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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Autumn--The Mysterious Matroshyka Doll (an edited piece originally written in the sixth grade)



The Mysterious Matroshyka Doll
 January 17th, 1945
        Pskov, Russia   
                        Snow falling, chills blowing, and a bright adventurous girl thinking as she discovers her surroundings a bit more close. Nadia, a very smart 10 year old girl, who lived in a cottage with her mother, father, and her best friend Natalia. Natalia, a young orphaned girl was taken in by Nadia’s family after her parents had passed away, and instantly Nadia and Natalia built a relationship like no other. They had many things in common, accept Natalia was more oblivious to things rather than Nadia was. They lived in a peaceful neighborhood on Kashubba Lane. Next door to Nadia’s home was a petite house with unique attributes. Nadia’s mother had once told her that it belonged to Mrs. Nachbezzer, a woman of class, had extensive knowledge about many subjects, owned fine treasures, trinkets, and many matroshyka dolls but very odd. One early morning Natalia and Nadia decided to take a visit to Mrs.Nachbezzer’s home for them to see what she was all about.
    “Natalia, Natalia wake up wake up”, Nadia said awakened. Five a.m. and Natalia is out of it. “What must I get up for”, said Natalia. “To discover Mrs. Nachbezzer treasures and collect some of her fine items” Nadia said. Alright let’s go.  As they got up in their pajamas they ran out in the blizzard storm and knocked on Mrs. Nachbezzer’s door.   “Oh well girls what brings you here this fine early morning”, Mrs. Nachbezzer said. “Oh well we just wanted to see your intricate home and discover what you must have in it”, they both said curious. “Oh girls you must, as a matter of fact come in, and if you don’t mind help me organize all my clutter, will you?  “As I attend my therapy session this morning”, Mrs.Nacbezzer said joyfully. “Sure no problem, Natalia and I will take care of it”, said Nadia. “Must do Girls I will be back at 3 this afternoon”, said Mrs.Nacbezzer. As soon as Nachbezzer left they made their entrance in the house, and discover piles and piles of clutter everywhere.  As Nadia begins cleaning, Natalia makes her way down to the basement where she finds a box full of stuff. Natalia makes her way back up the stairs to share her findings with Nadia. They go thru the box and come across a pile of dolls, but at the bottom was a very unique doll very small in size. Nadia and Natalia looked at the bottom of the doll and it said, “Matroshyka doll” Made in Russia, curious to what a Matroshkya doll was, they found a dictionary in this awkward pile, and looked up the definition of Matroshkya, and it states each of a set of brightly painted hollow wooden dolls of varying sizes, designed to nest inside one another. They decided to continue their work later and take the doll home to find out more information. As they enter their house they hear something speaking in their native language. It seemed as if it was speaking like time was literally winding up. Disturbed by it, Nadia and Natalia made their way back to Mrs.Nachbezzar house realizing that she would return home in an hour. They continued to get back to work. Natalia going through a stack of papers finding an interesting piece. “NADIA, NADIA”, said Natalia I found a certificate of death. Natalia and Nadia were both in awe. They read the piece together and it said….
Opal Nachbezzer
May 14th, 1838-Januray 17th 1918 
Thinking to themselves Mrs. Nachbezzer could be a ghost. As they discovered many other things Nadia and Natalia found that she was buried in the basement of her home with the matroshkya doll and each year as her date of death comes by she makes her way to therapy. For what reason they have no clue why? All they knew is that when she came home they asked her how her day was, she disappeared and so did the matorshyka doll
TO BE CONTINUED…..

24 comments:

  1. This gets the reader's attention very quickly.

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  2. Autumn,

    That was very SUSPENSEFUL! Your character development is exquisite. The fact that you add a second continuation, made we want to know if there truly was a ghost. Imagery and character dialogue were also strong. I loved the idea of the dolls, I have never heard of those types of dolls, but this piece has made me interested in them. Thanks for not using Barbie. Great Job! Can't wait till your continuation is published.

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  3. WOW, really creepy cant wait to see the next story, maybe the doll is evil?

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  4. This piece is creepy, yet interesting. Great job, you kept me on the edge of my seat. What happens next?

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  5. I really loved this story. When I was at the end I wanted to keep reading to see what was going to happen. Very well done!!!!

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  6. This was really interesting to read! I wasn't expecting Mrs. Nachbezzer to be dead! I can't wait to read more!

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  7. i loved the cliff hanger has me wondering what is going to happen next and makes me want to keep reading and wait for the continued end to be published

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  8. This was honestly really creepy... I loved it! There needs to be a second part or something :) I loved the suspense, and the way you worded everything! And your cliff hanger was amazing!

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  9. Wow ghostly! I love how it leaves us with a " to be continued " Left me wanting to read more! Overall good job!

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  10. Oh my gosh, this was such a frightening story Autumn. Fantastic job! Throughout the entire story I was intrigued, very interesting!

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  11. This piece grabbed my attention from the beginning! Great plot.

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  12. I thought about passing this story up but the first line caught my attention and i am happy I read it it was very good and I was on the edge of my seat.

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  13. Super great piece! Very creepy but intriguing. Awesome job!!

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  14. The introduction of this story made me want to read more. Very nice piece!

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  15. I loved how the story was very suspenseful. I am a sucker for stories and movies of this genre! nice job Autumn i would love to read more if there was more!

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  16. I didnt know you were such a good writer. it was extremely mysterious and intriguing.

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  17. Woah! What happened? I loved this, a revealing piece. Have you researched Russia? I love matroshyka dolls and can absolutely picture two young girls huddled over an elaborately painted doll.

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  18. i like this story a lot because of the suspense

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  19. This is creepy and suspenseful. Amazing work! It's different from the ones that I've read. Your able to keep your readers interested from the beginning to end. Thanks for sharing your work.

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  20. You were very descriptive with lots of emotions involving ethos, pathos, and logos. Very suspenseful, and filled with dramatic parts.

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  21. Aww, to be continued- I was definitely left wanting to read more, good job!

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  22. This was vaguely creepy and I like the established characters, I would have preferred more of the story in this post in order to see how the plot develops further but your the writer and so you stopped where you felt is right. Nice piece and I like how it was written prior and you just revised it. Awesome job.

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  23. First of all, this date (January 17) is my birthdate. Secondly, I seriously got the chills at the end and honestly didn't see that coming at all, the story just pulled me in. Great job!

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