All of her friends trusted her with their personal
information, from family problems to drinking and parties she knew it all. Even
though they trusted her, she didn’t trust them. She never opened up fully to
her friends but she dropped hints constantly. She forced herself to listen to
everyone’s problems but never spoke of her own because she knew deep inside
that no one would care. “Why would they care?” was a question that was
constantly on her mind, “I don’t really care about their problems.” She walked in
to the classroom everyday putting a smile on the pain that existed inside. There she worked as hard as she could to not
only hide her pain but to make sure that the pain would not be reflected in her
GPA. Those who barely knew her saw her as the nice, smart but quirky girl who
had an attitude and a sarcastic tone when upset with someone. Only one person
knew of some of the demons, the way she really acted and felt and even then her
friend did not know the whole truth. As the monsters inside of her began to
grow larger, her anxiety and depression grew along with them. She made sure;
however, not a single person could figure her out. The monster’s constant
yelling and tugging led her to begin to pull her hair out and even though she
was sure people knew, nobody ever confronted her about it. It eventually got so
bad that she decided to chop it all off. It was that day, the day she thought
she chopped the demons off along with her hair, that she began to regain her
confidence, but that was a mistake because the next day someone she thought she
considered a friend said they didn’t like it. With all of the compliments she
got, the one person saying they didn’t like it tore her down, letting the
monsters regain control. She still heads off to school every day but instead of
wearing a smile she looks at her shoes, when walking through the door. Not a
single one of her friends has asked her why she doesn’t smile anymore. She
continues to listen to her “friends” but instead of being sympathetic, her
responses to their problems are cold and parental. She no longer cares about
the problems of others because the monsters won’t let her; they eat at her
telling her not to think about the lives of others but to think about how
others don’t care, how not a single person has asked why she is now sarcastic
and cold all of the time instead of the happy and quirky girl they grew to
love. She is just so tired, tired and
sad, and she knows that they still won’t ask what’s wrong.
This truly revivals the struggles of many people, because I believe so many people struggle with this pain and but up a front to hide it all. You did a great job showing all the hidden emotions that one goes through that many have no idea about.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kayleigh! I tried really hard to illustrate the way I know a lot of people feel about their relationships with their friends at school. I am really glad that that came through. :)
DeleteI was drawn to this piece because of the intriguing title. It is heartbreaking reading something that I can strongly relate to and have been through, but I love this piece because I have gone through similar things like that and have come out stronger. It is a beautifully written piece; but I just hope that I can help, or someone else can help you be that happy and quirky girl again! Great piece!
ReplyDelete-Gabbie B.
This story is interesting because I feel that many can relate to this story in some way. I can relate to this story to some parts which just made me keep on reading because I feel you have tugged at a subject people know is hard but wont admit too. Good job on writing this and helping us give a sense of the "high school" life.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece, it's so personal which contrasts the meaning of the piece of the girl not telling everyone how she feels. I love the metaphor of chopping off her hair and chopping off her demons. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this piece. I can definitely relate to the loss of interest and care for so called friends. I like how you didn't end it on a positive note because the situation is not positive and in most cases feels never ending.
ReplyDeleteI love this peice!!! It tells us to be cautious about what we say and to who we say it to, because we might not know what's going on in their lives. This is also inspiring to try to become a better friend and to try to notice changes in their attitude so we can offer them a helping when they need one.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so intriguing and so powerful. I can somewhat relate to this. Because of people's inner demon, it stops them from showing their full potential and might even miss an amazing opportunity. It is a hard battle to fight your inner battles but its all worth it at the end. Also, I love how you compared the main character's chopped hair to chopped demons. Overall, amazing job Gabriella!(:
ReplyDeleteI love how you made this piece so intimate with the readers. Some elements of isolation really connected with me from when I moved to Fontana in fourth grade. I loved how there's always that way these kinds of characters attempt to get rid of there problem, in this case the cutting of her hair, but it never truly heals their problems. This was overall a tremendous piece with an important message.
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this, I was thinking to myself if I am somehow one of those "friends". I honestly did not know that you felt that way; however, I can relate to your piece because I also experience this stress and distrust.
ReplyDeleteI was most definitely drawn into the story by the title! Loved the title as much as i did the plot of the story. in my opinion i took the monsters as a symbol for many things! these monsters try to help her face a harsh reality, which in return makes her come out of this shell that also makes her real instead of pretending. and then the friends are so ignorant and caught up in their own lives that they truly didnt care about hers. Love how you tied it all together! great job!
ReplyDeleteReading this makes me think about the list of 25 reasons to read literature because your piece helps put me in the head of the person you're describing and have empathy for someone who feels this way. I like your perspective and the detail you put on her thought process and inner feelings, good job! -Vanessa Lai
ReplyDeleteGaBBy! In some ways, I can relate to some of this person's experience, especially in regards to keeping to myself; not gonna lie, I had to stop several times while reading this because I was so sure that you were writing about me. As a person that tries to be there for my friends whenever they need me, this piece really made me consider how aware I am when I interact with my friends and realize that I need to be more observant in the future, just in case there are some troubled undertones in the conversation. I really appreciate this piece and believe that you are an amazing writer. Fangtastic job!
ReplyDeleteYay, I am glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for your comment. I would say that I a glad that you can relate to my peice, but I actuality I am sorry that you had to deal with emotions and situations like the ones my girl goes through. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Thank you for sharing Jessica :)
DeleteThis piece is amazing. I felt as if I was reading about myself the whole time. It is interesting to see my everyday thoughts written out in words, great job.
ReplyDeleteI love this piece! I don't think that there is another piece that I can relate to more than this one. You did such a great job with showing all of her emotions through your writing.
ReplyDeleteThis piece exemplifies the little things that students ignore about each other everyday. This story is a real-life example and we as peers should do a better job of communicating and interacting with our peers.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is truthfully written and makes me wonder why people tend to the neglect the feelings of those who care for others. I like how this girl doesn't end on a happy note and I think it's nice straying away from the norm. Great Piece
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