Faded in Pink Petals--Zion

 

This was back in 2010 when I was 8 years old, and at the time I wasn't truly being happy like how the average child would be. Prior to 2010, in 2009 my grandpa had gotten into an accident, moving me out of the way to save me from a car that was coming by. After that incident, that's all I was really thinking about, and to be honest that had in a way stripped my innocence and turned me into a hopeless kid. At least before this moment, I thought I was fully hopeless and a lost cause. I was out with my mom going to this baby shower for her friend, and I only had to tag along because there was nobody else in my house at the time. As stated before, my demeanor was cold and reluctant, so basically going anywhere that wasn't in my interest had upset me greatly. My mom was in the car asking me what was wrong, but little old me wouldn't tell her the pain that I was in because I was too embarrassed to express my sad emotions. The car ride was pretty much quiet the whole time after she asked, until we finally arrived at the baby shower. There wasn't anything unusual about this gathering, people were happy and socializing, altogether just enjoying themselves completely as they should. But again, the limit that I was putting on myself was too great for me to let myself enjoy life as a little kid; I felt that this burden on my shoulders was too great for me to sustain and cope with. Yet in the midst of my negative internal thoughts, I had spotted this tree with pink petals on it. There was a little bit of wind, and you could see that the petals on the tree were slowly flying off because of the wind. Slowly I had separated from my mom and went off to go and look at this tree for myself. I felt captivated to the tree, as if the the slight pink in the petals were calling my name this whole time without me noticing. I'd say that I was standing there for maybe a good 20 to 30 minutes until suddenly the wind had picked up by a lot, and many petals had fell down at once from the tree. Somehow it felt like the petals were swirling around me, like the tree had felt what I was doing to myself and wanted to show me something. All I could do was just stare at them fall around me, and while they were falling I just started to cry. Tears wouldn't stop falling from my face, to this day I could never tell you the reason why this random tree had broke me down into tears. But all I know is that in this moment I had this state of euphoria, so much of it that the only way my body could react to it was by crying. It felt like for the first time in a while I had finally found my peace again, and that I could look at life in a brighter perspective than before. What I took internally from those petals falling was that there is still beauty in life even when the pain that you feel seems so controlling and strong within yourself. My mom had seen me on the floor crying from afar, and was scared because out of nowhere she comes back to see her kid looking distraught and hurt from something. She picked me up by my shoulders, and over and over was asking me what had happened to me. I didn't answer because my tears were too strong, but finally I had the strength to muster up the words, "I finally feel happy again.". I'd say that this might have been the most important moment of my life to this day, because if it wasn't for that random tree and its pink petals falling because of the wind, my outlook on life would be so negative and corrupted. Honestly, I will never forget the amount of happiness that I gained from that elegant swirling tornado of pink around me. My mom had held me by the hand and took me to meet another kid to keep me occupied, and my whole mood was so much more different than before. I was moving around like I had no worries in the world, just like any other normal kid. We actually had to leave early, and it was sad because I was actually having a lot of fun with that other kid. I had gotten back to the car before my mom did, and immediately knocked out when I put my seatbelt on. I fell asleep in relief, in relief that I didn't feel like I had to blame myself for

what happened to my grandpa, and that I could have this memory of life being faded in pink petals...