My life, as everyone knows, is very short from beginning to end. I am usually
incorporated from seven different sources, all mashed up, in order to create the beautiful creation of what I am today, each source from different parts of the world.
The first, the basis, the platform, the one that makes me what I am. Raised in the dying heat, fed countless times, in a consistent cycle, in order to create variety. Later, pulled out, in order to become the very next evolution. Then, processed through lines and lines, until it becomes no more, barely, a tenth of what it originally was. Chemists, of what I would say, proceed to change me even more, crushing me, squeezing me, stretching me, until the platform is set, and thus, creates the basis of my life.
Secondly, I wake up, running in the fields, relaxing with family, from day until night. Each day, I grow, until it hits.... One day, I’m shipped off, pulled down, processed through machines, until I become multiple globs of just edible substances. Each glob filled with a section of my past life.
Third, all day, I relax in the open, taking in all of life’s energy, in return giving off life essentials. Every now and then, I get friends that I can hang out with, until.... I become backstabbed, destroyed, left with a literal hole in my life. Even through this, once I’m perfectly awake, I am plucked, shipped away in a box, also to become processed, packaged to separate bags, with all alike pieces of life.
Fourth, I am usually living through life, upside - down, angry as the color red, while also having the worst haircut in the entire world. Sometimes, I have friends, but if I’m not careful, they can destroy me at any second. But, mostly, I become a sacred part, adding such vital essence to my creation.
Lastly, I turn from my parents onto one of their substances. Due to science, they’ve found out I am hostile, and decide to change my overall qualities. I feel sad, but at least it can give such huge benefits to the overall society happening around me. Usually I would come in as a block soon after all the processing, but most of the time, due to my final creation, I become sharp edged shapes, able to become one whole size fit for each individual of society.
All these components would then soon, become transformed, as well as combined, similar to I would say, Power Rangers.The first, becoming darker and darker, until one side is perpendicularly straight, as most of its compositions have its structure changed. The second, molded into shape, creating a crisp barrier around me, shaping me into the center of the overall creation. The third, folded in half, perfect as a compliment to the creation. The fourth, thinly cut, packed with acid, coming in two different forms that can change the way society views me. The last, usually added last, on top of the second, adding such variety and transformation to the overall look of the creation.
incorporated from seven different sources, all mashed up, in order to create the beautiful creation of what I am today, each source from different parts of the world.
The first, the basis, the platform, the one that makes me what I am. Raised in the dying heat, fed countless times, in a consistent cycle, in order to create variety. Later, pulled out, in order to become the very next evolution. Then, processed through lines and lines, until it becomes no more, barely, a tenth of what it originally was. Chemists, of what I would say, proceed to change me even more, crushing me, squeezing me, stretching me, until the platform is set, and thus, creates the basis of my life.
Secondly, I wake up, running in the fields, relaxing with family, from day until night. Each day, I grow, until it hits.... One day, I’m shipped off, pulled down, processed through machines, until I become multiple globs of just edible substances. Each glob filled with a section of my past life.
Third, all day, I relax in the open, taking in all of life’s energy, in return giving off life essentials. Every now and then, I get friends that I can hang out with, until.... I become backstabbed, destroyed, left with a literal hole in my life. Even through this, once I’m perfectly awake, I am plucked, shipped away in a box, also to become processed, packaged to separate bags, with all alike pieces of life.
Fourth, I am usually living through life, upside - down, angry as the color red, while also having the worst haircut in the entire world. Sometimes, I have friends, but if I’m not careful, they can destroy me at any second. But, mostly, I become a sacred part, adding such vital essence to my creation.
Lastly, I turn from my parents onto one of their substances. Due to science, they’ve found out I am hostile, and decide to change my overall qualities. I feel sad, but at least it can give such huge benefits to the overall society happening around me. Usually I would come in as a block soon after all the processing, but most of the time, due to my final creation, I become sharp edged shapes, able to become one whole size fit for each individual of society.
All these components would then soon, become transformed, as well as combined, similar to I would say, Power Rangers.The first, becoming darker and darker, until one side is perpendicularly straight, as most of its compositions have its structure changed. The second, molded into shape, creating a crisp barrier around me, shaping me into the center of the overall creation. The third, folded in half, perfect as a compliment to the creation. The fourth, thinly cut, packed with acid, coming in two different forms that can change the way society views me. The last, usually added last, on top of the second, adding such variety and transformation to the overall look of the creation.
All components of my life, my creation, all having to go through such hardships in
order to create what I am today. The one, the last, the only, Hamburger...
I was honestly really confused while I read this, but once I read the last sentence I laughed and reread it with understanding. It was a very interesting take that I didn't expect.
ReplyDeleteSame, the whole time I thought it was metal being used and reused for different stuff then I saw what it really was and thought it was funny.
DeleteI was crying at the last sentence. I honestly wasn't expecting that. The whole story was confusing but it all made sense with that last sentence. It was funny. - Jonathan Castillo
ReplyDeleteI loved your concept of taking a simple hamburger and breaking it down to showcase all of its complex components. The way you told the story of ingredients like the cow gave me as a reader an easy idea of what you were describing;however, I found it a bit difficult to figure out what other ingredients you were talking about at times. Overall, your tale of a hamburger was comedic and insightful. Great work ! -Hannah Espejo
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing. At first i felt so bad for you as i thought you were going through some type of abuse and really deep personal struggles... until i read the last sentence and I laughed for an extended amount of time. Thank you for making my day. _ kenzie Logan
ReplyDeleteI was confused as what you were trying to write but after reading over and getting the concept of a simple hamburger. I really like the whole idea and how descriptive you were when writing this piece. It was great and funny, good job!
ReplyDeleteI love this story it's hilarious when you understand the whole concept and I enjoyed the whole story. I like how the whole story is set up because it makes the reader think and intrigues, so I though the whole concept was very clever.
ReplyDeleteI think it's amazing how you saw so much complexity in just an ordinary hamburger. I was sucked in, reading every word, trying to figure out what exactly you were talking about. Then I read the last sentence and I laughed. It made me stop and think that maybe the simple things in life aren't that simple.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh a little aha but its a cool way to describe something that we didn't know until the end! honestly thought you were talking about someones life and when i would read it I would imagine it in my mind but i couldnt process it until the very end aha! Cool, descriptive, story!! Really enjoyed it!!! - Ian Mendoza
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how you took a unique approach to writing this and then at then end, made it all come together. While this approach was confusing at times, it did keep me intrigued all the way through so I could figure out what it was about at the end. - Taylor Clayton
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought u we're trying to explain yourself in a very confusing hypothetical way but when I finished the peice I finally understood all of it. Funny story, great job.
ReplyDeleteI was kind of confused reading this but it made me chuckled reading it at the end and it made more sense to me now. I think that your piece was very creative! and i liked how you put it all together as your "creation".
ReplyDeleteI loved this piece, I was very confused at first, but when I read the last line it cleared everything up. It was a great idea, I thought it very unexpecting as well, but what put it over the top for me was the attention to detail. Well done. -Justin Hamel
ReplyDeleteJust like everyone else, I was so confused as to what i was reading. I didn't think i was reading about the life of a hamburger; I thought i was reading about a person. I think this piece was great! The language used to describe something so simple and common made this story really good and extremely creative. The words used to create this also gave it a serious tone, just to have the giant, humorous twist of me reading about a hamburger. Overall, this is just great and made me laugh. --Kayla Leonard
ReplyDeleteJust like everyone else, I was super confused at first, but for some reason I was also relating to all the intensity that was going on in the life of a hamburger...weird (maybe my life was based off the hamburger?) - Ryan Lai
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I thought it was really creative how you turned something so simple, like a hamburger, into something so complex, like its different aspects of it and how it relates to us. As I was reading through, I was so confused, but, I kept reading because I was interested to see if it would make sense in the end and it did. I loved the comparisons that you made, because I thought that you were talking about an actual person, until I found out that it was a hamburger in the end. Overall, this was very well written and you did a fantastic job! :)
ReplyDelete-Lynelle Elhajjmoussa
I really enjoyed reading this flash fiction from beginning to end! It wasn't a common ordinary fiction folk, but it was enjoyable, confusing, unexpected but mainly laughable. In one fiction you were able to incorporate such imagery, characterization making it funny and easy to read, with such terms mashed together that went well with one another. As i glad to read this, I am even more glad the last sentence made the entire tale about a hamburger.
ReplyDelete- Rachel Ree
I am glad that I came across this fiction tale, as it wasn't the ordinary common fiction tale, but it was different with different styles and components into one. I enjoyed the different emotions I came across while reading this, emotions of laughter, confusion that was all placed into this tale. You were able to incorporate imagery, and different words together that complimented one another when placed, and it was very well written! As reading the last sentence I am glad that this piece was dedicated and written for a hamburger.
ReplyDeleteConfusion turned into comedy! I loved it as soon as I read the ending and was able to make sense of it all! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis flash fiction was very good. By the part where you wrote, "Third, all day, I relax in the open," I realized this was about a cow's life from beginning to end. It does have a comical appeal and literally describes what happens to cows before they become a hamburger. We do not get this side of the story when we eat meat and I am fine with that. They are just hamburgers to be consumed.
ReplyDelete-Ezinne Abba
The structure of this piece pairs perfectly with your concept. I enjoyed the little ominous tone the writing sets and i think my favorite part in general has to be the fact that its about the inhumane sides of our food industry. The perspective really gives great insight on the matter. Excellent all around.
ReplyDelete-Alessandro Seminario
It lowkey too till the end to completely make full sense of the story but that just made it SOOO much better and more enjoyable when I read it a second time. I like how you took your time to break down the components of a hamburger and made readers truly think while reading. - Ayo Latinwo
ReplyDeleteThis story put the biggest smile on my face as I was reading it. I assumed that I was reading about some type of food being made I just couldn't tell what food. The last line of the story gave me the clarity I needed and made me laugh, so thank you for both a good read and a bit of humor. - Aaryn Cranon
ReplyDeleteThis story was so interesting, I never knew I was reading about a hamburger the entire time, you're imagery and detail was perfect and truly made the story so interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteLeonardo A. Lopez
Such an unexpected turn, a great twist. I really love how hilarious it came to be, up until the end it was very questionable but the subtle hints really brought the end together. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteThis piece at first didn't make sense to me with all the imagery and then the end hit and everything made sense! I totally was not expecting the story to be describing the life of a hamburger! Great job! - Altierre Paris
ReplyDeleteThis really made me laugh. It started off so deep and dark i just wanted to give you a hug and tell you everything will be okay, but the last sentence really brought your whole idea together and lightened the mood entirely. I admire your descriptive detail, this was very nice to read.
ReplyDelete