Numbness comes over my body and it goes still, I can’t move. As I force my eyes open all I see is my darkened room then I realize what is going on: another sleep paralysis. As I lay there in fear and Excitement of what will happen this time, I look towards my closet in fear because I remembered I did not close it before I had fallen asleep. My eyes practically bulge out of my head as I see a dark figure, hands clenching the closet door, eyes red as blood, and staring right at me with that freakishly large grin of his. I can’t scream, can’t move, can’t do anything but look back at it. It has probably been about ten minutes and me and that thing are practically having a staring contest. I blink once nothing, blink twice, nothing again, and as I blink a third time it moves very slowly climbing up my wall still having its red eyes on me. As it gets closer I try so hard to move that my head starts to hurt and I am practically screaming and running around in my mind, hoping that this ends. When the thing is finally right over me on the ceiling, I get a better view of it it is frail and small, but its head is large along with its eyes and the smell it gives off makes me want to vomit. It drops down closer to me so only its feet are sticking to the ceiling so we are eye to eye. It's just hanging there menacingly staring straight into my eyes it begins to grin then open its mouth so wide like it can eat my entire head in one chomp. It grabs my head with its skinny but strong finger, I feel my body getting its control back. I close my eyes tightly and once opened, it's gone. I look around nothing, all there is, is the sound of the train going by, the feeling of my very cold room that I can see my breath and the clock ticking, it's 3:00 am. As I sit up relieved I notice the tracks that thing left behind on my ceiling and I begin to question was it real? Is it still here?. As any wise person would do I put on my jacket and my shoes and begin to go down the stress to get my keys to leave. I open my bedroom door slowly and it is pitch black, I try to turn on the lights but for some reason they won’t work, I’m sure I paid the electricity bill. That's one more reason to not think and get the hell out of there. I make my way down my hallway which is freakishly long tonight, I see something scurry by the end of the hallway and down the stairs. I freeze. I curse to myself and keep walking feeling like the hallway keeps getting longer and narrower. I begin to run, having the fear of small paces doesn’t help. I run and run and run and all of a sudden for a brief moment I feel like I am running in midair, shocked at it was actually me about to fall down my stairs. I’m rolling and when I finally get to the end, I sit up head pounding and heart racing and I begin to hear voices so many voices and many dark figures flash all over the house one by one just standing there. I try to ignore their calls and make my way to the kitchen to get my keys. The voices get louder, the figures now all there just staring having the aura of the predator waiting to strike and the walls begin to grow flesh as if I was in someone's stomach. That wretched smell comes flooding back to me and those god forsaken hands I feel wrapped around my ankle and that thing begins to drag me. At that moment I see all those “spirits” just standing there begin to run at full speed, almost seeming like they only had control of their lower halves because their arms flailed so crazily that it freaked me out even more. I couldn’t scream so the only sounds were the voices of the “spirits” and my body being banged against the walls and stairs. I ended up back where I started my room, it was as cold as ever, the time still was at 3:00am and I felt myself black out for a second. When my eyes open that thing still has a hold of me and I am hanging from my ceiling and as I look down all of them are there arms trying to grab me and their mouths wide open almost like a shark ready to feed. I look up to look at that thing and it smiles back at me and says, “Is this exciting to you” and let's go, I feel like I am falling in slow motion and once the hands grab me, everything goes dark.
I fling myself out of bed breathing heavy and shaking. It was a dream.
Wow! What a horrible nightmare. You included many great descriptions to get the readers to feel exactly what the girl was feeling. I could not pry my eyes away from the screen as I was reading this story where the girl had sleep paralysis and could not control her actions either. Every next part was unexpected and I loved it. Fantastic job. -Layna Griffith
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job describing the situation. It was so vivid and the imagery greatly affected the story. You did a fantastic job in keeping the story somewhat mysterious and showing how the character felt during each scene. I also like how you described what goes on during sleep paralysis. -Darren Domond
ReplyDeleteAs I read this I felt like I was going though the nightmare, I got goosebumps. Your word choice and description is amazing I truly felt as if I were in the story. It was so engaging I want more! Amazing job.
ReplyDelete- Csea Wagner
Incredibly interesting. What really grabbed my attention was the fact that it surrounded upon sleep paralysis, a topic common among society yet isn't the first to necessarily be used in writing. Could be the fact that I am personally so attached to horror because of the adrenaline it induces but I found myself really interested in this, the monsters, the fear of it all, I literally was constantly searching for what's next. Oh and yes of course it ended with the classic "it was all a dream.." I feel like I was too pulled in to even THINK of it ending like that so wow, good job!
ReplyDeleteI was very intrigued by your blog, quite fascinating to read. Your in depth detail, kept the story alive in which i wanted to continue reading. You were able to keep the suspense throughout the story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI was very intrigued by your blog, quite fascinating to read. Your in depth detail, kept the story alive in which i wanted to continue reading. You were able to keep the suspense throughout the story. Good job! - kayla cecilio
ReplyDeleteThis was so well written! Your vivid descriptions and use of imagery really did a nice job of allowing for the reader to really experience what situation was being described. I was at the edge of my seat constantly wondering what would happen next, so great job! - Angelique Maylad
ReplyDeleteThe details that you put really helped me to see what you were describing. The emotions and imagery really helped to convey the way sleep paralysis dreams can feel. Good Job! -Ruby Treto
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery that you presented in your story as it made it feel like I was in the room with you. Also the suspense within the story made the story even more interesting. Nicely done!!
ReplyDelete- Jaylin Tillman
The details within this is so amazing and descriptive, this was so well written I was able to envision it all, It was like a movie was playing through my head while i was reading the words. -Jenna Carey
ReplyDeleteThis was so nicely written. The detail was amazing. The passage was so captivating. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThe imagery was amazingly put and the emotions that were said made the story a lot more action packed. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job at really immersing the reader into the story. The detail and description made it feel as if I was the one with sleep paralysis. This really well written. I loved reading it.- Julianne Varona
ReplyDeleteThe details within this were really well represented. It gave us an image in our mind to go along with the story. Overall a really good piece good job :) -Hailee Cianciminio
ReplyDeleteHi, I want to start off by saying I really enjoyed your story, specifically the imagery with in it. You definitely caught my attention in the beginning and through out the story. I especially liked the part about where you thought you woke up but were still sleeping. Plus, it was relatable to a nightmare I had which made it more enjoyable. -Diane Rodriguez
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ReplyDeleteI love how suspenseful this blog was, great work! Kept me interested and on the edge of my seat- Julianna Cruz
Your use of image paints a lucid picture within my mind of the horrors of sleep paralysis. I enjoyed the tension you built throughout the piece. Thank you. - Donovan Alonzo
ReplyDeleteI almost felt like I was there. I felt the emotion of what you were feeling when you were experiencing sleep paralysis. From the "Numbness" all over your body to the "darkened" room. It brought a sense of fear and was overall a great piece of writing. -Jacob M
ReplyDelete"WOW!" was the first word that left my mouth after reading. I'm genuinely amazed about the use of imagery and description in your writing. I imagined the story from the beginning to the end. I love how you add the title back to the story to an unexpected end. While I was reading, I was fully engaged and I felt like I was in this dream. Incredible job overall! -Devin Davis
ReplyDeleteI liked how you included the reader to feel as if they were in the same room. The imagery of the dark room, the open closet, and the early morning express how our thoughts get in our heads when we are alone. The quote, “ I look towards my closet in fear because I remembered I did not close it before I had fallen asleep. My eyes practically bulge out of my head as I see a dark figure…” indicates how sleep paralysis can make certain situations feel longer. I liked that you exaggerated the piece to make the story suspenseful and engaging. Great piece, Rebekah! -Laylah Perez
ReplyDeleteI admire how the details gave your story such a creepier element!
ReplyDelete-Gaby Velasquez
The descriptive detail in this dream is incredible! I could vividly picture everything in my head and experience exactly what the character was feeling. I love the suspense building up and how the story was so in depth. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteMy word, how vivid your story! I won't lie, I am very hard to startle, I even laugh at scary movie clichés, but this; this was wonderful. Being as tough to excite as I am, I am overjoyed that I can feel the suspense and perceive the situation through your diction and imagery. Truly a fantastic job! –Ryan Carter
ReplyDeleteI loved how immersive and gripping the storytellings skills in this post are, This is a scary recalling of a story but your way in which presenting the story makes all the difference. The story telling skill shows in this post pull in the reader and immerse them into the story you're telling. Excellent job.
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