Monique--Alex, My Guardian Angel

Alex, My Guardian Angel

My savior, my strength, my guardian angel, and last but not least, my little brother. It all started July 30, 1999, that was the day that it all changed. I believed that God took him away because he was special, and he had a bigger heart that needed to be more loved than an average child. For a while I thought that it was okay for him to go away for a little bit, but then I grew up and I understood that he was never going to come back, ever. Now I have to deal with answering the question “how many siblings do you have?” with tears filling up in my eyes because it hurts to know all I have is memories of him in my heart, but if I tell them 2 then it will show that I don’t love him. I do love him and miss him every day, I envy the others that are luckier than me. I was young when it happened so when it came to the funeral it’s a very big blur to me. The clothes, strollers, pictures especially make me break down because that’s all I have of him. He would have been the little freshman this year, I won’t be able to see him walk down the A building or the J building, I especially won’t be able to hug him. It just hurts me a lot to know that he didn’t even have the chance to fight back, he was too young, but now I know he is always here. When tough situations come I just hug that teddy bear that I named after him and whisper to it about what I should do, I always pause for a response but remember I will never receive a response. When my oldest brother was in need of help in that crash he was there to make sure that there wasn’t going to be another innocent life taken away. When I found out the truth of who I was and how I was not supposed to be born, that’s when it hit me, it was me that God wanted, not my little Alex.