The Tree-Naeomi

6:00a.m. the alarm rings as I hop out of bed with a smile on my face. The music blasts as I comb my hair and brush my teeth, you know the routine. I dance of joy as I make my way downstairs to start breakfast. 7:07 a.m. sharp I hop into my car and drive off to heaven, aka Hesperia High School. Every morning was slightly similar, I pull into the parking lot the same time as my beloved, and until the bell rang we laughed and exchanged smiles as we discovered new music in our cars. We were never apart. I remember being so mesmerized by his beauty that I couldn't help but smile 24/7. Life was such a bliss that even class was enjoyable as long as I was with him. We’d laugh across the room, because with just one look we could read eachother’s minds. As we walked down the halls to the next period, the campus overflowed with positive energy as everyone greeted everyone with smiles. Now all this time was a blast, but my favorite began at 11:51, lunch. I would run to the tree waiting for him. When he got there his eyes would would light up and turn a bright hazel color, he was so happy that his body expressed it externally. Now this tree wasn’t just shade or decor for the school, it was our tree; our safeplace. Laughs to smiles, to every accomplishment was shared under this tree since freshman year. It was my getaway, a place only he and I knew. Time felt like an eternity under there, life slowed down so that I may be loved and learn to love. I will never forget the feeling of just sitting there smiling full of life, content with our little victory of love. All our dreams were made there, all secrets told there, and the beauty of life found there. September 14, 2015 approached, my anniversary with the tree and my beloved. That morning I woke up extra enthusiastic. As I curled my hair I blasted love music to set me in an extra happy mood. However, in the midst of singing my parents walked in, they said we needed to talk urgently. My heart started racing as I began to wonder what could be so important. They told me I would never again attend my paradise, Hesperia High School, for the remainder of my senior year. My state of euphoria vanished. I began helplessly crying and destroying everything around me as if it would help the matter. Devastated, crushed, and internally damaged, I barely survived the next mornings. I woke up with bags around my eyes. My face was flushed with sorrow as my smile vanished. The smell of the morning cheer disappeared. I slugged down the stairs every morning. As I drove off to my new torture I would cry. I was so upset and distressed, I began to shove all my anger at my beloved. Wrapped into confusion and chaos, the spiral out of control began. Each day turned into a sleepless night where a new bottle became empty. As I drove further into hell, a branch or leaf would burn off my tree. The tree was dying just as I was. I felt trapped in the prison of my sorrow. Everyone around was full of joy, but how could I be when all the good in my life ceased. I would run across the room screaming my lungs out, fighting, crying, and praying to go back home. I alone felt this torment. I couldn’t escape myself. Then it hit me. I needed to climb my way out of this dark hole. So I began by regaining consciousness of the person I loved, my old self. I still wanted my tree back, it was all I ever knew. But the tree didn't survive the fire of my hell. The roots weren't deep enough to continue its growth after the damage. So as the tree died so did a piece of my heart. I relentlessly tried to grow it back.. But it wasn't healthy. I begged and begged to replant the tree with him, but he said he found someone new to plant it with. Depression and anger raged within my soul. One day in the midst of crying on my hands and knees for my paradise, I had an epiphany. The tree could no longer be grown in the same spot, the soil was no longer sustainable for good life. So I picked myself up as I gathered my supplies and left on a search for a new place to plant. At first I couldn't accept finding a new tree, but now it excites me. There's more to life and I can't wait to better myself by planting a bigger, better tree. The end.