Never
Forgotten
In the
summer of July 25, 2010 my aunt, uncle, grandma, and I were driving from
Oklahoma to California. As we were driving my uncle missed the exit for gas. So
of course our car broke down. It was 113 degree weather, on the side of the
road with a dog, fish, aunt, uncle, grandma, and I. My grandma called triple A
and they said that they can’t come because they got another important call. My
grandma hung up angrily and says “We are going to have to do this on our own.”
Uncle Nick gets off the car and “tries” to flag down people.
After
thirty minutes, finally someone stops, Nick tells them what happened, and they
agree to take him to get gas. It was thirty minutes to the next exit. As we
wait a police car pulls behind us. He gets off and asks us what the problem
was, we tell him that we ran out of gas and he said “ok everything seems to be
fine.” As he walked off we offer him a cupcake, but he rejects it. Ten minutes
later Nick is back with the gas. He puts it in the gas tank, thanks the two
men, pays them, and we drive off. This is an important event that I will never
forget especially because it was my birthday.
It was a interesting, and became funny when you mentioned that it was your birthday at the end.
ReplyDeleteThis points out the idea that one can see some good in almost everything.
ReplyDeleteThat is one unfortunate occurrence. While writing, I advise you to be mindful of your tenses. You shift from present tense to past tense throughout the piece, it is imperative you focus on one tense. I am glad, however, that you were able to find someone to help you guys get gas.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this piece with us! I liked how you recalled the events of that day and the little twist at the end. Great job.
ReplyDeleteYour post was very intriguing in a sense that it built up to a climax and it was based solely upon personal experience. I would enjoy to read what occurs next as you finished your trip.
ReplyDeleteGood job :)
I liked how you put details in your story and how you included monologue in your story as well
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had to spend your birthday like that. On the bright side, you got to spend time with your family!
ReplyDeleteGood Job!
what a great way to spend on your birthday i hope u atleast enjoyed it haha but atleast someone stopped to help and took your uncle to get gas
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that that happened on your birthday but hopefully you are able to look back on your experience and laugh now. Plus you were able to great a great piece on it.
ReplyDeleteNice what a great way to end such a day and you spent it with people you love
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your birthday was like that. I really enjoyed how in the end you had a happy ending. :)
ReplyDeleteEven though I wish that you added more details to this story that sounds very interesting it was a good and sweet story
ReplyDeleteRemember that this is your personal story, not an essay, have fun with it! Nice ending!
ReplyDeletewoah plot twist, i like how you throw in at the end that it was your birthday, but nice story i can relate.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but i found this funny cause it all happened on your birthday but overall good story.
ReplyDeleteThe fish part killed me. That is so out of the ordinary and i did not expect it at all. Glad to see that there were actually people nice enough to stop and help.
ReplyDeleteYour story shows that there are some people that are willing to help. It was a very lighthearted story and it was very funny at the end. Good job.
ReplyDeletethat sounds like a fun and an exciting birthday. It is also a learning lesson. good job.
ReplyDeleteYour story gives me hope that people are there to help, it was also funny at the end xD
ReplyDeleteHahah, it's funny how there is a fish in this story but it's a great story. I'm glad that people helped and the ending was such a plot twist. Good Job!
ReplyDeletei like how this was a personal story and how you made it funny at the end by saying it was your birthday
ReplyDeleteI find the way you ended it to be very humorous. It was kind of like, "Btw, this was all on my birthday." I don't know. I really like it.
ReplyDeleteWow this happened on your birthday im sorry but the overall story was very good.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been a bummer, especially on your birthday I would have been disappointed. But at least you and your family were able to get back on the road again and continue your trip. Well done. Thanks for sharing you personal experience ! :)
ReplyDeleteI almost thought you were going to be stranded their! I was worried about the fish. But good job! at least someone came to the rescue
ReplyDeleteOh my... This was very interesting. I could advise though to make sure to make the story flow. But happy birthday
ReplyDeleteI'm glad someone was able to help you, and I was surprised to learn it was your birthday at the end! Good way to end the story, it left me surprised and wanting to know more about what you did on your birthday.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how personal the story is. I could really relate and I also enjoyed the story as a whole! Good job
ReplyDelete-Lauren Waitman
You know we all have crazy days like that! Unfortunately it had to be your birthday! I really loved it though that you shared your experience. Great Job!
ReplyDelete-Dylan Keetle
Hopefully your birthday was ruined because of your delay but now you have some stories to tell. To improve your writing i would suggest better diction and more detial.
ReplyDeleteThe whole story took place on your birthday, and it shows that there are still good people out there willing to help. This was really good i loved it.
ReplyDelete