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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Katarina--Violet Eyes



Violet Eyes

            Morana walked into her art studio, eyeing the canvas sitting in the middle of the room. She smiled, it had finally dried. Yet the artist eyed the over sized painting, overjoyed about it—but something was unsettling about it, she just didn't know what. She examined the painting, as if she were to find something wrong. However nothing seemed to be wrong; the brown and pale colored strokes had blended together perfectly, the image had come out perfectly – still – nothing out of place on the painting. The painting had portrayed a woman, ebony black hair that had swung behind her back, and skin as pale as a blanket of snow. The woman's piercing eyes stood out among everything else in the painting-an electric violet.
            Shaking herself out of her daze, she hung the painting up along with the others, blending into the monotonic artworks on the wall. She backed away from it, still staring at it, waiting for that off thing to pop out at her. Stop it Morana, it's just another dumb painting, she spoke to herself. She turned and walked away, but something soon stopped her.
            The sound of a piano key had played throughout the small room. The piano in the corner of her art studio was the root of the sound, walking towards it, she saw the piano string still vibrating. The confusion bounced around her head, turning around the room several times before looking at her most recent painting and seeing that the woman had disappeared. Her eyes widened, running towards the painting looking as if she had just seen strange things—but no, the woman was really gone from the canvas. Her raven black hair, pale skin, piercing eyes; all gone from the canvas.
            Morana looked at near paintings and found another one of her paintings, a dog and the woman with the violet eyes sharing a canvas.
She didn't recall painting her there.
            The position of the woman was different, she had a sly smirk – her violet eyes staring into her as if they were mocking her somehow. The artist didn't know what else to do but turn away, then hearing another piano key play, and turned towards the wall another time—the violet eyed woman had moved again.
            This time, she was in a painting sitting beside a French man with happy wrinkles on his face as he read the newspaper. However, Morana hadn't painted the man with a happy smile on his face. She closed her eyes and walked towards a mirror in the corner of the studio. The artist didn't want to open her eyes, but she did, but she wished it wasn't what she was seeing now. However, she still opened her eyes. There before her eyes was herself, her black hair, her pale skin, and the violet eyes. Before she could realize that she was the woman with the violet eyes—the same piano note played again, and abruptly her whole world washed to black.

37 comments:

  1. oh this was so interesting to read! i even showed it to my mom because i liked it so much ahaha. Good job! please continue writing <3

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  2. This piece was extremely interesting to read not only because you tied it to a current event but also because you used your own perspective, which in turn made the story relatable and entertaining. Nice job :)

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  3. I was interested throughout this whole piece. good job.

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  4. Wow, this was really good. I loved your use of descriptive language! I didn't want your story to end!

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  5. The third paragraph really surprised me and I kept reading for more! Very captivating, good job!

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  6. This narrative was very interesting. I love your choice of the character's name and appreciate your effective use of imagery. I could really imagine myself in the art studio with Morana. Nice job!

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  7. I honestly can't believe you're a freshman writer! This was really good. Your use of words and descriptive language helped me to imagine the woman with the violet eyes. Good job!

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  8. WOW! this piece is so interesting i want to read more lol overall great work!! :)

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  9. This story was so interesting. I loved it so much. I had to show it to all my family and they said you did a very good job!

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  10. i loved this piece and it was very interesting and it was very imaginary. 100/100

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  11. This story was very interesting. Your details were amazing. I wish there was more to read. You did a really great job.

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  12. The title already had me hooked! The story was interesting and the imagery was very well too. Good job with description!

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  13. I really enjoyed reading this. I was like "whaaat' when I finished reading it! I love the ending especially, great job!

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  14. Very easy to keep on reading I was hooked on from the beginning. I love the descriptive language and imagery, it really painted the picture .. hahaha.. for me. You're mastery over the skill to produce the story inside the reader's head is stunning. Thank you for writing!

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  15. A little creepy, I almost expected the author to end up trapped in one of the paintings with the woman. Is there more to the story? I want to know what happens after the fade to black.

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  16. I have to say this is BY FAR the best story i have read. The vocabulary alone is enough to get my attention, but the descriptions, almost poetic in the sense of its smoothness. And such a creative story, i love every part about it and i don't think there is a way to make it better. This is an absolutely terrific story.

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  17. You really did a great job! It was quite interesting to read! Your use of diction and imagery was great. Keep it up!

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  18. Wow. I love stories that make me talk out loud to myself, and this one did. You could definitely expand this into a full novel; it entices the reader with suspense. Do the violet eyes mean something?

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  19. Your work came alive just as Morana's did! You are insanely creative, I hope to be able to read more from you in the future.

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  20. The story was very intriguing and was unpredictable to the end. Plus your use of imagery developed the scene very well. I loved the motif of the eyes and how it applied to the story as a whole.

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  21. Wooooow, this was quite fascinating. I was already hooked from the title, and it continued to the end. This was actually really interesting, Good Job.

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  22. Wow!!! I really enjoyed reading this, you are such a talented writer. The imagery and descriptive language really helps in making the story more interesting to the reader. Nice job!!!

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  23. It's important when writing fiction to "show" and not "tell" and I think you definitely did so in your writing. Good job!

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  24. Awesome job! This story was really intriguing and suspenseful. You should definitely continue with this piece and let us know what comes next!

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  25. That was cool. I enjoy suspense, your entry was full of it with an unpredictable ending, very well written.

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  26. I loved this piece. It really shows how our creations and the things we love become us when we have enough passion for it. I thoroughly enjoyed your word choice and symbolism and you did an awesome job. Keep up the great work!

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  27. This is fantastic! Your story line and use of imagery had me captivated the entire time. Keep writing!!! :)

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  28. Your piece was captivating and mind boggling. Good job! Don't stop writing.

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  29. This story was very captivating, wonderfully written!

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  30. you did a great job it kept me on my toes picturing it all in my mind and replaying it over and over again. great job!

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  31. Your use of descriptive imagery was great, it made your story very interesting. I almost felt as if I were in the art studio observing the painting.

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  32. I really enjoyed this Katarina! I loved your vocabulary and imagery. Also the unique name of Morona and how the 'Violet Eyes' was repetitive with a lot of meaning behind it. This was a really good story!

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  33. Is there more? Haha. I think you did a brilliant job on this. It's because for some strange reason I thought of the painting Mona Lisa and if she came out of her painting while reading this. Keep up the great writing!

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  34. This was a great piece of writing. I think it;s really interesting that you came up with this idea. Your descriptive language, use of imagery and diction really helped to expand upon the story. Great job I really enjoyed it.

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  35. At first I thought that the painting was an evil spirit, but it turned out to be her, the story really turned out to be really unexpected, great job!

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  36. WHOAH!!! This was amazing! I loved the imagery you used, it was like i could see everything! please continue to write (: Best story by far <3

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