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Monday, March 20, 2017

The Strain--Francis

January 3, 2017 18:03
(Jan and Lucy both sit down in front of both officers)
(Officer Quintana picks up a duffel bag, placing it on the table.)
 “10 pounds.”
“That I’m not sharing.”
 (Jan slowly turns his head)
 “You’re serious?”
“Buddy, that’s Purple Haze.”
 “Lucy!”
“What?! It’s hard to come by!”
 “Lucy!”
“What?!”
(Jan and Lucy continue to argue, while both officers turn their heads to one another, unclear of what to do. Officer Terrazaz checks the bag)
 “Is it actually Purple Haze?”
“You want to check?”
 (Both officers look back at the arguing couple)
 “Oh I’m the one that got us into this mess?!
Who had the car with 10 pounds of kush?!”
“Who put it in the car?!”
(While the pair continues to argue, both officers peek into the bag, rubbing their fingers on the bags of marijuana then intensely sniffing it)
 “Smells like Blue Dream.”
“You sure? Smell it again.”
(While arguing, Lucy heard the officers’ conversation. Concerned, she turns back to face both officers)
 “Wait, are you sure?”
 (Taking the marijuana out of the bag then continuing to sniff it) “Yeah dude.”
“No way.”
(Hurriedly, Lucy gets out of her chair, grabbing the bag out of the officer’s hand, then furiously sniffing the marijuana)
“Oh good God.”
 (Lucy continues to sniff the rest of the bags of marijuana, while the other 3 watch)
 “Umm… shouldn’t you two be doing something about this?”
 “Like, smoke it?”
 “No, dude…”
 “Oh… sorry.”
(Jan taps Lucy, getting her attention and making her sit back down)
 “So, could you tell me where you got all this marijuana?”
“Easy, my dealer, the same guy you saw put it in both cars, which we did not know he did. You both clearly saw what he did before he ran off.”
 “If you’re stating you were innocent, then why did you decide keep this bag to yourself?”
 “You know, to be honest, I thought it’d be funny.”
(Both officers look confused, looking at Jan, hoping for a response, only for Jan to shrug and shake his head)
 “Her dealer also happens to be her boyfriend.”
“Ah ah ah, ‘happened’, to be my boyfriend.” “Oh yeah, that’s right.”
(Officer Terrazaz takes out a small notebook, ready to write as Officer Quintana questions them)
“Do you know where he is?”
“Yeah, Ezra’s in the Caelum Apartments near Argentum Boulevard, probably packaging with friends.”
 (Both officers nod at one another, rising from their chairs and opening the door for the pair)
 “That’s it?”
“Yes it is... you want to come watch us arrest your friend?”
 January 3, 2017 18:23
(Six men are being arrested and put into the backs of the police cars)
“I’ll remember your face kid! Don’t forget that!”
“Well… yeah! We’re cousins!”
(As they watch the car, drive away, Lucy turns to the officers)
 “So, we keep the kush, right?”
(Both officers shake their heads)
 “Oh… you guys want to smoke then?”
 (Both officers agree, Jan shrugging)
 “Sure, why not?”

22 comments:

  1. This would be absolutely hilarious to see in real life. Reminds me of the movie Lets Be Cops in that a cop isn't acting exactly how a cop should act. The ending was particularly funny in trying to imagine a cop actually doing that. Fantastic Job!

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  2. This story was one of the best stories I read. I found it funny how you made the officers know what type of weed it was and you made them smoke it at the end. This flash fiction is comedy gold.
    -Matthew Jimenez

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I just wanted to give people a good laugh from the great, realistic other pieces the others write, which I really do enjoy.
      -Francis Talla

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  3. HAHA! Definitely something that would happen in one of those cop parody movies like 21 Jump Street. I like how you set up the structure so that it resembled that of a serious investigation with the official dates and military time because it helps emphasize that this is a parody of such an investigation.

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  4. This was hilarious. In my head I pictured the cops as the "cool parents" in those typical teen movies where the parents are trying to be "hip" but they embarrass their kids anyways. Not sure why that's what came to mind first but y'know.. The way the cops' reactions were pretty much completely the opposite of what you'd expect and the "sure, why not?" at the end absolutely killed me. Great job!!

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  5. This story was so fun to read! Great job on the comedic effects. The characterization of the cops completely made the story. Good job!

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  6. The way you allowed the characters to talk back at each other and at the officers in such a nonchalant way made this piece hilarious. I can almost imagine this dialogue being a section of a comedic movie. Great job!

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  7. This piece has a very funny and unexpected ending! Knowing who said what dialogue was kind of confusing but overall you did a great job. I wonder if this actually does happen in real life.

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  8. This story was hilarious. The irony especially of the entire situation and the cavalier attitude of the suspects-hilarious.

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  9. Your piece is very funny, in the way that you use dialogue to tell the majority of the story. Very well done.

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  10. Nice!! I loved how you took the comedy route. I also liked how you didn't really state who was speaking, it was easy to identity who was saying what. That ending though bro like LOL

    Vivian Chiang

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  11. It's funny how nonchalant you made the officers be in your story, parodying the serious investigations that officers usually conduct in their investigations

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  12. This is hilarious Francis, the characters were exactly something that would happen in a movie but hopefully there will be a sequel to see what happens with the cops

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    1. Why thank you very much Austin, I was hoping this piece would leave this kind of impression with you, and I'm very thankful it did!
      -Francis Talla

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  13. Your piece really caught me off guard!I was expecting a cliche story of a couple who fell in love and were separated when I read the title but this was absolutely hilarious and original. I really liked the structure of your piece as well as the irony of the situation itself. I would never expect police officers to do this which is why it was so funny. Thank you for your creative and intriguing story!
    -Bryanna Torres

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  14. This piece was very comedic. These would probably be the most chill police officers ever. The fact that they knew the strains of marijuana by name was hilarious.

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  15. It's cracking me up the way a lot of comments say this would happen in a movie, but this stuff happens in real life! The hypocrisy in our legal system is a big issue and i love that you inteoduced it through comedy!

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  16. Your story was pretty funny and unique. I haven't seen anyone write their story like a play before and the use of irony was great. Good job!

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  17. After reading several very intense emotional pieces, it was great to read this light-hearted piece and have a good laugh! I enjoyed the dialogue--event though it was hard to follow at the beginning--because it's very effective at bringing the reader into the conversation and therefore the story. The story itself was funny and I definitely enjoyed that. Thanks for sharing this piece!
    -Christopher Kerwin

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  18. As well as being a comical story the dialogue manages to stay very real rather then seem unbelievable.

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  19. This piece was absolutely hilarious! Everytime the cops would look at each other, as Jan and Lucy were arguing, I could just picture them looking at each other with a "you have got to be kidding me" face. I really enjoyed this piece good job!

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  20. Wow this was incredible! I love how you addressed such a topical subject with a lighthearted tone.
    -Andre Burgos

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