Cali Finale
It
was April 5, 2014 at the Rabobank Arena in Bakersfield, California. My team was
called to go to warm ups. My heart was pounding as my teammates and I held
hands walking back stage. Our coach told us to warm up our stunts, jumps,
tumbling and dance. Our thirty minutes to warm up was ticking away, after our
second full out of our routine we were called to be on deck. We got into our
circle, held hands and began our prayers. My coach told us to stay focused,
sharp, and fierce. I was shaking, because I was so nervous. As the music from
the other cheer team had ended, my heart began racing. It was the second to
last time I would be competing with my team and I knew it had to be amazing.
When the announcer called out my team’s name, we stepped onto the blue mats. I
felt overwhelmed, with all of the flashing lights and the roar of the people. I
got to my place and my hands were shaking, our music started and then I blanked
out. My mind went completely blank and I forgot the whole routine. Whenever I
would remember something, I quickly had to think of what was next. After all of
my stunts hit, it was time for jumps, tumbling, pyramid and finally our dance.
At the time I thought it was all too much, however I seemed to remember my
routine. After I hit my ending pose and the music ended, the crowd screamed for
us. My teammates and I rushed off the stage giving each other hugs. Then we got
back stage to our coach. By the look of her face I knew we didn’t hit
perfectly. My heart dropped as she told us that three stunts didn’t go up, and
half of our pyramid fell. When we were doing our routine it was just too much
and we didn’t really notice our flaws at the time, but after you see the videos
and hear the other teams talking about you it really hits you. Even though all
of my stunts hit, I was still disappointed in myself, for not performing my
personal best. After re-watching the videos, I kept criticizing the way I had
performed. I noticed my toes weren’t pointed and I could have been sharper with
my motions. My team and I ended up getting eighth place, and even though we
were all upset with ourselves for a while, we managed to keep working hard.
However, this particular competition got me over my fear of performing in front
of a huge crowd of people. Even though there were a lot of bad memories that
came with this, I’m really glad it happened, because now I’m not afraid to
perform in rallies, or in front of big crowds in general.
Great story! You did a wonderful job orienting the reader to your situation. The only thing I might suggest is finding where the story shifts and the separating that chunk into its own paragraph. And don't worry because you are not alone. I get the same feeling when I sit down to take tests in calculus.
ReplyDeleteKatie, you are such a lovely person and you are so hardworking and this piece showed just that. I'm so happy that you overcame your fear of performing in front of big crowds because whenever you're performing at rallies, you're always so radiant and beautiful :) The writing in this piece flowed so effortlessly and i could connect with what you were saying and i felt like i understood what you were feeling at the given time. I hope you get to perform many more times because im sure you'll always be perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe way you described how nervous you were made me a little nervous, and the way you were hard on yourself shows how you are a hard worker. Your story really reflects your efforts and your new determination to never be nervous again.
ReplyDeleteHey like the saying goes, you win some you lose some. I'm sorry you were nervous but that one event helped you overcome your fear. Now you'll look back to that one event and laugh about it because you know you overcame it! Good luck to you and your future performances!
ReplyDeleteThats Great that you learned to get over stage fright so early! your story has a tendency to trigger memories and made me remember of a time when i had to sing in front of thousands of people..of course I had the SAME reaction as you and i loved this because a lot of people see cheer leading as easy but you prove here that it takes hard work and dedication! I'm Proud of you and glad you shared! THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteKatie! Very brave of you to share a personal narrative. What matters is that you're having fun with what you're doing. There's a quote that goes, " The real secret of success is enthusiasm" and that's what I see on your face and in your performance at the rallies.Keep up the good work! :D
ReplyDeleteFears are meant to be overcame. This experience took a lot of courage and that is what made your personal narrative valuable. However, I believe that your word choice and vocabulary could be more advanced. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete1 event helped you get over 1 fear. Great job on the story
ReplyDeletethat's great! but remember game is game. somene is win,and someone is .....whatever keep your best.and good luck for your next performens.
ReplyDeleteYou seem like a very optimistic person, after everything that happened you take it in a good way and become stronger. You are very brave to be sharing this, Great work!
ReplyDeletethought this was really cool and relatable to people who play team sports because you have to work together and support each other to come together and get the best result. The competition seemed fierce but, if you can learn from mistakes you're already getting better!
ReplyDeleteovercoming fear is something everyone has to deal with. i automatically felt sympathy for you when your mind went blank at the beginning of your routine. to improve your writing try to expand your vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you took an experience and found both the good and bad, accepting each one as constructive criticism to only improve. As a performer myself, I acquire the ability to say that I relate to the pre-preformance feeling and especially the feeling you get when you look upon a large crowd looking straight back at you. Great job!
ReplyDeleteOvercoming our fears happens to everyone and we can all learn from our mistakes. But im happy that your not afraid to perform anymore. :) overall good luck and great job!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting story. Performing in front of a crowd is never easy, no matter how hard you practie. Also, Its inspiring how you turned this into something positive. Great job and keep at it!
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are comming from when It comes to performing for big crowds and screamkng people, and ik the feeling when you have the audience's attsntion and all eyes are on you, your heart races, your mind goes blank and somehow you do great, but end up discovering your flaws. But then now you know what you have to work on and improve on, and you can only get better. Great job
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you explain how you felt and how you said that you learned from the past. As an athlete, I understand about doing a horrible performance and learning from it to get better.
ReplyDeleteKatie! I'm so glad that you have the courage to share this story with us. Your personal story is an experience I can totally relate to. It's great that you overcame your fear of performing in front of people and can now be the best performer you can be.
ReplyDeleteKatie, you are amazing, your experience is truly relatable, I remember the first time I ever had to compete at a large university for MUN, and I all I could remember was "do not forget your lines." You are a true inspiration and your experience encourages others to step out of their comfort zones and take risks every once in a while. You and your team are amazing and thank you guys for keeping our school spirit alive. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story because of all the great details and how your admitted your mistakes. all great athletes make mistakes, like at my games I don't like to be corrected , but its the best for my team.it also helps me improve things to work on to get better at.
ReplyDeleteThe way you are able to talk about this experience, critizing it but also gaining something from it, is truly inspirational. The event sounds traumatizing! You do great in rallies now!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I loved how you took the good and bad out of an event like that. For myself being a travel softball player, I use to have that fear you overcame. Now since I'm in 16u division playing out of state in front of tons of people; including college recruits was a terrifying thing. Although I don't have that fear anymore, your personal narrative made me smile on how I can relate to your old fear of performing in front of many people. Overall, I think you did a well done job on your piece and I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I performed my first drumline show in front of a huge crowd and actual judges. I blanked out, my adrenaline kicked in and I don't really remember much except walking out the door after my performance. The way you described you're nerves definitely transported me back in time to my moments. Good job!
ReplyDeleteIt takes courage to overcome your fears. I'm happy that you overcame yours.
ReplyDeleteThe story flowed very well from one segment to the other. I can only imagine how dreadful it must have felt the moments right before you had to walk up onto the stage. I could feel feel my heart racing when i was reading that part even though that's all I was doing, reading.
ReplyDeleteAlthough criticism is harsh on people as well as yourself, it helps us climb up further to success. I'm glad that you're able to conquer your fear and had learned from that experience. Nice work!(:
ReplyDeletethis is a very relatable piece thematically regarding fear and overcoming that to succeed! great relatable piece
ReplyDeleteGreat personal narrative! I can totally relate this when presenting in front of a class because everyone is just staring at you and your trying not to make any mistakes. But not everyone is perfect so you just have to be confident in what your doing. :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting transition from the adrenaline rush of performing to the bitter reviews post-competition. I liked that you tied everything together at the end, and left readers with a memorable lesson.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very well written and easy to understand seeing how you lived it first hand, this must of been an experience you will probably never forget, but will be something that you will use to define yourself when a similar opportunity arrives again.
ReplyDeleteIn my view this story is very entertaining and very well written very nice job keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this story. You see I'm in dance and every year in March and May we do performances for our parents at a high school auditorium. I dance by myself without my advanced group. When it's my turn I get all nervous and think the worst. But once I get out there I blank my mind and do the dance. One time I forgot some of my dance and I had to fake the step. I didn't know what to do so I kept going. But overall lovely story.
ReplyDeleteYour story is probably comparable to many others in situations like that. I enjoyed the fact that even though you acknowledged the awful things that may have come from the situation, you still saw the brighter side of getting over your stage fright. Even though it needs a bit more separation from the beginning, climax, and ending, it was still written! Good job!
ReplyDeleteIt is so great that you overcame your fears! This story was very interesting to hear and I bet this is a experience that you won't forget. I am sure that most people can relate to this since we are also in front of a crowd of people and we get nervous. We aren't perfect people but we should be comfortable with each other and also ourselves. GREAT JOB!
ReplyDeleteThat was a strong story of overcoming your fear. All performers go through this and fear is what keeps you sharp. However, in times of failure, such as 8th place, you know there's only one way to go, which is up. This story was easy to relate to with the amount of imagery you used.
ReplyDeleteI admire how you overcame your fear. It really taught me to not be afraid because there will be great outcomes that come with it. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was very well written. I can relate to this and all the emotions running inside you at one was described perfectly. i really enjoyed reading this great job!!
ReplyDeleteI love how you overcame fear. I loved how you remember every single thing that happened good job
ReplyDeleteVery descriptive and relatable, especially since I am a cheerleader too and I know the same feeling. Well written with lots of imagery and a defined voice, but more vocabulary would be improve it a lot.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on overcoming your fear. Amazing story Katie
ReplyDeleteGood job overcoming your fear ! great imagery overall GREAT JOB :)
ReplyDeleteAll things happen for a reason, and that's how you got over your fear. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe detail you used allows the reader to understand and connect to your situation as everyone gets a similar feeling one time or another. The best part was to see that you gained something positive from a negative experience. That's always important. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you overcame your fear. It was inspirational and I'm glad that you aren't afraid of big crowds anymore.
ReplyDeleteovercoming a fear is very hard, and its very good that you overcame your fears. great work in this piece, very descriptive
ReplyDelete-jaedon adan
Ugh , I loved it ! I loved it ! I felt like I was reading a scene from Bring It On. I felt the intensity and the whole adrenaline rush. I felt like I was in your head the whole time and this was happening to me . You had great imagery, Good Job Katie ! I'm glad you've overcame your fear .
ReplyDeletevery descriptive and you faced your fear and u beat it good job
ReplyDeleteI think its great that you were able to overcome your fear. It was very personal and I'm so glad I was able to hear your story. It was great.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your thesis that you can get something good from a bad memory. It shows that things take time, passion and courage good narrative.
ReplyDeleteMaking this experience a learning one is great and I really thought you described the setting and how you felt very well.
ReplyDeleteIt's always a wondrous feeling when you overcome a fear so congrats Katie! The piece is great and could help someone else who may be going through a similar situation.
ReplyDeletePersonal stories always invoke the best feelings and i felt as though your piece really touched me. I also loved the overcome of feelings
ReplyDeleteA great lesson is taught in this short story and same situations happens often in a person's life. I often get excited instead get nervous.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on conquering your fear! That must have been an awesome experience for you! Your use of detail helped me understand the entire situation better, well done!
ReplyDeleteWell done! This story does a great job of showing the importance of overcoming fears, even when failure is on the line. It gives readers the ability to connect this truth to their own lives, so that they can have better experiences when dealing with these types of situations. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteGlad you overcame your fear! good job you were very descriptive with your imagery
ReplyDeleteStage Fright is no joke, but the way you overcame that one is very relatable. The storytelling of this piece really portrays those feelings and thoughts. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you brought up your fear was awesome and brave i am glad you overcame them!
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy that you were able to get over your fear of performing. I like to read about experiences like this because I can relate to the pressure of performing. It's really terrifying but after you get it done it feels great. Great writing skills. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteEven though your story was personal I'm glad you shared it because so many people deal with stage fright that your stage fright and overcoming it can be an inspiration to them.
ReplyDeleteEasy to follow. Good descriptions. Happy you overcame your fear!
ReplyDeleteI totally know the feeling except we got 6th place. good gob with explanations in your feelings.
ReplyDeleteTrial and error my friend. That's how we all improve! Not receiving the place you wanted is really painful. Working hard and believing is how you'll do better next time!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you got over your fear and that you learn from your mistakes.
ReplyDeleteVery good story! I liked how you stayed positive at the end. Also it takes true champions to learn from there mistakes and keep moving forward.
ReplyDeleteI found your story to be very easily related to by many high school students. I like how your diction made it seem very sincere and real. I'm glad you developed the courage to perform well and overcame your fear of public performances. Your story serves as an example of how if you practice hard and prepare well enough, then you will be fine when you present your work whether it's a paper or a performance, because if something great is inputted then something great must be produced.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story! Anyone can relate because many people have the fear of stage fright. Congrats of overcoming your fear! Inspiring to many students.
ReplyDeleteWow, Katie. I can see how nerve-wracking it must've been for you. I like the way you write; I can totally hear your voice behind the words, as though you were telling me the story instead of me reading it.
ReplyDeleteQuick tip: you might want to separate the paragraph into bits and pieces, but other than that, great story!
Great job! im glad you overcome your fear. very strong story. keep it up!
ReplyDeleteGreat overall lesson. Really relatable story that inspires the reader.
ReplyDeleteOvercoming fear is something everyone have to deal with and I admire that you cane over yours
ReplyDeleteInteresting story of how you were able to overcome your fear, the way you described it really showed the emotion you felt.
ReplyDelete-Martin Landaeta
Hey Katie!! You know I love ya! Anyway I think this was a great piece of writing! THe imagery used from your standpoint as first person was great! Really made me feel as if I was watching the whole thing unfold before me. Again thought it was great. Might help the flow if you split it up into two paragraphs. Other than that great job I loved it!
ReplyDeleteI think its so cool that you shared a personal experience ! Your descriptions were great and I felt like I was there experiencing everything with you, awesome job overcoming your fear!
ReplyDeleteKATIE! This story was nicely composed and showed me the importance of teamwork. I love how the teammates were all together sharing the same emotions.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Waitman
Your story was very relatable for me because I have had experiences with performing in front of large audiences because of Marching Band and Color Guard and the jitters that come with performing. You used a lot of descriptive detail in your story and it painted the scene you were writing about very nicely, I felt like I was watching everything happen.
ReplyDeleteKatie, it is great to know that you were able to turn a negative experience into a good life lesson. While the formatting and transitions could be improved, it was still a great piece!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for telling us your story. The way you portrayed your emotions with this little story was very admirable of you. Good luck this year!
ReplyDeleteWeird seeing this kind of thing because all of you guys look so confident out there when you actually perform! Never really think about the work you have to put in and how when mistakes happen they only help you for the future.
ReplyDeleteI've experienced the exact same thing but in winter drum line. You explained the scenario very well. I wanted to know more about how that event made you grow out of that fear, but overall it was good.
ReplyDeletei like how this is a real story and that its about overcoming fears
ReplyDeleteThis story had a very positive vibe. I love how you ended the story with something good and overcame your fear.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great learning experience.
ReplyDeleteSounded like a great learning experience and it is fantastic that you've overcome your fear! keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteExcellant you overcame and faced your fear love it
ReplyDeleteSimply written, yet an enjoyment to read. Your piece made me reflect on myself. I'm glad that you're comfortable in front of a crown. Not many people can have the confidence that you have performing. Good job. I'm happy for you. ��
ReplyDeleteWas a good story. Very entertaining, I wanted to keep reading
ReplyDelete-Garrett Lachase
I have never been in front of a huge crowd before and I can tell you now, it'll always be a major fear of mine! Im glad you conquered your fear, but hey, every mistake makes each possibility better the next time(: heads up -Bernadine
ReplyDeleteI loved this story I wanted to keep reading. But I'm glad you overcame your fear! Great job!
ReplyDelete