Not the Man I Used to Know--Kameryn

Hospitals. A very dark, gloomy, and morbid place to be. For three years almost every waking moment was spent in one, moving from hospital to hospital to find the right one. Tests were ran on him, covered in IVs, stuck in a nauseating room for hours or even days. The walls covered in white paint, smelled of the sickness that was within each room or rubber. Every trip made, made him weaker and weaker. Come to find out he was dealing with cancer, brain cancer. We were told his cancer was located on the left side of his brain just above his ear, and that he would have to undergo chemo and have a risky open brain surgery. Months went by before we found a neurologist that could do the surgery, my family as strong as could be. Always staying positive, praying, and keeping hope as well as faith. June 26, 2014, the day of his surgery, my family and I drove out to LA at 5 o’clock in the morning. As he went in we all stayed in the waiting room, left with nothing but our faith and the love of my family…… 10 hours passed and finally he was out of his surgery, left with a huge scar going from the top of his head to just below the middle of his left ear. Seeing him smile after the surgery and listen to how he thought it was cool that during the surgery he was talking to the doctors as they worked on his brain. We were told that most of the cancer was gone but he still had to go through chemo to hopefully get rid of the rest. My family willing to do anything to get rid of this cancer. Birthdays, family events, and some holidays were spent in those nauseating rooms, my family not minding the scenery just as long as we were together. More months passed and finally able to leave the hospital, now just having to go to the hospital a couple days out of the week to finish chemo. When he had just started chemo he seemed fine and normal he just wanted to work on his cars or the backyard. He was living his life normally, attended many baseball games, my volleyball games, and family events. My family and I had thought that everything was going to be okay…. As we got further and further into chemo, we noticed he wasn’t the man we used to know, his hair slowly fading and being lost, his skin turning pale to yellow, his eyes becoming very tired and always exhausted. My grandpa, the strongest man that I knew and grew up with, weakened, he could no longer do things on his own. He could no longer get up to use the bathroom without falling, he could no longer eat solids because swallowing became difficult, his words no longer made sense because they were all jumbled together and were slurred. I remember tears coming to my eyes while I asked my grandma, “why is it so hard for gramps to swallow?” and turning away so fast looking out the window so no one saw how I was also losing pieces of me. My grandpa’s condition worsened, he became frustrated that he could no longer be independent and had to rely on my grandma for everything. At this time my family still had to try and continue on with the “normality” of our lives because we still had work and school. Days passed not knowing which was going to be his last so everyday after school and work we drove out to my grandma’s house to spend the precious time with our family. I remember sitting in my grandparents room just looking at my grandpa, no longer the man the I knew but the man I was becoming to know. The man that with all my strength I tried to make smile. I wanted to try and lighten the mood for him, be something he could have hope in because he knew I had hope in him. More days and hours passed going through the same routines of work, school, and grandma’s. Then November 17, 2015 came along. I was sitting in fourth period in Mr. Hall’s class watching the movie “Of Mice and Men” when I got a pass to leave right away. Walking down to where my mom parked, confused and panicking I see my sister also got the pass, we run to the car and get in. Silence filled that car, and tears running down our cheeks, my mom finally says, “it’s grandpa, this could be the day, so we are going to go spend it with him.” After hearing that I wanted to totally lose it but I couldn’t because I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. Arriving once again to my grandparents house was the hardest thing on the planet. Everyone in my family was there and company filled the room, all of us just sitting around trying to make the most out of the situation. At 8:29 p.m., we lost him……. and now a piece of me is missing down on earth but I know that it is up in heaven, healthy and happy. Still today it is hard to accept but I was told this is life. Life is rough. Time is everything. I have learned that people come and go, nothing is ever permanent. Life was given to us as a time to be alive, in which many chances are accustomed to experience different things and just live life. Feeling alone in this world is possible, but making yourself happy and learning to overcome any obstacle thrown at you is the key to success. I was brought back to looking at life in a new perspective. More so now I cherish every moment I am alive for, every person that crosses my path, teaches me a new lesson, and my faith is strong because I know with these things I will be okay. Life is short and full of beauty and love notice it before it is too late. Rest in Peace Gramps…. <3