Leading the Way
The cool, crisp mountain air felt foreign to
my lungs. I was far from home, standing in the middle of a field just outside
of the campus of the Air Force Academy. I had just met the people around me a
few days before, but we already had a bond so strong that it was hard to
imagine being away from them. My new friends and I, team Alpha, spent a week at
the Air Force Academy for an annual engineering camp and it was the most
impactful experience of my life.
The camp itself consisted of about a hundred top-notch students and twenty counselors. The students were split into groups of ten with two counselors for each team. Every day we had a new engineering related competitive event, including catapult building and house designing, and we camped out in military-grade huts. I found out so much more about my limits and myself after attending this camp. The whole experience forced me to be an independent and critical thinker while putting me in a leadership position. Our team gave everyone a chance to lead by electing a new leader for every activity. The activity that I was in charge of was a shed building event. At first the work and responsibility felt like a wave overwhelming me, but I delegated jobs and leadership roles to people who I felt would flourish in their positions the best. I had to supervise the project for two full days – it was the largest event of the camp – which put even more pressure on me to do well. This amazing leadership opportunity made me realize the importance of obtaining respect and trust as a leader. If my team did not respect my decisions or trust my ideas and me, we could never have obtained first place.
I realized just how important respect was during the sprinkler system building event. The leader for the event was the sole girl in our group, so she naturally felt left out. Since she already felt a lack of cohesion, she did not act as though she had much authority. This made her a mostly ineffective leader for the event, and everybody else naturally started to try to take over the leadership role. We obviously had the ability to do well because we beat almost every other team in all the other events, but we came in last this event because we did not have a strong leader. After this, I realized how important a strong, respected leader is to every team, group, or organization.
This experience improved my character drastically. I now have a greater understanding of what it means to be both a leader and a follower, and I was able to express my love and talent for problem solving. Because I expanded both my knowledge in engineering and critical thinking skills, I hope to share what I have learned with others at the Air Force Academy, be a role model for other students, and bring unique solutions to difficult problems.
The camp itself consisted of about a hundred top-notch students and twenty counselors. The students were split into groups of ten with two counselors for each team. Every day we had a new engineering related competitive event, including catapult building and house designing, and we camped out in military-grade huts. I found out so much more about my limits and myself after attending this camp. The whole experience forced me to be an independent and critical thinker while putting me in a leadership position. Our team gave everyone a chance to lead by electing a new leader for every activity. The activity that I was in charge of was a shed building event. At first the work and responsibility felt like a wave overwhelming me, but I delegated jobs and leadership roles to people who I felt would flourish in their positions the best. I had to supervise the project for two full days – it was the largest event of the camp – which put even more pressure on me to do well. This amazing leadership opportunity made me realize the importance of obtaining respect and trust as a leader. If my team did not respect my decisions or trust my ideas and me, we could never have obtained first place.
I realized just how important respect was during the sprinkler system building event. The leader for the event was the sole girl in our group, so she naturally felt left out. Since she already felt a lack of cohesion, she did not act as though she had much authority. This made her a mostly ineffective leader for the event, and everybody else naturally started to try to take over the leadership role. We obviously had the ability to do well because we beat almost every other team in all the other events, but we came in last this event because we did not have a strong leader. After this, I realized how important a strong, respected leader is to every team, group, or organization.
This experience improved my character drastically. I now have a greater understanding of what it means to be both a leader and a follower, and I was able to express my love and talent for problem solving. Because I expanded both my knowledge in engineering and critical thinking skills, I hope to share what I have learned with others at the Air Force Academy, be a role model for other students, and bring unique solutions to difficult problems.
your whole experience seemed really amazing! as I was reading your writing, it was easy to see where you were coming from and it was easy to connect with you as a writer. I liked the language you used throughout the piece as it was understandable and relate able. I'm also glad that got to have such an amazing experience and that you gained so much from it! :) it really shows throughout your writing and through you as a person
ReplyDeleteYour experience impacting your life really seemed to show through your writing, and comparing your experiences to other's showed how different experiences can change someone different ways.
ReplyDeleteYour personal narrative is very relatable. Sometimes we are put in positions where we have to lead and it may or may not suit us. I'm glad your group obtained first place as you were the leader which shows some of the unique capabilities you attain. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you taught me a lot of lessons! First the Part of your story in which the girl is being taken over in her leadership abilities...being a strong advocate for women and their strength this has taught me to be stronger without letting men intimidate me! then the part of your story where you were SO AMAZING! you handled your challenge with dignity and I feel that truly helped you in the long run. Overall I loved this story and I loved your easy to read and welcoming techniques that you had to offer! I give it a 10!
ReplyDeleteYour experience is very interesting. I liked how you kept the words casual and understandable. I feel like this personal narrative can really influence others about leadership and teamwork. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe way you wrote this was very well written, it was very interesting. It seems you had a very awesome experience, Great work!
ReplyDeleteYour experience was inspiring. Going out of your way to become a leader truly shows your aspects of a role model. I'm not only saying this because I admire those who dedicate themselves into the military, but because your skill gave me a new perspective on what kind of person you are, and I feel that connection with the writer and reader is important.
ReplyDeleteMany people can relate to your story, this story was mostly about teamwork and leadership which is important in life
ReplyDeletea nice story, thought it was cool that you emphasized the respect and trust aspect of the even, while including the example of each.
ReplyDeleteThe composition and word choice of this piece was easy to understand. making this a personal narrative provided intimacy between the author and the reader as well
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed it because I acquired the capability to view your perception AND because I myself am a leader and therefore i can relate. I definitely agree with you 100% that leaders need to be responsible, strong, and respected upon their peers. The Air Force should be honored to have you.
ReplyDeleteyour experience was interesting and the way you wrote this piece was very well written! Great work. :)
ReplyDeleteYour story was very inspiring. It shows how a leader needs to be someone who can be effective as well as respected by their peers. Also, your story shows how being a leader is never easy and it takes determination and strength to become a good leader. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how a critical situation made you become a more stronger person and leader. Anybody that you lead will be lucky to have you cause you will just lead them to success.
ReplyDeleteYou really showed how detailed you can be in writing about a real life experience which I can easily see in your writing! I enjoyed reading your story
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you because my softball teams needs a good leader and I was willing to take on the role of that. this helps me a lot to know that its takes someone strong to be a strong leader if you want to succeed.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very relatable narrative, for I know how it feels to be on both sides of the spectrum. I agree with you in that there must be a balance between being a leader and follower because the success of any team or organization is dependent on communication and the ability to function as a unit. I am glad you had fun at your air force academy! Great Job.
ReplyDeleteYour piece was very interesting to read! The way you wrote it, with such respect and gratitude, I appreciate that. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThat experience sounds like it was life changing. Now I feel as if i need to improve my life.
ReplyDeleteThis piece from your experience was very captivating and had me interested because I've never heard of these Air Force Camps and it seems very fun. You had a very strong, clear voice in this story and I can now see with the examples you gave, what it takes to be strong leader. Good Job
ReplyDeleteThis is very true, and is demonstrated in just about every kind of group project. This is written so that it well conveys the message.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting read. It was very simple and easy to follow you in your understanding of leaders and what it takes to be successful in such a pressuring role.
ReplyDeleteI feel as if your word choices were a bit rough-edged, but for this situation and this being a personal narrative, I think it fits the description perfectly! Lovely ^-^
ReplyDeletei like this story it expresses a change in view due to a specific experience that led to future goals and standards to live by great story!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. I heard your voice shine through the entire time I read this, and the little lesson at the end reminded me of Aesop's Fables or the like. Nice inclusion of figurative language in a personal narrative, which seems difficult to me.
ReplyDeleteThis piece showed a simple but very essential trait of leadership, and what people can do as a group is based upon this necessary skill.
ReplyDeletevery nice job and I love this story a lot more please
ReplyDeleteYour story is very relatable, and in multiple ways. Especially when described that your leader didn't have much authority and it lead your team to come in last despite your abiltiy. It seemed as though it was a humbling experience and that is easily percieved through your writing.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is very interesting to read and I like this story because I know that it takes someone strong to be a strong leader if you want to succeed. Your writing is simple and it's easy to understanding what you are telling us. Also your experience is inspiring. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteThat was very impressive and well written. The point was made quickly. The story shows that you learned a lot about yourself and group dynamics.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked about your story was the way you expressed your experience in such language. I'm really speechless. Amazing job!!!!
ReplyDeleteYour use of imagery was good! It was interesting to read and showed how much you learned from such an experience.
ReplyDeleteI loved the story and how you learned such great leadership from your experience. great job!!
ReplyDeleteI love how you put your words in this story. i like how you expressed yourself good job
ReplyDeleteWhat a great experience! Great story, very well written with a hook that captured my attention. Great job!
ReplyDeletegreat experience and written very well !!! good job :)
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in this story was amazing good job.
ReplyDeleteI love the dark twist in this story, very nice use of words. Really dig the story, good job!
ReplyDeleteYour story reminds me of groups in class, good people, useless without a good leader.
ReplyDeleteYou're very descriptive language allowed to reader to somewhat feel as if they experienced what you did. It was also great that, very discretely, you were able to teach the reader a lesson based on the same lesson you learned through sharing your experiences. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI would say Navy! but Air Force is filled with geniuses like you. I can relate to what you did because I was at Camp Pendleton this summer doing military drills and leadership drills as well. nice word choice in this narrative.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your piece. The way you wrote it, by explaining paragraph by paragraph your experience was incredible. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI understood how you made your connection to the narrative. Really a good piece of literature and I thought the story was very well put together.
ReplyDeleteWoooooow! I can relate to you a 100% and this makes your story even more inspiring. I would have loved to see you in action; just because I know you would do a great job. While reading I heard your voice the entire time and this also made your story even better. Me gusta mucho!
ReplyDeletewow, great work, you explained this as you re-lived it. great work and it must have been a fun experience
ReplyDelete-jaedon adan
I liked how you made it so the reader could really connect with you. The language also flowed very well together.Great job!
ReplyDeleteleft me speechless great job, imagery was really good I thought I was actually there
ReplyDeletethis was great piece i really related it to myself
ReplyDeletewow this changed my view on life and character keep it up
ReplyDeleteYou had a very concise story about your great experience at the Air Force Academy. It was easily relatable and comprehensible.
ReplyDeleteReally found this experience relatable and true, dealing with the importance of good leadership.
ReplyDeleteThe story really tells the reader what kind of a person the author is, which is an important skill because this could be used for college application or job interview.
ReplyDeleteI love how your writing flowed and it was easy to comprehend. Through your piece I learned that it is important to be a confident and strong leader and follower in groups/teams. And I really found it a good read and lesson. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThe story caught my attention right away and I felt as if I was there. Great imagery!
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting take on the leader follower mentality and the connection to the harshness of nature ties it together very well
ReplyDeleteAwesome intro with the "mountain air" filling your lungs, the story itself was a great example of your leadership qualities, you ought to use this for a personal statement!
ReplyDeletelove the way you started it off. Your experience taught me a lot. very well written. nice job
ReplyDeleteThat connection goes a long way! I'm glad you found something that you can find passion in, and the story really portrays such interest with how well structured this is.
ReplyDeleteAwesome explanation of your experiences really brought out the story!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about your experience at the Air Force Academy and how it improved your character. Great job for getting first place and being a strong leader.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used your personal experience to write this story. It was very interesting and relate-able.
ReplyDeleteGood use of a personal anecdote to teach a lesson! Sounds like a cool experience too!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed it. Your use of stylistic devices, already explained by the comments above, all worked together to allow me to understand every aspect of it. Very professional.
ReplyDeleteThis piece really showed the importance and of being a leader, and what it really means to be a leader
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the fact that your had your previous experiences tie into a theme mostly everyone can relate too.
ReplyDeleteVery good story! I like the details you put in for describing how you felt about the situation.
ReplyDeleteI very easily connected to your experiences and I remembered how it felt to build something of my own. You described an experience while also portraying your character. I loved how you shared what you thought was important in life and how you connected it to your experience to remain on topic.
ReplyDeleteWow, Dallas. Your whole experience was really interesting to read about, and I can totally relate. The whole Air Force Academy thing with engineering also made complete sense; you've always been good at Physics, haha.
ReplyDeleteReally good job! It relates to a lot of people who wants to be a leader or is a leader.
ReplyDeletegreat job! i like this story a lot and it was very interesting! and good job with expressing yourself
ReplyDeleteReally relatable writing. Easy for the reader to connect to. Very interesting read and interesting experience of yours.
ReplyDeleteIt was cool reading about the experience you had and the way you described it was understandable. I completely agree with what you said about being a leader and a follower.
ReplyDelete-Martin Landaeta
Your personal narrative is very relatable and a good way to look at things differently
ReplyDeleteWell Dallas as you know I love the USAFA myself! So i found this totally relatable to me and also Civil Air Patrol! This is probably my favorite piece for the month! Loved the lessons you had to teach! Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Dallas! Your use of figurative language as you went through your experiences made the journey much more effective and enticing to readers, especially me. What a great story!
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed your piece! I like how you made your story very personal and descriptive. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteThis was a compelling story! I enjoyed the character development that occurred throughout the story.
ReplyDelete-Lauren Waitman
Your experience at the Air Force Academy is very interesting and it is nice to see how it impacted your life. I agree that a strong leader is vital to a group's success. The imagery and your descriptiveness really add to the comprehension of your story. Thanks for sharing this experience with us!
ReplyDeleteYour piece was put together very nicely! It's relatable and it highlighted the impact and value of great leadership ability that many strive for
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience with us. When I read this, I felt like I had a better visualization of what it's like to prepare for the airforce and wow props to you for being able to take that all in.
ReplyDeleteVery good point my friend. I like that you not only brought home what it takes to be a good leader but also what it takes to be a good follower.
ReplyDeleteSure didn't find any of this surprising coming from genius boy. You could probably win all the events on your own huh. This was a great way to regale your past experiences into a learning experience for everyone.
ReplyDeletereally good story with really good imagery
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the story line. You are great at describing things and putting detail.
ReplyDeleteWow Dallas! I didn't know you wanted to be apart of the Air Force until now! I enjoyed learning about your experience at the academy and I lied how you tied your conclusion together by summing up what you got out of the whole experience! Great job! (:
ReplyDeleteexperiences where you learn something new about yourself are always the best.
ReplyDeleteVery insightful read, found this very relatable too.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great peice of writing, I was entertained the whole time. After reading this I think , everything you do helps you get stronger for what's next.
ReplyDelete-Garrett Lachase