After all this time, it just doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe...--Nadia

My name is Asami. I am nothing special, just your average 18 year­old. Always stressed out about school and just wanting some adventure in life. I guess going off to college will be the most exciting adventure that I have been searching for. It’s 5 pm and I am packing up last minute miscellaneous items in my car before I take off and take the 5 hour drive up to my future school, Stanford. As the sound of my heart pounding in my chest floods from all the anxiety floods my mind, I scan through my checklist in my head to make sure that I have everything I need. My mom and dad keep repeating “Remember to call us when you take rests.” “Don’t take rest stops in isolated areas.” “Keep your phone charged.” “Call us every half­hour.” I take a deep breath, trying to relax and put my anxiety aside. I look both my mom and dad in the eye. “Mom, Dad, I will be fine, don’t worry. You guys act like you’re never going to hear from me again.” I give my sister a long hug, followed by my brother, my dad, and then my mom. My mom looks me straight in the eye, her eyes glittering from all the tears of mixed emotions that filled them. “Are you sure you can’t wait until tomorrow morning? It would be safer. With all the traffic and the breaks you’ll take along the way, you won’t get there till 11 earliest.” I think about it a minute and decide that it’s my time to go. “Mom, I have to go now. There’s nothing to worry about. I will get there in no time. Relax.” I put on my sweater, sit down in my car, turn on the engine, and reverse out of the driveway. I take a long look back and capture the image of my family standing in front of my house, waving and wearing the saddest smiles on their faces. I look back at my mom and still see that same look of uncertainty in her eyes. I give her a reassuring smile and start driving to my new home.
I decide that I will take PCH all the way up to Stanford so that I can enjoy the view of the ocean and the trees. To pass time by in traffic driving west, I listen to Drake’s new album and in no time, I made it to PCH in time for the sunset. I drive along the coast and see the crest of the sun hiding just above the shore, the sky a beautiful array of colors. Purple, red, pink, orange, blue. The ocean looks the most beautiful royal blue with a shimmer of sunset orange skimming across the waves. I take in the scenery around me and decide to call my mom. It goes to voicemail, so I leave a message. “Hey mom, I’m fine, I’m not tired yet so I’m going to drive a bit longer. I wish you could see this sunset. It looks like I am staring straight into the gates of Heaven. It is so beautiful. I’ll see you soon. Bye.” I put down my phone and glance up to see my headlights on a person standing in the middle of the road, hooded so that it was covering their face, their jeans torn and blood all over. “OH MY GOD.” I blast the horn and swerve the steering wheel, making my car spin out and crash into the huge trees on my right.
I wake up after God knows how long and feel my head heavy on my shoulders. I look around and see my headlights shining bright into the forest and my windshield completely shattered. I put my hand to my forehead and feel the blood streaming down my face. “Damn it.” I get out and inspect my car. There’s no way I’m getting to Stanford tonight. I grab my phone just to see it completely shattered. I did everything that Mom and Dad said not to do, good job Asami. I look around the lonely road and see no sign of the idiotic creep that was standing in the middle of the road. I walk down the road until I see a small Subway. I walk in and order a meal.

The lady taking my order doesn’t look at me in a funny way or ask what happened to me. I figure that maybe I don’t look as bad as I thought. I sit down and look out the window. I see hooded person standing a couple feet away. I rub my eyes and look back. Mystery Freak wasn’t there. “I’m just seeing things, I was just in an accident,” I think to myself. I go to the restroom to wash my face. I look in the mirror and see the blood all over my face, sweater, and jeans. Basically, I look horrid and I don’t understand how the Subway employee didn’t question how beat up I look. I rinse my face, look in the mirror, and see Mystery Freak behind me. I scream and fall down to my knees. The Subway lady runs in, asking if everything is okay. I try explaining everything that just happened and she stares at me as if I’m some psychopath. I walk out of the bathroom, take my sandwich, and go to the telephone booth outside and immediately call my mom. “Hey Mom!­­” I get cut off. “Sorry who is this?” Some woman picked up the phone. “Where is my mom? Where’s Jasmine?” She said, “I’m sorry, I’m her neighbor. She got a call from the police. Her daughter Asami, so I guess your sister, was killed in a car crash. Your dad is on his way to the scene and­­” I dropped the phone. After all this time, it just doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe... that I am dead. 

May Featured Writers

This is our last batch of featured writers for the 2015-2016 school year.  I truly hope you have enjoyed our classroom literary blog.  I am a little saddened that this is the last entry, but please know that since this is a live blog, you can visit anytime.  Past submissions have been archived.  So feel free to come back and read the pieces.

For this last assignment, please read ALL entries.  There are fourteen of them this month.  Choose your favorite three and leave helpful and thoughtful feedback and comments.

May writers--you can leave comments for two other pieces than your own OR you can respond to your blog entry comments (the ones left by your peers).  Respond to at least two or as many as you wish.

This last assignment is due Monday, May 16.

Class of 2016,

It truly has been a pleasure to have you in my class for this year.  I am humbled, as I am every year, by the sheer blend of genius, maturity, stress, laughter, tears and thrill that each one of you bring to my career as a teacher.  I learn so much each year from all of you and I look forward to witness what the future has in store for you.

Keep writing.  Keep reading.  Keep thinking.  Keep questioning.

Do your best!!!

And always Feed Your Soul!!!!

All my love,

Mrs. Solano

The Abstract Idea of Life as a Delicious Cake--Christopher

If you’ve ever ventured into a bakery, you’ve likely witnessed the
splendor of a cake. Rotund, bouncing in the light, seemingly begging to
propel itself into your mouth-hole, cake is a beautiful temptress. But cake is
so much more than a delectable, tantalizing, sweet goodie. Cake will slap
you in the face until you like getting slapped. Cake never gives up, cake
never surrenders.
Life is a cake. Just as Jay-Z said “One hundred million, that’s a pound
cake. Cake, cake cake cake cake.” He must know what he’s talking about,
because he married Beyonce. Cake is everywhere. It’s all around us. But, in a
world filled with cake, not only do we enjoy the succulent, sweet benefits,
but also the sticky residue. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. After
you eat your cake, you’ll probably feel guilty. Not the kind of guilt when
you’ve been caught doing something wrong by your parents, but the kind of
deep self loathing a man feels when he walks past a mirror with his shirt off,
tips of his nipples coated in icing, saying “This is the last time. Next time,
things will be different. Less messy. Yeah, I definitely won’t get icing on my
nipples next time.” But of course, as we all know, this man will most
definitely sully his nipples with icing once more, repeating the vicious cycle
which we will all succumb to eventually. Suddenly, with this realization, a
world full of cake sounds much less appealing, and yet, it doesn’t matter
how it seems to us. The world simply is filled with cake, and there are no two
ways about it. Should we willingly drown in a sea of baked goods,
relinquishing all hope of redemption to the ungodly forces who filled our
world with nothing but cake ? The answer to that question depends entirely
on you.
Except, it doesn’t depend entirely on you. The true solution lies within
the problem. You see, this cake is actually a layer cake. A lane cake.
Chocolate, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. They thought they could fool us
with two layers of chocolate, but we knew there was something more deep,
deep down. We could always taste it, but we would never acknowledge it.
And so when we take the risk, and we look at cake for what it really is, we’ll
learn that it’s all worth it. Past the icing, there is a greater purpose. A light,
fluffy purpose. The real thing, the raw ingredients, the recipe to life! And I
know it seems grand, maybe a tad farfetched, but nothing rational ever
changed the world, or your life. Grab a fork and dive in.

The Purpose of Existence- Jennifer

                  One’s life is based upon finding satisfaction and fulfillment in different principals and compositions of the world, it’s based upon the morals and values that structure our persona and the forms in which we please the social system that corrupts ones being. The purpose of existence is dependent on the individual vales one beholds through influential figures like family friends or a society that forces our being into finding a stable and concrete definition to our existence. As humans we seek comfortability and prefer like everybody else because of the fear of originality, we seek a world of peace yet don’t act upon it, we seek freedom yet don’t strive to achieve it, we seek a world free of oppression yet are the oppressors, we seek physical and emotional ease in values of religion, success, and love and in that form find our purpose in life. Those with an established religion find peace in the morals created upon it, we hold faith in a divine figure without question or doubt because those of an open mind need not to see to believe in the creations of our creator. As believers we find the purpose of life based on the perfect plan our creator beholds, we don’t alter or rebel to his plans but rather live in ease with our faith. But politically and socially religion is the establishment of morals and set of principles that keep control and order in a population in order to reduce levels of crime and wrongdoing, it is only dependent on which side each induvial believes. Other live to succeed and value their level of success more than any other principle, they find purpose in their existence by holding a high job position, achieving the highest level of education, and becoming successful wealthy figures. We find satisfaction in receiving the best test scores, high grades, and being accepted to an excellent school, yet others don’t seek the same satisfaction, they find it to be unimportant and insignificant to their life, it very much depends on the believer. Those of bigger hearts live to find their perfect match, to form a perfect life with their soulmate and live a life filled of happiness and blessings. As they grow up they create their ideal man or woman and live to meet them, in order to find ease and satisfaction in their life. Those negligent of love care not to find their soulmate and worry more to love objects and nonliving materials, they form their own definition and principals of love, some which may not be accepted by the norms society establishes, since a social acceptance is of a perfect husband or wife that forms a perfect life in such a world. Each person holds their own values and principals and lives their life upon them, finding satisfaction and fulfillment in what they believe is most important in the world, some are fulfilled with all and don’t only hold one objective in life, other find their purpose in life in  single principal they behold. As an induvial one should explore the endless possibilities of the world, and never establish to meet the expectation of society’s norms, live upon your own values and principles in order to find complete happiness in such a chaotic world.

The Curtain is Closing and This Chapter is Ending--Karyna

We’ve all been performing for the past 12 years. We’ve been apart of the performance that is school. For 12 years we’ve been around the same cast members. We’ve seen most of these faces every single day. For 12 years we’ve been writing our book. We’ve been adding paragraph after paragraph of everything we’ve experienced these past 12 years that we’ve been in school.  And in 9 days, the curtain is closing. This chapter of our lives is coming to an end.  And, in some ways, that’s terrifying.

The future is uncertain. Nobody knows what is going to happen. We can hope and make decisions that put us where we want to be, but we don’t know how things are going to play out. That’s the scary thing about life. The uncertainty of it all. For a long time, I would make decisions that kept me from getting hurt in the end. I figured that if I could make decisions that would stop me from getting hurt, then I would be happy. As senior year was coming to an end, I started to distance myself from friendships and relationships that might not last. I don’t do well with people walking away, so if I did the walking away, then it would make everyone feel better. It was irrational thinking, and I know that now. There was one relationship in particular that I started to distance myself from. We had gotten back from spring break and I started to scare myself because I didn’t know where the relationship was going past high school. The more I thought about it, the more I talked myself into walking away. Once I started to do so, they pulled me aside and talked to me about it. They had reassured me about our relationship and how they weren’t going anywhere. That same person sent me a link to a Garth Brooks song titled “The Dance”.  Along with the link they said, “You are so worried about life and the future. I like this song because it reminds us that if we live a life of never getting hurt then we will never get a chance to live. I don’t want you to not live, love, and take chances because you’re afraid of getting hurt because that’s what makes life a journey”. What they said had really hit home. I listened to the lyrics of the song, which wasn’t easy because it’s country, and I almost started crying. What that person had said to me really changed my perspective on things and on life in general. I still find myself getting scared of being hurt, but then I tell myself that it’s apart of life.

I feel like this is an important lesson for all of us to learn, especially with graduation around the corner. We have to enjoy life and everything it entails. The hurt, the love, and the happiness are all what make our life a journey. We have to enjoy every minute of these next 9 days. We are scared of what’s to come because every decision we make is now our own. It’s going to be scary at times, but we have to remind ourselves that the wave will pass and eventually things get better. We have to remind our selves that it’s all part of life. So enjoy the end of senior year and make the best out of it. Stop focusing on the negative and look at the positive. What happens, happens. We have no control on the future so we might as well enjoy the present. Graduation is just the end of a chapter. We still have the rest of the book to write.

Why Love?--Malik

    I had a rough life growing up. My biological mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic. My father served seven years in the military before he was honorably discharged due to injury and other complications. Times were hard and finances were tight. But as a young kid, you do not fully comprehend such complexity, all you want is the love, attention and affection of those around you, especially the ones who you care most about. My mother abused my sister and me, both physically and emotionally. All we wanted was love and attention. When my parents divorced, my mother took custody, only to lead to more abuse, not only from her, but also from her mother. All we wanted was love. One day my mother gave us caffeine around 10:00 at night. Naturally my sister and I were hyper and would not rest to go to sleep. Our mother grew angry, beat me, literally threw me out the house, and locked me out. I was 4 or 5 years old, all I wanted was love. I did not see my mother again for years to come after that night. She abandoned me. She was the reason why I had a heart and she threw it out the door into the years of struggle, loneliness, pain, and emptiness. Since then I have been on the search for love. My father took full custody of my sister and me and gave us love, but it is not the same love that a woman can give. Every girl and woman that has come into my life and that I cared for, I poured my heart out for them, but as the story of my life goes, they find a way out of my life. You see, love is like fireworks. Every special moment means a firework goes off, but as the sparks fly we do not always realize that some hit the ground and ignite a fire. The more fireworks there are, the bigger the fire grows. This fire gives us a warm feeling, so we are not alarmed but rather quite comfortable. When those sparks stop flying, now you are left with the fire to put out in order to start new again. But no matter how hard we try to put those flames out, the ashes and smell of smoke still remain as the reminiscence. Why do we seek love? There is so much emotion, time, and effort thrown into the process. It can be so draining, and all for what? It took me a long time to even get a glimpse of the answer, so I block and withhold my emotions. Why be sad? Why cry? Why feel like someone stole a piece of your heart and now there is a hole, an emptiness? Why risk your emotions in order to find that special person only to discover they are not the one or to have them taken from you? It is quite interesting how such a small four letter word, phrase, can have such a huge impact on our behavior and how we go about living our lives. Maybe, it is that feeling of being there for that person, being their shoulder to cry on, being the reason why they smile every day, having someone to hold or be held by when you are feeling lonely. The levels of emotion involved with love are so strong it becomes addicting, it becomes a necessity to our nature. So despite the pains that may come when the pleasure of the fireworks end, we are willing to take the risks to find that loving emotion again, to satisfy that addiction, that need for some connection and fulfillment. So, is love a complication or sophistication? Is it worth it all in the end? Maybe that is something for you to decide, or for someone else to reveal for you, because sometimes right when we think we figured out what love is and is worth, life happens, and perspectives change. So you decide, why Love? Maybe love is not meant to be for some people, only a tease, an ideology, a dream. Some say I am too young to love and to know what love is. Maybe they are right, but based on the minimal amount of experiences in my life, I define love as I want to define it, as how I feel about it, I only know love on what I have experienced emotionally. Why does society get to determine whether or not I know how to love and be in love? I am just ignorant and naive I guess. Love for me has often lead to pain. I open my heart to love those around me, not realizing how much I have left myself vulnerable to such powerful emotions. Love is beautiful, but all roses crumble and die. I am not depressed, or unstable, but my heart has grown tired of the rollercoaster ride love has taken me through, one with a lot more downs than ups. I am happy with my life, I enjoy my family, my friends, and food, but love is too unstable and unpredictable, all over the place like this piece I am writing... That's it. We love because of its beautiful impact on our hearts and the joy of its unpredictable nature. It is fun. Right? The ups are so exciting that we accept the risks of the downs. Love holds people’s hearts together no matter how far apart. Love causes us to sacrifice our security for those by whom we love. That’s why we love, that’s why I love. I hate the negative but to get another chance of the joy and beauty that love provides is the reason I put myself through the continuous cycle of pain. Love may not be tangible, but we can definitely feel it. That is why Love.

Happiness Minus Society--Melina

Its slow, yet persistent. The process of the mind comprehending the cruel reality of the world. Unfortunately along with the development of  my brain, my heart seems to suffocate. I experienced sadness at a young age. Not that I disagree with the way life has treated me, but in fact I am grateful for all the damage and chaos, along with the laughter and smiles that I have received. It has made me not only a better person, but a more experienced one at that. I learned to trust myself and take responsibility for my actions. Always understanding that everything happens for a reason. As a female, I experienced the way society constantly underestimates me and sets limitations simply because I wear a skirt and not pants. Like the old fashioned mentality of a caged brain, ignorant of gender advancements. Our society runs on the fuel of the poor as the high class advances, while stepping on whomever for more. "The more you have, the more you want." It's the way we are raised and the way we live. As a society we strut the streets looking for our next high, the next opportunity to fulfil what we believe is our purpose. Like an addict always wanted to get a synthetic high, resulting in permanent regret.

Denial is the state of mind that distracts us from accepting the phenomenon occurring in front of us. During this presidential campaign, we are blinded by the fact a woman might become president because we are much too focused on the insanity from a racist rich Republican.

Blinded, we live in constant darkness to what is truly valuable.

This year although coming close to an end is clouded by GPA's and SAT's. My final year of adolescence wasted behind a screen and piles of homework. I feel insane, lost and confused. Although to others it may not matter, I stress in fear for my future. They need it, they EXPECT it from me. I plead to the sky, not for riches or wishes, but for happiness. It's all I ask for. Poor, hungry, homeless, but HAPPY!

As humans our greatest connection is our willingness to feel happy.

 We carry bricks of anxiety and worry like deranged adults, stressed about the future and letting the present pass us by. Life is going to happen, you like it or not. Live day by day knowing that u made a difference. Know that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, it was placed in front of you to learn from it, grow from it! Peruse what you love, don't let money stand in the way of happiness.

It's hard to change the way we are, I know it is.

Then again what's the point of being someone your not?

or living in fear of the unknown? Safety nets are wonderful,

but what's the use if you never test it out?

We settle for comfort.

We would much rather remain in routine, safe.

I don't want to be another victim of routine, I want to explore the world as it is, not through a screen.

I want to riot through the streets, screaming and chanting for the rights we will lose.

I WILL NOT be one of the many, blinded by ignorance and plastic treasure.

I want to be the first star to fall from the sky and create change, not just pretty picture.

I know I will fail, yet I will try.

Now this may not apply to you in particular but it does apply to me so take is as you'd like.

I wrote this to remember why I am working so hard, and why I do what I do. It's a personal note that I decided to share because I know many of us are in the same position, and I know it's hard. So keep in mind although it seems like it's all happening so fast, let's not forget to enjoy our last days of high school and overall never forget why.

For those who wish to check out the continuation of my rampage...

ftwcr.blogspot.com

This is a blog referencing my constant state of mind and I invite you to interact as you wish through comments, emails and any form of communication. I started this blog after watching an old video of my self recorded years ago. In it I explain how unhappy I am and how I want to speak up, yet I felt that I stood alone. With that said, this website is personal and reflects my personal opinions towards multiple subjects. So excuse the improper grammar and punctuation, after all it is a gateway to my mind, not a graded essay. I hope to reach out especially For Those Who Can Relate and Those Who Wish to Understand.