Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Everything Will Be Okay--Benjamin
My father was a very affectionate person that I have admired. Me and my father
enjoyed every single minute we have spent together. Every morning I questioned myself
how long this moment will last as I never wanted it to end. He was my inspiration, he
made me the person I am today. But, a day came that made my heart dropped. The
news came yesterday that my father had been assigned to serve in the military for
WWII. These were the days that has torn me apart. My father’s words were, “Everything
will be okay, I promise I will be back.” As I seen him leave, I had a feeling like this was
the very last time I will ever see him again. Nothing was the same since he has left. I
had no one to hang out with, not my mother, nor my friends. Everything was so different
after my father left for the war. My father always promised me that he will come back. I
had doubts in my mind, the worst that can happen. I tried very hard to stay positive and
courageous but every single day he was gone, I felt depressed and empty. I was
trapped in this dark room of desolate wasteland. There was nothing that made me
jovial whether it was my mom trying to cheer me up or my friends wanting to hang out
with me. I always sat in my room worrying and thinking about what could happen to my
father. I always told myself, “Everything will be okay,” “Everything will be okay.” just like
what my dad told me. I finally got a news about my dad. What I have heard torn me
apart. These were the days I was questioning my own life. All the words he told me was
a lie. He lied to me and left me in total darkness. I sat in my room thinking if this was all
real. As tears ran through my face remembering the laughs and the smiles. I spent a
year feeling desolated and dispirited isolated in a black box. He was the light of my
world and realized that after living without him. Everything feels different as he left my
life. It was the little things that I have notice that I missed. All this happened because of
war.
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I admire the complexity of the story. On one hand, the timeless concept of losing a loved one like a father or mother is expressed. On the other, a criticism of war and its effects on one's loved ones is presented. This is a very compelling piece that makes one question whether war is the answer.
ReplyDeleteI liked your vision of loss and how war affects those left behind. I think that the feeling of loss would be the overall theme of this story and many could relate to this theme. -Rachel Smith
ReplyDeleteThis story was amazing! I like how you setup the connection to the father and the child because it helps express the pain that the main character feels towards the end of the story. I also liked how you showed how wars affect families that have relatives in them.
ReplyDelete-Matthew Jimenez
I do not know what I would do if I lost my dad. The emotion you used gave me chills. I was very sympathetic toward the young boy and felt his pain. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHi there Benjamin, I commend you on creating a story that highlights a reality that many families during, not only World War II but wars throughout history must deal with. Families have lost beloved husbands, brothers, fathers and friends to war. The blood shed, the destruction, the pain war brings is absolutely terrible. Why do we fight wars to find peace...?
ReplyDeleteI really loved this story, you did a fantastic job of setting up a close relationship between father and son and how quickly it can be ripped away, in this case by something tragic and heartbreaking, war.
ReplyDeleteI love how you immediately described the bond between a father and a child. I also appreciate that you brought some light onto how some families are affected by war. Great job! -Lauren J.
ReplyDeleteI like the story line to begin with because that was a very common feeling of children during that time. The emotion of the child really reflected the feelings during the era.
ReplyDeleteThinking about losing one parent is really hard, but when you try to imagine actually losing one is even harder. To actually see yourself, even if it is just in your imaginations, to me is very scary. This piece really did hit me hard. -Martina Panganiban
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate a story like this one that really reflects people's mindset after the loss of a loved one. We try to convince ourselves that it isn't true and focus on other things like the lies the father told to ease the pain. Well written.
ReplyDeleteThis type of story is very relatable to a lot of people. What I’ve learned is that we all wish we could buy ourselves more time, because time is what causes us to lose certain things as days go by. This piece had me feeling its pain. Thanks for this fantastic story of yours.
ReplyDeleteI like the use of details when you explained how the main character felt. It's unfortunate that this story was a reality to many during that time.
ReplyDeleteI love how you chose to add WWII, just a little detail that personally appealed to me. The way you described the depression the son felt, all of the dark imagery really did provoke emotion; that was what I really enjoyed from your piece, the fact that there was emotion and that it is something that people go through, really an eye opener to other people's happenings. Loved your writing!
ReplyDeleteYour piece was very sad but accurately captures emotions associated with the loss of a loved one. You tied it into the real cost of war and the destruction on and off the battlefield very well.
ReplyDeleteThis story hit home for me especially since you address losing your dad. My dad is getting older and he has a lot of health conditions. . . he's also my twin - sort of. Anyways, the point is I don't know what I'd do without him. Good job. -J'Noie Parker
ReplyDeleteWar, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. This piece just highlights the heartbreak and despair caused by war. This piece couldn't have been more well timed, in fact our "president" just said, "We have to start winning wars again". In my opinion we need to stop fighting them. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a powerful piece that I feel that many people and families can relate to! I love how you described the bond between the father and the son. It honestly just made it even more heartbreaking to know that he was gone. Great piece overall!
ReplyDelete-Gabbie B.
This is a really meaningful piece and I can't even imagine how you feel about your loss but everything happens for a reason, so this should be your motivation to be great because he is watching you from heaven and will never leave your side. Sorry for your loss, he is in my prayers.
ReplyDelete-Justin Huggins P.5 Solano
I have always loved the period drama/ historical fiction genre because it always the reader, who would already know the setting of the situation , but then the characters add relatablility to the situation and make it a much better reading experience.
ReplyDeleteThis piece hits spot on of another point of view of war and its impact on the children. The bond you created with the boy and his father helped me as a reader connect and have sympathy for the character. Good Job with this piece!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you told such a strong story with short and simple sentences. Really nice piece.
ReplyDelete- Andy Burgos
This was a relatable piece for me, considering I've had a parent leave this world much too soon. There's nothing worse than losing a parent... especially when they were also your best friend. You captured the unbearable heartache of it very well! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis perfectly depicts the families of WWII and shows us what they would have went though by losing a family member in war. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI'm certain a lot of people can relate to know how it feels to lose a loved one. I liked it because it gave a somewhat background on how close the two were before the dad left and how much they loved and cherished their father.
ReplyDeleteI loved this piece, it makes you question if war is really worth any of this and why war even exist. Losing people to something that is in my opinion quite stupid and not worth it makes me irritated because like in this story children loose there fathers and mothers to war. I commend you for writing this piece with 2 main points as well, war and the bond between parents and there children. Great piece.
ReplyDelete-Victoria Heredia
I think you really conveyed the story to the audience that they can relate. This story is based on the reality that many people are going through in the world. It's very motivating. Great job! -Lisa Ryu
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this piece and how you describe the importance of those in armed forces that sacrifice themselves for our country, especially losing those you love to war. You really gave me the feels and brought out the anger and hate that war brings. This story was well written in describing the pain that comes with death. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteI can not imagine losing a parent to war, but you really portrayed what it is like very well. There was very strong emotions and I could feel the despair of the speaker. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your piece. At first I chose to read your Flash Fiction piece because I thought it would be something completely different and not so intense, but it was intense in a good way. I really started thinking about my own dad and what I would do if I lost him and my heart broke. Your piece was well-written and made me feel like my own dad was going away to war and I almost died (not really of course). Overall I really enjoyed how your piece related the very real problem of loved ones being lost serving our country and the resentment some individuals feel when this happens, great job!
ReplyDelete-Bryanna Torres
War is such a horrible thing. It has the power to tear the strongest relationships apart which breaks my heart. Your piece is really easy to relate to and the thought of losing a someone I share a close relationship with is unbearable. Overall, I really enjoyed the story, great job.
ReplyDeleteWar can bring about the greatest schisms in families and friendships, and the cost of war is very prevalent in this piece. I appreciate your sharing of this experience, as countless people have suffered as well, and I think this piece really shows the reality of war.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a beautiful and heart felt piece, I really felt your emotion through your diction and imagery, great job.
ReplyDeleteThis was a little morbid, well at least to me it was cus i tend to look at things a lot more differently, but, it's a reality we all live in, just not as exposed to it as others.
ReplyDelete- Francis Talla
I really liked how this touched on the emotion many people go through as a result of war. It took us through an experience some can relate to and can help others understand. Great work!
ReplyDeleteThe piece has a tone of reminiscence. The tone assisted the speaker to describe his memories to his veteran father and allows the readers to reflect upon the fortune of having a complete family.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is touching. I dont even want to know what it'd be like if i lost my dad. Good job!! - karina l.
ReplyDelete