Rosaline: Have you ever felt alone? Not the alone where you're just sitting by yourself because
your friends aren't there yet, but the alone where you can't talk about your problems or anything going on in your life because you'll feel judged? Sometimes that's how I feel, I think I'm not allowed to say what I really mean because I'll just end up getting judged in the end or when I do something and I want to talk about it but know I can't. Do you ever feel like that?
Ruby: Sometimes I just want to be left alone and not have to act like everything's okay. I want to be able to be to real with someone, but what if I get judged? Now in days people judge you for every little thing you do. I tried to be real with someone, I really did but then what happened as soon as I started to be real and open up? He did exactly what I thought he would do, what everyone does, he left and once again where am I? I'm back to feeling all alone again. Rosaline: Why do you act like you're okay then? Why don't you just show how you're feeling instead of keeping it bottled up? You're always so happy, but deep down I know you really aren't, you're just like me. You may say, "Oh no, we are nothing alike." But think about it, when those people ask, "Are you okay?" What do you do? You give them that fake smile and reply with, "Yeah, I'm fine!" It's funny because I do the same thing. We are alike in many ways you just don't see it. Ruby: I don't know if I can do this anymore, it's...
*enters doctor*
Doctor: Good Afternoon, Miss. Gonzalez how are you doing?
Rosaline: I'm fine, may I ask you something?
Doctor: *pause* Yes...
Rosaline: Why do people only ask, "What's wrong? Or Are you okay? Or What happened?" Only when they see that you aren't constantly smiling like you usually are?
Doctor: Maybe you only notice that because you only pay attention to others when something is wrong. May I ask you something?
Rosaline: No, but you're going to ask anyways.
Doctor: Who were you talking to when I walked in?
Rosaline: No one
Doctor: I heard you say, "I don't know if I can do this anymore" what do you mean by that? Rosaline: I didn't say that...
Doctor: Okay, well you'll be having a room inspection.
*the inspectors enter and search the room*
Doctor: Rosaline shall we step outside?
Inspector 1: Doctor can you come here please?
*Doctor reveals blade and diary and reads a few pages*
Doctor: Rosaline?
Rosaline: That's not mine, it's Ruby's. She said that she didn't want to be here anymore and I don't want to be left here alone.
Doctor: Rosaline, you're not alone you have multiple friends and family who care about you and
your friends aren't there yet, but the alone where you can't talk about your problems or anything going on in your life because you'll feel judged? Sometimes that's how I feel, I think I'm not allowed to say what I really mean because I'll just end up getting judged in the end or when I do something and I want to talk about it but know I can't. Do you ever feel like that?
Ruby: Sometimes I just want to be left alone and not have to act like everything's okay. I want to be able to be to real with someone, but what if I get judged? Now in days people judge you for every little thing you do. I tried to be real with someone, I really did but then what happened as soon as I started to be real and open up? He did exactly what I thought he would do, what everyone does, he left and once again where am I? I'm back to feeling all alone again. Rosaline: Why do you act like you're okay then? Why don't you just show how you're feeling instead of keeping it bottled up? You're always so happy, but deep down I know you really aren't, you're just like me. You may say, "Oh no, we are nothing alike." But think about it, when those people ask, "Are you okay?" What do you do? You give them that fake smile and reply with, "Yeah, I'm fine!" It's funny because I do the same thing. We are alike in many ways you just don't see it. Ruby: I don't know if I can do this anymore, it's...
*enters doctor*
Doctor: Good Afternoon, Miss. Gonzalez how are you doing?
Rosaline: I'm fine, may I ask you something?
Doctor: *pause* Yes...
Rosaline: Why do people only ask, "What's wrong? Or Are you okay? Or What happened?" Only when they see that you aren't constantly smiling like you usually are?
Doctor: Maybe you only notice that because you only pay attention to others when something is wrong. May I ask you something?
Rosaline: No, but you're going to ask anyways.
Doctor: Who were you talking to when I walked in?
Rosaline: No one
Doctor: I heard you say, "I don't know if I can do this anymore" what do you mean by that? Rosaline: I didn't say that...
Doctor: Okay, well you'll be having a room inspection.
*the inspectors enter and search the room*
Doctor: Rosaline shall we step outside?
Inspector 1: Doctor can you come here please?
*Doctor reveals blade and diary and reads a few pages*
Doctor: Rosaline?
Rosaline: That's not mine, it's Ruby's. She said that she didn't want to be here anymore and I don't want to be left here alone.
Doctor: Rosaline, you're not alone you have multiple friends and family who care about you and
want to help you.
*enters Rosaline's mom*
Rosaline: I don't need help, I don't need anyone.
Mrs. Gonzalez: With that mindset Rosaline, you're just going to end up like your brother. Rosaline: I AM NOTHING LIKE MY BROTHER! WHY DOES EVERYONE COMPARE ME TO HIM? IF I WAS LIKE HIM YOU WOULD NOTICE! DO I ACT LIKE HIM? NO! DO I DO WHAT HE DOES? NOT NECESSARILY!
Mrs. Gonzalez: No, that's not what I meant Rosaline.
Rosaline: Then what did you mean??
Doctor: Mrs. Gonzalez? I think that's enough for today. Rosaline, what your mother is trying to say is that you're following his same path. He started off with only once a month, then twice a month, next it was weekly and finally it was daily. Do you really want to end up like him Rosaline?
Rosaline: You know what? You're just like everyone else, you tell me one thing but really mean another! Why do you guys treat me like I'm a broken or lost animal in need of help? I'm fine, I just want to get out of here... This is why I should listen to Ruby...
*All lights are out, center spotlight on Rosaline*
Ruby: Rosaline, it's going to be okay, we'll always have each other no matter what. I told you they wouldn't understand you, they only think they do. We've been trying to get them to understand for months now and to them you're just another charity case waiting to be broken. No matter what you do or say to them they will always compare you to your brother, I know you're nothing like him. Why would you want to stay here when you could be somewhere, where people understand what you're going through instead of judging your every action and talking down upon you. It's okay to be afraid of the new beginning, you know what you have to do.
*black out*
*enters Rosaline's mom*
Rosaline: I don't need help, I don't need anyone.
Mrs. Gonzalez: With that mindset Rosaline, you're just going to end up like your brother. Rosaline: I AM NOTHING LIKE MY BROTHER! WHY DOES EVERYONE COMPARE ME TO HIM? IF I WAS LIKE HIM YOU WOULD NOTICE! DO I ACT LIKE HIM? NO! DO I DO WHAT HE DOES? NOT NECESSARILY!
Mrs. Gonzalez: No, that's not what I meant Rosaline.
Rosaline: Then what did you mean??
Doctor: Mrs. Gonzalez? I think that's enough for today. Rosaline, what your mother is trying to say is that you're following his same path. He started off with only once a month, then twice a month, next it was weekly and finally it was daily. Do you really want to end up like him Rosaline?
Rosaline: You know what? You're just like everyone else, you tell me one thing but really mean another! Why do you guys treat me like I'm a broken or lost animal in need of help? I'm fine, I just want to get out of here... This is why I should listen to Ruby...
*All lights are out, center spotlight on Rosaline*
Ruby: Rosaline, it's going to be okay, we'll always have each other no matter what. I told you they wouldn't understand you, they only think they do. We've been trying to get them to understand for months now and to them you're just another charity case waiting to be broken. No matter what you do or say to them they will always compare you to your brother, I know you're nothing like him. Why would you want to stay here when you could be somewhere, where people understand what you're going through instead of judging your every action and talking down upon you. It's okay to be afraid of the new beginning, you know what you have to do.
*black out*
I really enjoyed your flash fiction story. There was a lot of twist and turns that kept you guessing throughout the story. There was a mysterious feel to it. I also liked to way you interpreted the word lonely and gave the reader a sense of what it feels like to be lonely. Good job!!
ReplyDelete-Alana Robinson, Period 4
I love it when authors give an insight on what everyone else thinks to be a problem they already have figured out but in reality they have no idea and that is exactly what you did. :)
ReplyDeleteReading this story gave me the chills especially when I read "you know what you have to do" I can relate to this story on a deep and personal level. I would have never seen or guessed that Ruby was a figment of Rosalines imagination the way it was written kept me wanting more and the beginning sentence made me intrigued. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteSarah Skibby
Period 2
This story was exciting and fulfilling to read! I can relate to ths on a personal level because I deal with a lot of anxiety! You did a great job writing the last monologue. It captures the feelings and raw emotions of the characters well. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteTommy LeMelle
Period 2
I love how you opened your story with a blurred line between imagination and reality; as a reader, I would have never guessed that Ruby was only a creation of Rosaline's imagination which created a sense of loneliness in the reader as well, to feel as Rosaline feels. The topic you chose, is one that more people should shed light on considering many struggle with such problem yet are to afraid of letting anyone know, you portrayed it in a great way.
ReplyDelete-Savanna Saikali, Period 3
Your piece was very interesting, I also understood where the characters were coming from. It made me want to read more!
ReplyDeleteI love split personalities, especially after watching Split if anyone watched it before. These dialogs are also fun to read since they aren't too short and not too long. So exciting...any sequels? ^^ - Ryan Lai
ReplyDeleteAlyssa, I want to start by saying I was thoroughly engaged in the story, the question at the beginning really draws in the reader. I also want to applaud you for your choice of writing topic. Lots of writers will shy away or turn around when it comes to such a delicate topic, fiction or not. You helped bring awareness to a topic that should receive more coverage and be talked about more. Overall, good job, would like to see more of the story.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very mind-bending story. I could imagine the whole situation in my head as it progressed. I think many teenagers can relate to how Rosaline was feeling because kids are often compared to other siblings or just feel insecure and like they don't belong. The twist of Ruby being a figment of Rosaline's imagination was also a nice touch. Great job.
ReplyDelete-Unity Montalvo period 4
I enjoyed how this piece included the main characters thoughts. Also the character reveal in the middle of the story. The characters emotions were very well illustrated I felt Rosalines anger and loneliness.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how open and free you were with this piece. It was very enjoyable because of course we all deal with anxiety as teens. -Ayo Latinwo
ReplyDeleteReading this poem is very reliable to my life and great on letting everything out you did a great job
ReplyDelete