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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Transcending Dreams--Jennifer


“I’ll kill you, if it’s the last thing I-” The man's face began to blur into a sea of navy blue, his mouth still moving, but only high pitched beeps sounded. Laila’s eyes opened slightly as her hand instinctively smashed the alarm clock. She slowly pulled the dark sheet off her head and tossed it onto her spare chest with a groan.
No second thought was given to the man from her sleep for hours. His strong, unforgiving grip had left a yellow bruise on Leila’s thin wrist, but she hardly noticed it. It wasn’t until that afternoon with Kai that it was brought to her attention. 

“It’s only been two weeks since I saw you last, yet you’re hardly recognizable.” He gestured to her crimson hair with a grin. “Looks like I’ve been dreaming about the wrong girl.”
“Don’t be stupid, Kai. Red, green, black. It’s all the same. Sorry for not mentioning it when I visited you the other night.” They grabbed hands and sat facing each other, observing what had changed since their last in-person encounter. New hair color, tired eyes. Darker tan, greasier hair. Kai’s eyes stopped scanning once he found it. 

“Laila. Your wrist. Did he visit your dreams again? Is that why you didn’t meet me last night?”
She hesitated and, keeping her head to the ground, explained that it was no big deal. “He was gone quickly. I hardly remember it at all, I swear.”
“He hurt you! We have no idea who he is and he hurt you. He can’t keep invading your privacy like this.”
“It’s not privacy, I mean, anyone can visit anyone sleeping as long as they’re on the same cycle.”
“This is different. When some stranger’s dream of you is so strong that the touch shows up on your body when you wake up? That’s not okay.” He was standing over her in a protective manner that was inviting her in for a hug. She didn’t get the message and pulled him back down on the bench.
“There’s nothing we can do about it now, and he’s probably on the other side of the world anyway. It’s impossible to do much worse than a bruise without physical bodies being toge...” She trailed off, eyes fixated on the broad, tall man in the window of a store across the road. Same balding head, same evil gleam in his eye. “We have to leave.”
She picked up her backpack and yanked Kai’s hand, dragging him around the corner near the building's dumpster. Her heart was racing and her mind couldn't focus on the next step. Was that really him? Should we be running? Should we confront him?
Kai was peering around the corner, piecing it together without knowing who exactly is the problem.
“Let's confront him,” Kai whispered. Laila rolled her eyes and wished her thoughts weren't always loud enough for him to hear, when her dreams are often too weak for him to visit. It’s the exact opposite of what she craves.
“If we go over there... who knows how strong he is? Who knows how he'll treat me in person? I don't think it's worth the risk.”
“It's been going on for months. This is our first chance to change something, we have to take it.” Their interlocked hands squeezed as they snuck towards the danger, unsure of how they'd speak to this man. “We're in a world where nightmares can be avoided and dreams can be with your best friends. There's no reason for him to give you nightmares against your will.”
They cautiously entered the store, startled to immediately run into the man they so feared. He greets them, “Hello you little rat. Rat’s boyfriend.” His grin widens... widens... Laila and Kai can't bring themselves to talk. He continues, “do you remember my promises, woman? I'll kill you, if it's the last thing I-”
The man’s face began to blur into a sea of dark, his mouth moving, high pitched beeps sounding. Kai’s eyes opened slightly as his hand instinctively smashed the alarm clock. He sat up, fear radiating through his chest. Every thought was dedicated to this nightmare for the next several hours, until he held Laila again. The bruise on her wrist was the least of his concerns as he dialed for an ambulance.

17 comments:

  1. What an absolutely fascinating story! Your use of imagery and detail was excellent and I really wish that there was more! It is closely related to the horror franchise, Nightmare on Elm Street but personally I liked your story way better! -Chloe Munar

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  2. This story was really interesting to read, I was so into it I wish there was more. I really like the whole story like and how the dreams became real. I really enjoyed this piece of writing.

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  3. super fun to read, I enjoyed your writing skills and your imagery gave a great picture in my head, great work! :)
    ~Krystal Adodo

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  4. Fantastic short story! I got an extreme Twilight Zone and Inception vibe after reading this story. The way you described the environment of this world was great, really allowed me to see what was going on and relize what was happening. Again, great story! - Brendan Sweeney

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  5. This piece reminds me of the movie, Nightmare in Elm Street but I enjoyed your concept more. I really like the detail and use of imagery. What happens next?? Great job Jennifer!! I really liked this flash fiction, it’s different and entertaining.

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    1. Thank you! What happens next is entirely up to your imagination. I personally have a way longer series in my mind, so Laila isn't meant to die here, and the man is supposed to remain a mystery for a while.

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  6. Omg this piece is just, wow!! I'm really left speechless because of all the imagery that you were able to bring to the piece. It kind of creeped me out but I absolutely loved this piece. Great Job.
    -Briana Santana

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  7. I was intrigued from the very first sentence, and I know that at least for me, that level of attention capturing is almost always nearly impossible to capture. I love your writing style - it was very easy to read while still being advanced in concept and technical elements. :) - Naomi Friedland

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  8. I really enjoyed reading this thriller. Your play with reality suspenseful and full of mystery. I never knew what to expect. Wonderful work!!

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  9. Amazing world-building. I like how you sprinkle in a few tidbits of information about the unique qualities of "dreaming" in this world, but you ultimately keep it ambiguous to a point that now the reader has to piece together and infer exactly how the "dreams" functions.

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  10. You already know my thoughts since you showed me your draft but wow that little change to the end was amazing. It helped tie the whole story together while also leaving room for guessing what's going to happen next. I loved it and I love you, you amazing writer. -Jøhnny Blue

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  11. WOW.. very compelling and definitely something I want to read (or see ;) ) more of. Its a cool concept and i hope you do or have continue(d) the writing!! Such an easy read with a very entertaining and mysterious plot, i diggit.
    Alessandro Seminario p 5

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  12. This is so intriguing to read and I love the vibes I got from it! Loved the diction and imagery which really supported this! Great Job!!! -Mercedes Bradford

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  13. I loved your piece! I really like your use of imagery, and description it really pulled me into the story. Also, the dialogue really kept my attention and I really loved that you wrote in third-person omniscient which allowed me to connect emotionally with the characters, their thoughts and feelings.
    - Tyger Ghodossi

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  14. Jennifer, this piece is simply amazing. You completely captured my attention and left me wanting to read more. The plot you constructed was complex and engaging, a hard enough task without restrictions on length. The ending is a cliffhanger and I am already drumming up possible outcomes. This is wonderful writing through and through!

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  15. This poem was written in a super effective fashion in terms of delivering suspense. The vivid description of things such as the dream left strange intriguing images in my mind, and I really enjoyed it. It had me fully at attention the entire time through, even when I didn't understand what was going on.
    -Andre Perez

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  16. This was super interesting to read! I loved the horror and mystery aspect of the story. The detail and imagery in this kept me wanting to read and i want to read more! great job writing this! (: -kayla leonard

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