Violet Eyes
Morana walked into her art studio,
eyeing the canvas sitting in the middle of the room. She smiled, it had finally
dried. Yet the artist eyed the over sized painting, overjoyed about it—but
something was unsettling about it, she just didn't know what. She examined the
painting, as if she were to find something wrong. However nothing seemed to be
wrong; the brown and pale colored strokes had blended together perfectly, the
image had come out perfectly – still – nothing out of place on the painting.
The painting had portrayed a woman, ebony black hair that had swung behind her
back, and skin as pale as a blanket of snow. The woman's piercing eyes stood
out among everything else in the painting-an electric violet.
Shaking herself out of her daze, she
hung the painting up along with the others, blending into the monotonic
artworks on the wall. She backed away from it, still staring at it, waiting for
that off thing to pop out at her. Stop it Morana, it's just another dumb
painting, she spoke to herself. She turned and walked away, but something
soon stopped her.
The sound of a piano key had played
throughout the small room. The piano in the corner of her art studio was the root
of the sound, walking towards it, she saw the piano string still vibrating. The
confusion bounced around her head, turning around the room several times before
looking at her most recent painting and seeing that the woman had disappeared.
Her eyes widened, running towards the painting looking as if she had just seen
strange things—but no, the woman was really gone from the canvas. Her raven
black hair, pale skin, piercing eyes; all gone from the canvas.
Morana looked at near paintings and
found another one of her paintings, a dog and the woman with the violet eyes
sharing a canvas.
She
didn't recall painting her there.
The position of the woman was
different, she had a sly smirk – her violet eyes staring into her as if they
were mocking her somehow. The artist didn't know what else to do but turn away,
then hearing another piano key play, and turned towards the wall another
time—the violet eyed woman had moved again.
This time, she was in a painting
sitting beside a French man with happy wrinkles on his face as he read the
newspaper. However, Morana hadn't painted the man with a happy smile on his
face. She closed her eyes and walked towards a mirror in the corner of the
studio. The artist didn't want to open her eyes, but she did, but she wished it
wasn't what she was seeing now. However, she still opened her eyes. There
before her eyes was herself, her black hair, her pale skin, and the violet
eyes. Before she could realize that she was the woman with the violet eyes—the
same piano note played again, and abruptly her whole world washed to black.
oh this was so interesting to read! i even showed it to my mom because i liked it so much ahaha. Good job! please continue writing <3
ReplyDeleteThis piece was extremely interesting to read not only because you tied it to a current event but also because you used your own perspective, which in turn made the story relatable and entertaining. Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteI was interested throughout this whole piece. good job.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was really good. I loved your use of descriptive language! I didn't want your story to end!
ReplyDeleteThe third paragraph really surprised me and I kept reading for more! Very captivating, good job!
ReplyDeleteThis narrative was very interesting. I love your choice of the character's name and appreciate your effective use of imagery. I could really imagine myself in the art studio with Morana. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't believe you're a freshman writer! This was really good. Your use of words and descriptive language helped me to imagine the woman with the violet eyes. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWOW! this piece is so interesting i want to read more lol overall great work!! :)
ReplyDeleteThis story was so interesting. I loved it so much. I had to show it to all my family and they said you did a very good job!
ReplyDeletei loved this piece and it was very interesting and it was very imaginary. 100/100
ReplyDeleteThis story was very interesting. Your details were amazing. I wish there was more to read. You did a really great job.
ReplyDeleteThe title already had me hooked! The story was interesting and the imagery was very well too. Good job with description!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. I was like "whaaat' when I finished reading it! I love the ending especially, great job!
ReplyDeleteVery easy to keep on reading I was hooked on from the beginning. I love the descriptive language and imagery, it really painted the picture .. hahaha.. for me. You're mastery over the skill to produce the story inside the reader's head is stunning. Thank you for writing!
ReplyDeleteA little creepy, I almost expected the author to end up trapped in one of the paintings with the woman. Is there more to the story? I want to know what happens after the fade to black.
ReplyDeleteI have to say this is BY FAR the best story i have read. The vocabulary alone is enough to get my attention, but the descriptions, almost poetic in the sense of its smoothness. And such a creative story, i love every part about it and i don't think there is a way to make it better. This is an absolutely terrific story.
ReplyDeleteYou really did a great job! It was quite interesting to read! Your use of diction and imagery was great. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWow. I love stories that make me talk out loud to myself, and this one did. You could definitely expand this into a full novel; it entices the reader with suspense. Do the violet eyes mean something?
ReplyDeleteYour work came alive just as Morana's did! You are insanely creative, I hope to be able to read more from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteThe story was very intriguing and was unpredictable to the end. Plus your use of imagery developed the scene very well. I loved the motif of the eyes and how it applied to the story as a whole.
ReplyDeleteWooooow, this was quite fascinating. I was already hooked from the title, and it continued to the end. This was actually really interesting, Good Job.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! I really enjoyed reading this, you are such a talented writer. The imagery and descriptive language really helps in making the story more interesting to the reader. Nice job!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's important when writing fiction to "show" and not "tell" and I think you definitely did so in your writing. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAwesome job! This story was really intriguing and suspenseful. You should definitely continue with this piece and let us know what comes next!
ReplyDeleteThat was cool. I enjoy suspense, your entry was full of it with an unpredictable ending, very well written.
ReplyDeleteI loved this piece. It really shows how our creations and the things we love become us when we have enough passion for it. I thoroughly enjoyed your word choice and symbolism and you did an awesome job. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic! Your story line and use of imagery had me captivated the entire time. Keep writing!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYour piece was captivating and mind boggling. Good job! Don't stop writing.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very captivating, wonderfully written!
ReplyDeleteyou did a great job it kept me on my toes picturing it all in my mind and replaying it over and over again. great job!
ReplyDeleteYour use of descriptive imagery was great, it made your story very interesting. I almost felt as if I were in the art studio observing the painting.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this Katarina! I loved your vocabulary and imagery. Also the unique name of Morona and how the 'Violet Eyes' was repetitive with a lot of meaning behind it. This was a really good story!
ReplyDeleteIs there more? Haha. I think you did a brilliant job on this. It's because for some strange reason I thought of the painting Mona Lisa and if she came out of her painting while reading this. Keep up the great writing!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great piece of writing. I think it;s really interesting that you came up with this idea. Your descriptive language, use of imagery and diction really helped to expand upon the story. Great job I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. Loved your imagery
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought that the painting was an evil spirit, but it turned out to be her, the story really turned out to be really unexpected, great job!
ReplyDeleteWHOAH!!! This was amazing! I loved the imagery you used, it was like i could see everything! please continue to write (: Best story by far <3
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