Why Love?--Malik

    I had a rough life growing up. My biological mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic. My father served seven years in the military before he was honorably discharged due to injury and other complications. Times were hard and finances were tight. But as a young kid, you do not fully comprehend such complexity, all you want is the love, attention and affection of those around you, especially the ones who you care most about. My mother abused my sister and me, both physically and emotionally. All we wanted was love and attention. When my parents divorced, my mother took custody, only to lead to more abuse, not only from her, but also from her mother. All we wanted was love. One day my mother gave us caffeine around 10:00 at night. Naturally my sister and I were hyper and would not rest to go to sleep. Our mother grew angry, beat me, literally threw me out the house, and locked me out. I was 4 or 5 years old, all I wanted was love. I did not see my mother again for years to come after that night. She abandoned me. She was the reason why I had a heart and she threw it out the door into the years of struggle, loneliness, pain, and emptiness. Since then I have been on the search for love. My father took full custody of my sister and me and gave us love, but it is not the same love that a woman can give. Every girl and woman that has come into my life and that I cared for, I poured my heart out for them, but as the story of my life goes, they find a way out of my life. You see, love is like fireworks. Every special moment means a firework goes off, but as the sparks fly we do not always realize that some hit the ground and ignite a fire. The more fireworks there are, the bigger the fire grows. This fire gives us a warm feeling, so we are not alarmed but rather quite comfortable. When those sparks stop flying, now you are left with the fire to put out in order to start new again. But no matter how hard we try to put those flames out, the ashes and smell of smoke still remain as the reminiscence. Why do we seek love? There is so much emotion, time, and effort thrown into the process. It can be so draining, and all for what? It took me a long time to even get a glimpse of the answer, so I block and withhold my emotions. Why be sad? Why cry? Why feel like someone stole a piece of your heart and now there is a hole, an emptiness? Why risk your emotions in order to find that special person only to discover they are not the one or to have them taken from you? It is quite interesting how such a small four letter word, phrase, can have such a huge impact on our behavior and how we go about living our lives. Maybe, it is that feeling of being there for that person, being their shoulder to cry on, being the reason why they smile every day, having someone to hold or be held by when you are feeling lonely. The levels of emotion involved with love are so strong it becomes addicting, it becomes a necessity to our nature. So despite the pains that may come when the pleasure of the fireworks end, we are willing to take the risks to find that loving emotion again, to satisfy that addiction, that need for some connection and fulfillment. So, is love a complication or sophistication? Is it worth it all in the end? Maybe that is something for you to decide, or for someone else to reveal for you, because sometimes right when we think we figured out what love is and is worth, life happens, and perspectives change. So you decide, why Love? Maybe love is not meant to be for some people, only a tease, an ideology, a dream. Some say I am too young to love and to know what love is. Maybe they are right, but based on the minimal amount of experiences in my life, I define love as I want to define it, as how I feel about it, I only know love on what I have experienced emotionally. Why does society get to determine whether or not I know how to love and be in love? I am just ignorant and naive I guess. Love for me has often lead to pain. I open my heart to love those around me, not realizing how much I have left myself vulnerable to such powerful emotions. Love is beautiful, but all roses crumble and die. I am not depressed, or unstable, but my heart has grown tired of the rollercoaster ride love has taken me through, one with a lot more downs than ups. I am happy with my life, I enjoy my family, my friends, and food, but love is too unstable and unpredictable, all over the place like this piece I am writing... That's it. We love because of its beautiful impact on our hearts and the joy of its unpredictable nature. It is fun. Right? The ups are so exciting that we accept the risks of the downs. Love holds people’s hearts together no matter how far apart. Love causes us to sacrifice our security for those by whom we love. That’s why we love, that’s why I love. I hate the negative but to get another chance of the joy and beauty that love provides is the reason I put myself through the continuous cycle of pain. Love may not be tangible, but we can definitely feel it. That is why Love.