Cynthia and Kathleen were
two ordinary girls who lived in Maine. They both went to school at Falmouth
high school. At that school there are lots of different people. One day Cynthia
and Kathleen were walking to the entrance of their school when they saw Zack a
new kid at their high school. Cynthia and Kathleen instantly fell into his
spell. Obviously when they were looking at him he turned and looked at Cynthia.
Cynthia waved at him and he waved back. The bell rang so Cynthia and Kathleen
went to class. At their surprise, they saw the new kid there. Cynthia was more
surprised because he was sitting right next to her. She took a seat and
Kathleen took a seat in the back where she normally sits. That’s when Mr.
Guzman walked into the class.
“Good Morning class. Good
Morning Mr. Guzman. So, I have some announcements. First of all I would like to
present a new student that is in our class.” Then Mr. Guzman looked at the new
kid. Would you like to come in front of the class and introduce yourself? The
kid just smiled and walked to the front. Hi everyone, my name is Zack and I
just moved here from California. That’s all he said and he took a seat again.
At that moment Cynthia jumped in and introduced herself to him. At that moment
they both knew that they were going to be best friends.
Two months passed by and
Cynthia and Zack were finally dating. But Kathleen angered in jealousy. She
didn’t know what to do because she also liked him. Then she remembered that
Cynthia and she looked exactly alike because they were twins. So to her
advantage she could get close to Zack and trick him into believing that she was
Cynthia. But she had to do something to her sister. She had to get her sister out of the way so
that Zack will be only for her and no one else. So anyway Cynthia and Zack were
having the best time of their lives when suddenly Cynthia got a call from her
sister saying that she had a surprise for her and to meet her at their secret
hiding place in the forest. Cynthia said bye to Zack and left. Cynthia arrived
at the forest and was looking for Kathleen. All of a sudden Kathleen came from
behind and hit her on the head with a shovel. Cynthia fell down to the ground.
Kathleen stared at Cynthia’s unresponsive body with her hatred look on her
face. Her words, “It’s time for my happiness to arise!”
Well I can honestly say that I was not expecting that ending. When this piece first started off, I thought to myself "Oh God, please, not another Teen Romance piece," but as I read further I began to wonder about what was going to happen between the sisters. It was almost like an episode of Pretty Little Liars, great job with the shock factor, kudos to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! There will be more:)
DeleteI love that you set this story in Maine. My grandparents currently live in Pemaquid, just a few miles away from the lighthouse. I think it would have benefited the story to describe Falmouth in greater detail seeing how it is such a beautiful place. And whoa! Talk about a plot twist at the end there, eh? I really enjoyed your story.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!:) I will figure out a way to add more detail of Falmouth in the next part:)
Deletei like the setting of the story good job!
ReplyDeleteDespite some errors, you turned a typical experience into a great piece worth reading. Good job.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was very interesting. Something I'd watch a movie about. Haha, I like the way you progressed the plot and how it came all into one. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! From the names to the ending, everything is random but make sense. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteAt first, this reminded me of a play I wrote in fifth grade, but then it took such a surprising twist at the end. I can't imagine what kind of friends Cynthia and Kathleen really were,
ReplyDeleteGood job!
Some phrases you could reword better and add clarity such as when you added the word "Obviously" I got a little confused on what made it "obvious". But other than that I really liked how you changed a boring, typical teen romance thing into a psychological, mind-breaking story with that twist.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a crazy twin! Haha! This was a very interesting and unique story! I really enjoyed your creativity. Nice job.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Waitman
I was totally into this story. It was creepy but very interesting. Great job with the overall setting and the plot twist. Definitely didn't see that coming.
ReplyDeleteomgeeeee i can't believe you twisted the story like that! It was totally unexpected. Your story actually reminds me of a mixture of Pretty Little Liars, the best show ever, and a movie I just watched, Double Marriage. This was great, I loved it, especially the ending.
ReplyDeleteWOAH! That was such a plot twist and i love every second of this piece. I'm glad that this wasn't a typical teenage romance and it's happily ever after. I like the setting to this piece. You did an awesome job! This is a piece worth reading !
ReplyDeleteWoah that was intense. Jealousy can really get people to do crazy things! Nice!!
ReplyDeleteThe ending....I was not expecting the ending at all. But this was overall a very interesting story to read, great job!
ReplyDelete