplyDeletealright thank you !
DeleteTill this day I haven't went on a cruise before!! I'm still waiting, but it seems like you enjoyed yourself. This was a great story and I'm glad you learned a valuable lesson concerning gratefulness. Muy Bueno!
ReplyDeleteGracias !
DeleteI liked that you added a life lesson. However, there were grammatical errors in your work that kind of threw me off. Instead of have a piece of writing that flowed easily, it had those sudden ubrupt phrases. Overall this was quite cute and fun. Thank you for sharing your work.
ReplyDeletethank you ! :)
DeleteIt is a good application of a good message.
ReplyDeletethank you !
DeleteI really enjoyed reading this piece because you were descriptive on what you did during your stay at Mexico and just from providing a lot of detail, I can tell this trip was a blast for you because not only were you with your family, but you also learned that not everyone is as fortunate as others. Great job, Elijah.
ReplyDeleteI would like to go to mexico now because it sounds like fun and great job.
ReplyDeleteYou explained everything that you did on the cruise really well and seemed like you had a good time while traveling to Mexico. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGreat Job. Your story has influenced me to go on a cruise. I have never been on them. You did a good job reminiscing on all of the events. I hope you over the next four years grow in your writing!
ReplyDeletepretty good story about taveling! i like your implication of a lesson keep working!
ReplyDeletealthough you have a few misspelled words here and there i did enjoy reading this piece alot and im really jealous i want to go to mexico
ReplyDeletepretty good story about taveling! i like your implication of a lesson keep working!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool place to go, a great story overall.
ReplyDeleteFew misspelled words. However, really cool that you shared a little bit of your vacation. Nice message at the end, its important that we remember not to take things for granted. Good job.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! This reminds me of a cruise I took around then too! I wonder if we were on the same ship, haha! Anyway, great description of your trip. Nice job adding a moral message at the end to tie your experience together.
ReplyDeleteYou have some misspelled words and also try not to use smiley faces in your story, overall Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI liked the details you included in your work. I also liked how you managed to tie a lesson of life into it in the end as well. You could improve your grammar in some places because there were points where I was confused, but good job! The emotes were a cute touch, made it more personal haha.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this because I also went on the Carnival Cruise to Mexico. The unlimited ice cream and 24 hr pizza was surprising to me. Every night I would always get ice cream. This was one of those bonding times with my family.
ReplyDelete-Jerico M. G. Franco
I love traveling :) thank you very much !
ReplyDeleteI liked how you talked about only positive events in the trip and how you loved it more when you were with your family.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really nice story! There are two things that threw me off a little though. You have spelling errors here and there, and a few sentences that didn't exactly make sense to me. But i do love the story, and i really like the message that was put into this!
ReplyDeleteAside from a few grammatical errors, the story was very nice. It was very fun to read, thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I haven't been on a cruise ship before but I have gone to Mexico. I also saw a lot of kids working because they didn't have enough money. Loved the last sentence, it touched my heart. the only thing that I would say is that you had a lot of misspelled words and not enough commas and words out of order. But over all Great job.
ReplyDeleteVery nice story! It was great that you learned to be grateful for what you have.
ReplyDeleteThought your imagery was really good and sounds like an amazing expierence
ReplyDeleteIt will be useful to reread your work, small grammar errors here and there. But it could be a way to convey how you were vacationing hard.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you had a really great time on your cruise. There were some mistakes with grammar but overall I really enjoyed reading your experience over summer.
ReplyDeleteWow looks like you had a lot of fun :) but overall i really liked the message
ReplyDeleteat the end Good job!
I'm glad that you had a great time on your cruise. Cruises are so much fun. I'm even more glad that you learned something from it because most people just ignore those kinds of things. Good job.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you had an amazing time :) I liked the message at the end
ReplyDeleteoverall great job!!
Sounds like this trip really made an impression on you. You remembered every detail! I enjoy cruises too, but I am glad that even with all the frivolity, you were able to empathize with the poor kids trying to survive.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for writing about your traveling experiences. After my few years of traveling I realized how important it is to write about the things you experience in life. "Life is one's journey through life" I always say.
ReplyDeleteI like how well you described everything, it gave me a lot of imagery. It was nice to interpret your vacation, and I loved the message at the end! It was really nice to know that from one vacation you realized how unfortunate others can be. Good job. :)
ReplyDeleteThis really sounds like fun, i never thought about visiting Mexico but i am now. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very well written, I loved how u shared your experience on your cruise great job!!
ReplyDeleteMexico is a wonderful place to vacation at glad you loved it because I know I loved going to Mexico every summer. Also nice imagery it made me feel as if I was there. Great job
ReplyDeleteThat sounds fun to go on a cruise to Mexico! Your story was great though you had some typos but overall Great job!
ReplyDeletesounds like a lot of fun! i really like how descriptive you were. I really like this story.
ReplyDeleteReally liked the imagery in this story. Good job.
ReplyDeleteahhah sounds so fun, next time I coming...... ok
ReplyDeletehaha
DeleteThis sounds like a really good time. The imagery was very nice. It made me wish I was there.
ReplyDeleteI have never been on a cruise, but from your perspective it sounds like a lot of fun and lots of bonding time with the family. I would imagine you were very grateful for taking this trip because it is true not many people can take these amazing vacations.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice. I haven't been to the Mexico before but it sounds nice from your description. Well at least the area you enjoyed. Thanks for the insight. The last sentence is very true many places around the world, sourtout Indonesia. I came from a life of poverty so I really do appreciate what I have right now.
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in this story was great i felt like i was actually there hope i can visit mexico one day.
ReplyDeleteI never been to Mexico before but it sounds like fun! I like how you described everything
ReplyDeletethis was very interesting and I almost felt like I was there with you. what an amazing trip. I would love to go on a cruise like this one day. Im much considering it now. great - Lauren Weimer
ReplyDeleteGlad you had an amazing experience at Mexico love the descriptive words
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used the ice cream as a motif, implying that you must really like ice cream.
ReplyDeleteGreat job I love hearing stories about other individuals travels !!
ReplyDeletethis is so cute! it seems like you had a lot of fun and i loved the use of emoticons! you did a lovely job writing this! good job :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a wonderful time and I like how you incorporated a life lesson within your adventure.
ReplyDeletethis sounds like you had a really great time! good job on explaining in detail of what you did in mexico :)
ReplyDeletei really like how descriptive this story is
ReplyDeleteYou had a few spelling/grammar errors, but overall I liked the story and the message you added at the end! Good job.
ReplyDeleteLife lessons are always nice and this was no exception!!:D
ReplyDeletelol you made mexico sound real fun ,i hope to go there now , but its a good story i like it .
ReplyDelete-bryan sung
I love cruises and haven't been on one for a while but this piece made want to go on one again ASAP. Good job
ReplyDeleteA few spelling errors but LOVED the story (:
ReplyDelete- Ian Mendoza
This was great! I had a similar experience actually a few years ago on my trip to mexico. Brought back good memories. I like the descriptive language. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteYour cruise sounds like it was a lot of fun! Travelling to different places is always great because we are able to experience other cultures, allowing us to learn more about the world. Good job on turning a nice vacation into a lesson for yourself as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting account of different cultures; I've never read anything like this before! Keep writing!!
ReplyDeleteI've been to Mexico also. I, too enjoy traveling over there.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really fun story to hear and you did a great job of telling it! And thanks for teaching an important lesson, Nice job
ReplyDelete- Devon Iverson
I like how you wrote about a personal experience, there was a really nice flow to your piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteYou probably should have gone over it just so you could get rid of the small grammatical errors but besides that it seems like an interesting memory. Great work.
ReplyDeleteThis trip sounded like all around fun. The story was good overall but there were a couple of grammatical errors here and there.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story on your experience and fun as well as observing the people around us and your lesson from going on a cruise to Mexico. Although you did have many miswritten words and your thoughts weren't in order.
ReplyDeleteI went on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico when I was nine. This reminded me of that experience and brought many great memories back. I enjoyed how you tied your overall experience to a theme of humility and gratefulness. Sometimes we have to see what we don't have in order to appreciate what we do. Good job :)
ReplyDelete