Endless thoughts over and over, aching in the young boy’s mind. He didn’t know when it would
stop, these thoughts clouded his mind, keeping him from
doing anything else. In math, he
stopped writing and gave in, thinking “Might as well”.
Taking out his phone he typed in “places
to ge—“, stopped mid phrase, the teacher snatched his phone
away telling the young boy “You
won’t need this for now” walking back and putting it in her
desk. The boy sighed and looked
down now trying to re-focus on the assignment. Ten minutes
pass every second seeming like an
eternity, he readies himself to leave class and attempt to
get his phone back. As the bell rings he
stands up and walks over to the brown desk, to the teacher
inputting grades. “Can I please have
my phone back?” he asked. After a few minutes of discussion
she obliges and gives him the
phone saying “Ok, but don’t let me catch you with it out
again.” She hands him the
phone and an idea pops into the boys mind. He grabs the
phone and briskly walks out of the
classroom going to his next class. As he gets into his next
class, English, he sits down next to his
friends. He turns to them asking about their plans when they
leave school. One replying “I’m
going home and taking a nap.” The other starts giving a
speech about what they could do but
won’t and other “philosophical” crap but the boy isn’t
listening let’s be honest. As the lecture
begins the boy begins his journey to the deep subconscious
again thinking of what he could be
doing and where he could be at that moment, ultimately
questioning why is he here. In and out
of thoughts he gives up and decides to give his phone another
try (knowing his teacher does not
care whether he’s on it or not). Scrolling on Instagram then
on Twitter turns his screen off, now
bothered. He notices that there are only twenty more minutes
of class left and his prison/school
life will be over for the day, excitedly he now debates his
next moves when he leaves. For some
reason, it takes him those 20 minutes and the bell rings. He
leaves faster than Road Runner
running from Wild E. Coyote. He hops into his car, a Fiat,
(lol) puts his phone on the aux and sits
for a few minutes, basking in his new freedom, only to
remember what has been keeping him
distracted half the whole day was his stomach. He was
ferociously hungry like how the big bad
wolf was. His goal to get the food, he put his car in drive
and drove out of the student parking
lot. Not knowing where he was going he debated where to get
food. Did he want seafood or
Italian? Soul food or Chinese? The possibilities were
endless and being the indecisive person he
was he decided to go to a food court.
As he walks into the food court, the food heaven, he walks
around like a kid in a toy store, from
all the places to choose but knowing he could only choose
one because of his diet, he sat
intensely thinking. Coming to a conclusion he walked through
the court, eyes on the prize, as he
walks out the food court. Gets back into the car and drives
to a burger joint. Being too lazy to get
out he goes through the drive thru. Greeting him the worker
asks for the order, he replies “Can I
have a hamburger with jalapenos, extra onion and NO mayo.”
He hated mayo. He concluded
with a large fry and to be healthy, green tea. He pulls up
to the pick-up window, hands in the
money, receives his change, handed his drink followed by his
food, happily thanks the worker
and leaves. Now eager to get home, thinking about his food,
he controls himself enough to not
eat it before gets to his house.
Hitting every red stoplight, he saddens and becomes
irritable with the street lights as if was their
personal goal to keep him from eating. He makes it home,
happier than ever goes into the house,
sits down and opens the bag. Seeing his large fries make him
almost cry and the burger at the
bottom. He unwraps the burger looks at it with content and with
much anticipation takes his first
bite. Then his moments of happiness crumble, his whole life
becoming a lie, he looks into the
burger, what does he see? Monstrosity in its purest form.
Mayo. Extra Mayo! With emotions
ranging from anger to sadness he puts the burger down. He
thinks to himself “What have I done
to deserve this?”. Gets up with his fries and goes to his
room. Sad. He sits with his half cup of
fries and contemplates life, turns on his phone ready to
tweet. He types “Life is full of
disappointments.” and prepares to go to sleep at 3:58 in the
afternoon. Last thought of the day
before he goes to sleep.
“Tomorrow is another day”.
I understand the pain of hunger and uncertainty about what the stomach is growling for... I recall with rising anger once upon a time when I found a regular fry among my curly fries and felt completely devastated that I was missing out on another curly fry. That was true disappointment right there and I'll bear distrust for Jack in the Box until the day I die. Anyways, I find this story extremely relatable, like the word of the people. Spectacular.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the hidden humor throughout. Very relatable and very saddening. -Joshua Kidwell
ReplyDeleteI found this so funny, the character was just so antsy to find out that he was only hungry, I understood how even if one isn't in school hunger could be so distracting, so I could definitely relate. Then when he ended up getting extra Mayo and tweeting "Life is full of Disappointments" I loved it, because we see random tweets on twitter everyday and this story give the background story to how one tweet came about. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteThis was a really strong piece i liked it a lot good job.
ReplyDeleteAshley Lowman
I feel. I understand your struggle. Nice work. I can really connect to your piece great job.
ReplyDeleteThat last quote really got to me because it's true "tomorrow is another day". Really well written, good job! - Alyssa Tandoc Per 4
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you "lol'd" at the Fiat. I also enjoyed the vividness of your hunger description and the almost mouth-watering imagery of your impending meal, which made the conclusion all the more climactic. But the optimism of your character, even in the face of such adversity, was truly inspiring.
ReplyDelete-Christopher Trevino
Very inspirational, I enjoyed the whole thing great job, I can tell time was put into this
ReplyDeleteI like how the tone was constant throughout and I liked how relevant your piece was. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAlmost every time these pieces start so intense and deep it ends up being about food but that's real life. All I think about in class is food, you portrayed the struggle well. Good job
ReplyDeleteThis is so relateble Emmanuel. I love how you highlighted how much something little like looking forward to food after school can make our day amazimg or extra mayo when we asked for no mayo make our day suck. Too real and hilarious and īnspiring by ending it with the thought of another day.
ReplyDeleteThis is honestly a high schooler's usual day, so really, all of us can relate to it. That little line of optimism at the end, following the endless unfortunate events, was a really crisp way to end your story. All we can do really is just hope for a better tomorrow. Great job.
ReplyDelete- Sam Nugroho
I couldn't help but laugh of course I think about school how just sit there wishing it was over to eat, this piece is easy to relate to you, and I loved the way you structured it out. Good job !
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but laugh of course I think about school how just sit there wishing it was over to eat, this piece is easy to relate to you, and I loved the way you structured it out. Good job !
ReplyDeleteyou have a great talent of making your audience feel every word through story. This was all really well written, I loved it.
ReplyDelete-Nahome Woldearegay
I enjoyed this piece it was really funny and I like how the character is overly dramatic, it adds to the humor. I really felt his pain when his life was ruined with that mayo in his burger. Nice job!
ReplyDelete-Kathlyn Juarez
Personally, I love mayo in my burger, but it may not be everyone's favorite. When beginning to read this I thought it was going to be some sort of deep psychological piece, nope I was wrong. However is extremely relatable to all people. For me it would biting into a piece of KFC and finding that it was completely raw, at the age of 7, I just stopped eating KFC. Good piece and it works well as a conversation starter. -Brian Rojas
ReplyDeleteSolid piece, I really appreciate the spacing on the document.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh your story was so funny. I feel this connects to a lot of people our age because we are subconsciously thinking about what we could eat or how hungry we are and many thing like that. Your story accuratley displayed most of our absurd routines and was a great comedy.
ReplyDeleteWhat a string piece. Very interesting story with an attractive style
ReplyDeleteLol at the ending result of the story something I can relate to aha but I really enjoyed reading your piece nice job
ReplyDeletei really like this piece very deep and detailed. -Janier Ajila
ReplyDeleteI guess there's more to humble tweets than I thought. Now I'm gonna start over-analyzing every random tweet now, thanks...
ReplyDelete