Fortnite--Keilan

Who knew that such a silly game would be such a monumental building block for my personality and outlook on life? Prior to sophomore year, I found no interest in childish video games, especially if they had weapons called a “boogie-bomb.” However, as I became more and more intrigued by its silly, yet cut-throat gameplay, I figured that there would be no harm in trying it out after society had already been completely consumed by it. One thing led to another, and I found myself playing for hours on end. The all-nighters I began to pull no longer were because of my classes, but had been replaced with a third-person shooter game filled with llama pinatas and dusty divots. My friends and I had been so devoured by this game that we no longer referred to each other as our actual names, but with our in-game names. You may know us as Keilan, Amorette, Michelle, Anel and Melissa, but we knew each other as ​FluffyCake, costcofanaccount, chickindonuts, organelle, ​and​ CookieMonster36.​ This addiction grew past the point of no return to say the least.

To change scenery, during sophomore year, I was part of the Academic Decathlon team. It was an extracurricular activity that involved the participants to study several subjects under a central theme, in which schools would compete by taking assessments and comparing scores for each subject. There were two teams, a Junior Varsity and Varsity team, both with 3 subcategories of 3 people with a total of 9 people per team. Part of the competition included a speech and interview portion, in which individuals would prepare their own speech and be interviewed by several judges and would be scored on both content and professionalism.

One week before the speech and interview day of the competition, which took place sometime around January of 2019, we were preparing for the competition by reading out our own speeches to our Academic Decathlon peers. In my head, I was almost sure that I was not going to make the team and become an alternate - a substitute that would fill in for any individual absent on competition day- so I did not create a speech. However, our coach required that we all had to prepare for our speech regardless of whether we were an alternate or not, which sadly meant that I had to prepare a speech.

Three periods before I had to recite said speech, I finally figured out what I would write about : Fortnite. I had no intention to make a serious and deep speech as I figured that I wouldn’t have that much fun creating it, and I also figured that since it was basically guaranteed that I would not receive a spot on the team, I might as well just have a little bit of fun with it.
Although it was a poorly written speech, as I shared it with my friends, I received nothing but positive feedback as they commented that my speech was both comedic and lighthearted. When I read my speech out loud in front of the Academic Decathlon class, I remember experiencing the weird sensation of being calm. Normally, whenever I am faced with the challenge of public speaking, my fingers, toes, and ears become so cold they are almost numb, and I get so nervous that it feels like someone dropped an anvil on my stomach. However, when I was reading my speech, I felt a bit elated. I remember feeling the warmth of everyone’s laughter in the classroom and was comforted by the smiles and curiosity that could be seen on everyone’s faces. I was no longer reading a speech but was having a simple conversation with my audience. I read aloud about how my friends and I would scream through FaceTime requesting for someone to revive us. I talked about the countless friends that we made over the period of just a few months, how

heartbroken we would be when we got 2nd place, and how we formed the best of memories simply by playing a quirky video game. Minutes flew by and I was already done reciting my speech, and the warmth that I felt from people’s faces disappeared, just like the disappearing warmth of a fresh load of laundry. The last sentence I read from my speech was bittersweet and reminded me of all of the memories that I made with my friends. As I walked back to my desk, reality began to seep in, and I sat down with a weight on my shoulders as I thought about the next weeks’ tests. I truly felt empty as just a few minutes prior I reminisced all of the lasting memories that I made with my friends only to be shoved back into the depression of reality and “real-life problems.”

A week passed by and I found myself not being able to remember a single sentence of my speech in front of the two judges. One was a middle-aged woman with short, red hair, purple lipstick, brown eyes, pale skin, and a very defined jawline. The other judge was an older man who was completely bald with tanish skin with white stubble that covered his chin and cheeks. The woman wore a white blouse with flowers on it and black dress pants while the man wore a buttoned up hawaiian shirt with jean shorts. The room was about the same size as a T-building, and as I was waiting to walk in, I was so nervous for my speech that I nibbled on my fingernails until 7 out of my 10 fingers were bleeding. I thought to myself, “Why me? Why am I in this position? No one in their right mind would voluntarily put themselves here. Should I book it? Should I fake a seizure? What if I just don’t do it? What if-” the door opens, and the red-haired lady beckons me to come in. In a state of panic, I completely forget my speech and just pull some random nonsense out of my pants. Absolutely humiliated by the fact that I just embarrassed myself, I entered a physical state of shock that made me feel absolutely emotionless. I remember feeling so shocked by the fact that I completely forgot my speech that I walked out of the room trying to force myself to pretend that nothing happened.

Although I did absolutely horrid on my speech (let alone the entire competition), I am never going to forget that feeling of talking about my experiences playing Fortnite to my peers. As silly as it is, Fortnite has been a segway for me to become more “me,” as I figured that by writing my speech simply about my goofy friends and silly video games, I wrote it with the intention to just have a good time. I (surprisingly) didn’t worry about how my peers would think of me talking about Fortnite, and I am not worried about it now. By simply “being Keilan,” I was able to have an experience that is unique to me because only I would write a “formal” speech about Fortnite for a district-wide competition. I didn’t try to create a speech that would impress or make a lasting impression on others, but I made it for me to reflect on how grateful I am for my friends and to make the listeners have a good laugh. I often think that the short feeling of euphoria that I felt sharing my speech would not have been felt if I wrote my speech with the intentions to please my audience, but what made my speech enjoyable for both myself and others was because of my willingness to share my funny experiences, or (as cheesy as it sounds), by just “being me.” I have learned that by only “being yourself,” will you truly have memorable experiences and quirky stories to tell. Fortnite has indirectly taught me to become more and more comfortable with myself and how I respond to social environments - allowing me to be both more sociable around others and a person that seems interesting to talk to (I hope).

(​This narrative is not sponsored by Epic Games.)