What was love?--Shannon

 About a little one I was when everything seemed right, so vivid, so perfect. Running around in our yard that felt so huge, playing with my older brother, mom telling us “When the street lights come on you guys need to be inside”.

Those words stuck forever in my head with her voice which was stern but protective, my dad being at her side agreeing with her every word yet not being fully engaged.
My brother and I always made sure to have fun outside everyday sunshine or not, the outdoors were where we felt free, at ease.
Running from friends house, door to door, corner to corner, block to block and so on.
We knew all the kids on our street which always made for good entertainment.
We were known as the “purest family you’d get in North Long Beach” on our street, neighbors would say “The Thompson family” as if we were some cheesy sitcom.
And that's what we presented ourselves as, so much so that I started to believe it myself at that age.
Looking back I know now that there is no such thing as the “purest” or “perfect” family no matter how many times people say it, no matter what people may seem to see.
Families fight, they argue, they disagree, but then they make up and get over petty drama which makes being a family worth it.
Because sometimes you have to learn how to put your pride aside, because sometimes you have to learn how to compromise, because sometimes you have to learn how to communicate.
We may have all worn matching outfits or sent those yearly christmas cards greeted “From my family to yours Merry Christmas”.
But that does not define a family.

Families grow together, spend time together, laugh together.
Maybe that is not it either, maybe I’m the wrong person to ask for my family is no longer whole. I guess we are the epitome of “not knowing what goes on behind closed doors”.
But being about four or five everything couldn’t have been better.
I still applaud my parents for not letting their kids see the not so nice side of their “picture frame” marriage
One thing for sure is that they were so good that they had their own children fooled.
Now yes they argued like normal couples do but they still seemed like there spark was still there and wasn’t going anywhere, the passion, the inside jokes, the memories still seemed to be alive, but their love for each other wasn’t
Granted they were high school sweethearts and they were so in love at the beginning, but with young loves often times causes growth and sometimes people grow apart which is normal.
I remember when everything changed.
Six or seven by this time there was no more seeing daddy everyday, we had moved, mom had moved us

from Long Beach to Fontana California.
She said mommy and daddy needed time apart which I also didn’t understand at that time. I didn’t know what was going on, more confused than saddened.
The first night was the worst, because that's when it all sank in.
I wasn’t going to see dad as often anymore, once I realized that I was furious with my mom asking her why she took daddy away from me “He was my best friend” I would say through tears.
In doing this not realizing the pain I was putting her through on top of everything else that was going on. My mom never exposed her pain to me and my older brother, but I sensed a difference in her, she was hurt, as one would be after a divorce.
Although they both weren’t happy my mom was hurt by the betrayal.
Divorces are hard on everyone.

Now I know though that love is not always supposed to be good days, there are bad with the good and it’s difficult at times but no relationship nor marriage is perfect no matter how it may seem.
We are all outsiders looking in at all times.
And although their marriage didn’t work out they still are good friends to this day because love is unpredictable.

Marriage is not for everyone and although my family is now split it doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing, some people just don’t belong together which I have come to learn at a young age.
And to anyone with happily married parents that are still together, please be thankful!