My friend Kyle and I went on a big adventure that led us to find out the truth about Kyle’s
brother. We were both 17 and each summer we would hang out it was our “tradition” since we
were 10. Each summer we would go on adventures, and each adventure had a meaning behind
it. Kyle had a brother who was 21 when we were 17. His brother lived in San Francisco and Kyle
and his brother rarely talked since his brother had moved. So Kyle was always worrying about
his brother wondering if he is okay and safe. So it was the second week into summer break and
Kyle comes up with a plan to go to San Francisco and see how his brother is doing, hang out
and “catch up “ with him. He had said we should go for a week and I was hesitant at first, but
then Kyle tells me how he has enough money for a week for both of us. After two hours of
persuading me I agree that we should go. I tell my parents I'm going on a beach trip with my
friends. On June 15 I pack up all of my stuff and I meet Kyle at a park nearby my house. We
lived in LA so we were thinking it would take us 78
hours to get to San Francisco. It was around
7:00 pm when we left. We knew it would be a long trip, so we stopped at a gas station for some
coffee and lots of energy drinks to keep ourselves awake. We had gotten there at around 4:00
am. We had gotten a hotel room and went to sleep we woke up the next day at about 10:15 am.
After rethinking the choice we had made we decided to wait a couple days to see Kyle’s brother.
Kyle had told me he was nervous and scared to meet his brother, because he hadn't seen his
brother in a long time. Kyle had this image of his brother being so successful and an amazing
guy. I didn't want Kyle to have high expectations even if it is true, but I didn't want him to be
disappointed if it wasn't true. We had gotten there on Friday and it was Wednesday when Kyle
was “strong enough” to see his brother. We had gotten to his front door step of Kyle’s brothers
apartment and Kyle is all dressed up and ready to see his brother. Kyle's brother was a mess
and Kyle's idea of his brother was completely destroyed. Kyle starts bursting into tears and he
tells me to come with him to the car. We drove back to the hotel got all of our stuff and drove
home without saying much. After that night Kyle had changed. Whenever I try to talk to him
about it he changes the subject. Kyle hasn't really been the same since the summer of 2010.
I'm surprised your parents let you out for all that time HAHA but cool story I liked it
ReplyDeleteWow you guys are very daring haha! Really nice story with, indeed, a meaning behind it.
ReplyDelete~ Gregory Gomez
Great story! I really enjoyed the detail description of the journey and the overall story, but I feel like the meeting with the brother could have been described in depth. The meeting was a bit sudden, and I was hoping for a more detailed and emotion filled image. Overall great job!
ReplyDelete-Jerelle Medina period 3
This was a great story. I really enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteCool story! Road trips are my favorite so I enjoyed reading about one! Good job!
ReplyDelete-Marissa Putrick
Your story was very interesting, but it needs some work. Overall your story was great and had a lot of details, but at the same it also lacked some. The ending felt rushed, as an audience we know that Kyle's brother was a mess but go a bit deeper in that description. Your story was great and had a good flow. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteGood job Julissa i love it
ReplyDeleteAshley Lowman
I really liked your attention to detail such as the specific times the characters did everything. I think it does a good job of adding suspense to the moment when they meet the brother & are disappointed.
ReplyDeleteGood job :)
That was an interesting story, I really enjoyed reading it
ReplyDeleteNice story. Really enjoyed reading it. Nice Job.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you were very descriptive and included dates and time, it made it much more realistic and understanding as you described the summer experience of the characters.
ReplyDeleteHow sad. Seeing his brother again changed him forever. Very well written, interesting topic.
ReplyDeleteI wanted you to delve into detail a little more on some parts, but great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is cute, if only it had a happy ending. I like the characters spontaneity and how the whole story builds up to reflect back to the title and how Kyle hasn't been the same since "The Summer of 2010". Nice job!- Aileen Munoz
ReplyDeleteThis was a really great story! it seems that you have a really interesting life but im really sorry about his brother but tell him to not be so affected by something he cant help
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting read, and a more interesting memory. Great Job!
ReplyDelete-Maddie Alegria
Such a great story, very adventorous and daring, you provided great detail and the shock with the brother was great maybe just add a little here and there but overall it was a great read!
ReplyDelete-Meghan Ustrell
First off I aspire to have as spontaneous a lifestyle as you lol. Great narrative and I hope things work out for Kyle, we don't get to choose our family.
ReplyDelete-Reymie Morris
The description in the story helped paint a picture and follow along with the journey you and kyle took. This narrative was nicely organized but I do wish the ending wasn't so rush.
ReplyDeleteYour story was great! I loved reading it!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great and very interesting work. I especially loved how you wrote it. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting little story, it's sad about the character Kyle's brother though but I liked how the two characters in the story were adventurous.
ReplyDelete-Celeste Martinez
This made me upset. I didn't think the story would end that way. It flowed well but the words felt a bit repetitive.
ReplyDeleteWow very interesting story I really enjoyed the entertainment of the story itself with so much going on very well descriptions good job on your piece
ReplyDeleteOverall I really liked this piece, I think you could have maybe added even more detail, but either way I liked the suspense leading up to Kyle seeing his brother.-Allyssa F
ReplyDeleteI liked how this can relate to life and how our exceptions are rarely the same as the reality, such as real High School and High School Musical.
ReplyDeleteso many great details which added to making this story so great! nice job.
ReplyDeleteGreat work! The climax of it all was very sudden, which was something I didn't expect. Moralistically, I understood this work as reminding us to be cautious of our expectations and to not always jump "head first" into things.
ReplyDeleteThis type of narrative made me really nostalgic, because I totally used to imagine fun stories and adventures like this with my friends when I was younger. I always created plot lines that I knew would never happen to little ol' 9 year old me, but it was still totally exciting. Good job, keep working on your syntax and diction!
ReplyDeleteThis story really seems like it could be the beginning of a book of two friends who end up overcoming internal obstacles while also dealing with difficult, real life circumstances too, ending with an overall growth in friendship and self awareness. It would be cool if you continued it! Keep writing! Your utilization of detail and word choice will strengthen.
ReplyDelete- Sam Nugroho
This story had a nice flow but the end seemed to be a little rush, other than that great detail. I loved the story
ReplyDelete-Nahome Woldearegay
Great story! I love road trips as well, its a great tradition!
ReplyDeleteThis story would be even better with extra details, other than that it flowed great and it provided some life advice, don't have high expectations. -Brian Rojas
ReplyDeleteVery descriptive story I loved it great job
ReplyDeleteBobby freeman
Really captivating story all the way through
ReplyDeleteWow! You are very adventurous nd very caring. I liked it
ReplyDeleteInteresting story, a little dark but I loved it and it is really well written
ReplyDeletei like how realistic it was, made it that more interesting, i feel so bad about his brother though.
ReplyDelete-shaniya t
I liked the story, but it could have used a little more descriptive detail. It would have enticed the audience more and help with imagining a more vivid scenario. - Kouleen Morales
ReplyDeleteGreat story, I enjoyed reading it. It's super cool that your parents let you go on a beach trip with your friends (my parents wouldn't let me do that lol)
ReplyDelete-Sirikanya boonyanant
Your story was great! All it needs is a little tidying up. The meeting felt rushed and it could have used a little more description. Maybe a conversation between the boy and his bother. But overall, great story :)
ReplyDelete-Karyna G
Nice story but I wish there could have been more of a development. Like..what exactly do you mean by his brother being a mess? Overall nice job.
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed reading this article, great job! -Janier Ajila
ReplyDeleteDang I hope this is what my summer will be like soon enough, just cute little adventures! Now you got me all excited for these next few weeks lol.
ReplyDeleteNice piece you should add some more detail next time. Good Work!
ReplyDelete