Discrimination--Alexis

As an adolescent child, white supremacists’ racist behavior towards African Americans is what I knew to be the only racism occurring in society. It never crossed my mind at such a young age that discrimination towards other races was a severe conflict in different areas of the world. My perception changed and I soon became aware of the racism and offensive stereotyping aimed at different ethnic groups when I moved and started school in a primarily Hispanic community. Coming from a household of both Hispanic and Asian heritage was not common in this community and due to my differences, discrimination and rejection was typical for my family to encounter on a daily basis. Being partially Hispanic did not ensure the fact that I would fit into the cliques at school. In fact, none of my classmates acknowledged that I was of Hispanic background at all due to my Chinese last name and physical appearances that classified me as Asian, and, in their eyes, an outcast. It was difficult and confusing to encounter this type of rejection because I believed I fit into the category of normality due to my Hispanic background but my stereotypical Asian appearance seemed to dissuade acceptance from these people. Being half Hispanic and half Asian made bullying confusing to understand growing up. It was hard going to school and focusing on my academics when all I could think about was fitting in, becoming more social, and making friends. None of my classmates would accept me into their groups because I looked different and acted different. Little things like bringing Asian foods from home, reading manga books and talking about anime shows were considered weird to the kids at school. Even things like having a last name of Asian culture was mocked upon. I would constantly ask my parents things like, “Why do people make fun of what I look like?” and “Why did people mock my last name for fun?”. What made this part of my life most confusing was the fact that I thought I fit into the category of the norm because just like everyone else, I am human and I have two eyes, one heart and ten fingers. Yes, I am of Hispanic background but my Asian characteristics did not ensure acceptance to the people in that community. I did not satisfy the standards of many students in order to fit in. Classmates labeled me as “Weird”, “Odd” and even “Funny looking”, due to the way my eyes were shaped. Things like my lunch that I brought to school was judged upon. I didn’t know whether to apologize for being different because I bring rice for lunch instead of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or if I should be grateful that I even have food to eat. Being a minority in that community resulted in me dealing with verbal and physical abuse as well from classmates. This continuously lowered my self esteem and forced me to learn and cope with my emotions in hiding. People in my neighborhood and school not only treated me as an outcast because of my race but of my struggles in speaking and stuttering complications as well. I grew up speaking Spanish as a child and transitioning to speaking English was difficult to me. It resulted in me taking speech classes that were supposed to better my pronunciation of English words and improve my flow in sentences. Students and even teachers tended to look down on me as the lowest succeeding person in class because twice a week I was required me to get pulled out of class and go to these special courses. All this neglect and doubtfulness of my intelligence I have received from people challenged my tolerance which has made me a stronger person today. I realized as I grew older that if I want to achieve my goals, I needed to stop letting others set a standard for me or else I wouldn’t be able to reach my full potential. Moving away from that community and entering a high school with a wider range of diversity taught me to become proud of who I am and the cultures my family comes from. Being exposed to discrimination and rejection at such a young age has helped develop my character and lead me to feed off negativity and use it as a source of motivation. I was raised to keep to myself as a way to avoid trouble, but this social strategy has only resulted in people seeing me as a prey. This part of my life has made an impact on how I perceive discrimination and racism. I am no longer the shy and weak outcast but instead, an intelligent and unique individual who is driven to succeed.