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Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A Thousand Paper Cranes--Lelani


A small wail is let out by the newborn child. Tears of joy fill the eyes of the father as he holds his first daughter. As the child is being passed to the father, the mother coughs, blood splattering from the mouth of a new mother. Alarm is risen as the father and newborn child are separated so emergency care can be given to the wife. This was the last time Jacob saw his wife breathing.
Emily grew up with her wonderful father. Sometimes, she would catch him hugging a teddy bear. He never let her touch it and she didn’t understand why. Later on, she would walk to school with her dad and watch him run back home to get ready for work. She loved her father very much
Years passed by. Daddy would spend more time in the garden, talking to where mom has her ashes spread. The carnations grew and will never die. Daddy says it’s because momma lives inside the flowers. My seventh birthday came up and he picked one of the flowers and gave it to me saying, “You’re so big and lovely. Elizabeth would have loved you so much.” I pressed the flower into my favorite book and look at it every day since.
“I’m sorry for this news,” a doctor says to a distraught Jacob. “Your daughter has heart arrhythmia and may not see her next birthday.” Jacob breaks down in tears outside the window where his daughter is playing with other children in the waiting room.
A few days later, daddy asked me if I wanted to stop going to school and travel the world. I was so excited because there would be no more homework and I get to see new things and meet new people. Our bags were packed, the house was sold, everything we owned was now in an big mobile home.
Daddy gave me a book one night while we were stopped in California. It had beautiful figures and he says it was made out of paper. All the little creations on the cover were formed from folded paper. He gave me a stack of delicate paper and we spent hours trying out new shapes. My first attempt of a heart came out crooked and wrinkled, but we kept on practicing.
Jacob watched his daughter play with some children play in the water with some other kids her age. He woefully reminisced the ill news from her doctor. A woman approached him and she gave him a paper crane. She said, “You look sad. Have a paper crane. My legend has it that if a thousand paper cranes is made within a year by that one person, he can make a wish that the gods will grant.” The small Japanese woman grabbed a leaf from a nearby tree and began folding it into a crane. “Each one is given a little piece of life, so cherish them while you fold.” The woman sets the crane beside Jacob and begins walks away. Looking back at his daughter, he begins to thank the stranger only to find her completely out of sight.
Over the next few months, Emily has had multiple incidences of passing out and having chest pain. She pushed it aside and continued to play with her dad. New cranes were being added to their collection. Ten cranes, fifty cranes, two hundred cranes, four hundred cranes. It continued
to increase as the weeks ticked by. One string lined above Emily’s bed in the camper with her set of cranes and the other near a pot with her mother’s carnations in it with Jacob’s set of cranes. The duo made cranes every day and every night. They perfected the skills and do them near flawless. When Emily begins to have chest pain, she sits next to her mother’s flowers and makes cranes while talking to her mother. Jacob would watch from his loft and pity the fate of his one and only daughter, regretting to not be able to reverse her demise.
London, Paris, Shanghai, Tokyo, Sydney, Rio de Janeiro, and many other places have been visited by the father and daughter. Each place, hundreds of pictures were taken of Emily while hundreds of cranes were made. However, the trip was coming to an end as Emily’s birthday was approaching. Her health declined dramatically, but her will to reach a thousand cranes continued as strong as ever. Eight hundred cranes, she was admitted to a children’s hospital. She was diagnosed with stage four leukemia.
Daddy would read to me every night about a young girl that made cranes just like me. She was very sick just like me. Every time daddy reads, he would read one page and then we’d make more cranes. My string has reached nine-hundred and thirty-two cranes, each of beautiful papers. Daddy’s was hanging on the wall above the pot with mommy’s flowers. He has less than me, but is very close. Daddy would fall asleep and i grab a stack of papers and add to my collection so I stay ahead.
Nine-hundred and ninety-two cranes. Emily coughs out blood and loses consciousness. Nurses rush into the room and perform CPR on the small child. Jacob stands beside his daughter, holding her hand and begs for her to stay with him. She opens her eyes and a breathe of relief drifts through the room.
Pain is everywhere in poor Emily’s tiny body. She feels so weak from her treatment and tubes cover much of her body, making it hard to move. She keeps folding her cranes, one at a time. Sometimes, it would take her an hour to fold that one crane, but she refuses to allow her dad to help her. Emily has a strong will to finish and make a wish, hoping her mommy will hear her.
Nine-hundred and ninety-nine cranes. One half-finished resting in Emily’s paling hand. Jacob holds his daughter’s bald head and tells her how much he loves her and begs for her to stay with him. The carnations at the end of the bed wilts and droops and Emily smiles for one last time and whispers, “I love you too daddy. I’m joining mommy and will wait for you.” Her last crane falls out of her hand, finally complete, but unable to do anything for the poor daughter or father.

13 comments:

  1. This actually gave me the feels. Impressive

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  2. Oops, sorry for the double comment. I didn't know what happened. -Edmund Yim

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  3. I really like the fact that the cranes brought father and daughter together and made their bond stronger. Also the symbols, the carnations, the teddy bear and the cranes representing hope and attachment. When Emily died, Jacob's hope and life dies as well, as seen with the carnations dying. There was so much detail, that I could envision the scenes to the dot. Good job!-Tiffany Soetojo

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  4. The changing between first person point of view and a narrator point of view was an interesting choice. Heart wrenching story. -Briana Kiphen

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  5. This story is really sad but good. It really makes realize that some things are just out of our control. - Jonathan Castillo

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  6. I enjoyed reading your story and how the incentive of the cranes made a stronger connection between the father and daughter.

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  7. This was so emotional for me! Wow I loved it so much. It made me realize people have their lives like this and it is so upsetting. I also loved the first point of view to narrator as well. It was amazing -Mercedes Bradford

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  8. It was nice to see how even when things were going so horribly bad for her she still put all that she could into enjoying life and making those cranes. "Emily has had multiple incidences of passing out and having chest pain. She pushed it aside and continued to play with her dad."It really hit me when I read that line thinking of the overwhelming positivity that Emily had. - Ramsey Perez

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  9. This piece was fantastic. All the emotion in the piece gave me the chiils. I admire the though you put into this and your vocabulary put it over the top for me. It was a great read. -Justin Hamel

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. This piece was very emotional indeed. I found it interesting that you shifted from third person omniscient and first person continuously throughout the story. However, I believe that this allowed the audience to connect with little Emily and caused the ending to leave a greater impact. The ending was absolutely heart breaking and made me realize that every moment of life is precious.

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  12. This piece is absolutely heart breaking. I loved the way you built the relationship with between the daughter and the father. The illusiveness of the mysterious Japanese woman is a nice touch to the overall story. I would recommend some proof reading because there was some mistakes that made it a bit hard for the reader to understand. Besides that, the overall story and its message is evident and wonderfully presented.

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  13. Well it's currently 10:48PM and I made the mistake of reading this. Now don't get me wrong, this piece is gut wrenching and incredibly well-written, especially with the constant shift of first to third person. However I meant I made a mistake as I read this to my girlfriend and we are now both in tears over this story, thank you for this, it's honestly my favorite writing in this blog so far. -Oscar Bustamante

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