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Monday, March 20, 2017

Piece of Mind--Jada

I am not fearful of spiders, snakes, tight places, germs, heights, or needles. I am not fearful of any common phobias that cause distress amongst most normal human beings. I am not even fearful of death. What I do fear is the simplicity of life. I feel like my whole world is melting at the simple thought of failure and I think so far into the future that I let it drag me down. It's quite weird how I can overthink myself so deep into what is yet to come. From the second I wake up before I can even open my eyes my brain is already on its second thought. Even with my eyes fully shut as I fall asleep my mind continues going back and forth with itself. My mind begins overwhelming as I think of everything I have yet to accomplish. It all piles up higher and higher creating crystal clear images of vast emptiness the more I think. My thoughts continue fighting a war amongst themselves, but there is one thought that holds the highest power. Who am I? What do I do that makes me, me? All my focus zooms in on how much I really do not know how to do anything, at all. I do not even really know myself. I mean sure I am my own person, but I can not particularly define myself, I’m just a “blob” of whatever I am. I do not have many talents or skills. I mean sure I can read a book, do my homework, follow directions, and get good grades, but everyone can do that if they wanted to. I guess I can also draw if you consider stick figures a talent. But how can these things possibly define who I am? The question still remains, what can I really do? My mind is like an ocean, as I start out relaxing in the shallows only to find myself swept under and rolling deep beneath the unbreakable force of a wave, fighting to come up for air only to be swallowed back in. The questions flood my mind running back and forth all day long, one question after another, an infinite series of thoughts that never end. One thought I tend to forget and that rarely crosses my mind's path is the simple fact that no one knows what they’re doing. Everyone is going through trial and error, and that is the simplistic fairness of it all. You just learn as it happens. Despite all the negativity, all it takes is another five minutes of me telling myself that I can do it all, and I'm suddenly over thinking myself (yet again) into success. I can feel every inch of my body warm up like someone lit a fire underneath me as I think of everything I plan to do in life. My thoughts find their way back to the surface and I have suddenly found my way back to shore. I think I just think too much.

27 comments:

  1. Relatable!! I like how you compared your mind to an ocean, that is a great way of thinking of the minds that have periods of overthinking and losing ourselves. Just try to not let your thoughts get the best of you or overcome anything you do. Great job!

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  2. This was by far the best piece I've read here! From the existential search for identity to the vivid descriptions. It was like the words made me blank out and I was stuck thinking. I love when words make a person really think about things.Even the ending was amazing in my opinion. Great job, Jada!

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  3. I can relate to this, I think so much about my future. It excites me butthen it also worries me too. This was a great piece you wrote, great job!
    -Marlene Gonzalez

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  4. I love how you discuss a topic that a lot of us can relate to--the feeling of pressure and the pressure we put on ourselves to be successful in the future. I like how you compared this feeling to being caught under the surface of the waves in the ocean; this piece is really "deep" (pun intended). Your use of rhetorical questions that are left unanswered reflects the questions we ask ourselves and cannot answer. Very Compelling Piece!

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    1. I'm so happy others can relate to my piece. Also aha I got your pun there! Thank you!!

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  5. I think this piece relates to most of us nowadays given the fact that we are almost near the end of our days with free education and going off to college. The place where we are "suppose" to find our true passion and our true identity. Thinking about our future can be stressful especially since there can be indefinite outcomes...

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  6. I feel like everyone could relate to this piece, especially now with high school ending for us our mind is in between being excited about the countless of possibilities that could happen in college and the failures that we are about to go through in being an adult. This is what I usually think about when I am spacing out in class. -Martina Panganiban

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this piece and thought it was really well written. This was really relatable since I've programmed myself into planning ahead each day and predicting anything that may occur. What I thought was cool was when you connected the mind to the shore. The last time I went to the beach, sat looking at the shore happily without a single thought for once which I thought was a bit ironic after reading this.

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    1. Ahh yes I can definitely relate to over planning and always trying to be prepared for the worse. And wow that's so true how ironic the ocean is! Thank you!!

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  8. I really did not want this to end. I have never related to something so much and I wanted to keep reading. We are all just humans trying to find a purpose in life and figure ourselves out. I loved this piece, great job!

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  9. Your piece really hit close to home for me as I try to figure out what I want to study in college. It's comforting knowing that you and so many other people can relate to that feeling of not knowing your calling or your own identity. Good job :)

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  10. I loved reading this piece because I can relate to it in various ways. I tend to overthink everything and make situation more complicated than they should be. I understand how you stress yourself out just by thinking of what the future holds. I guess we will all just have to wait and see. I enjoyed how you questioned yourself and began to dig deep to see what makes you. Great job!

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    1. Yes exactly!!! My over thinking always overflows into me making situations far more complicate than they should be. Well thank you, and yes we will just wait and see what the future has in store.

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  11. As ambiguous as our self-doubt and that of others can be, you state the facts of it very relatably in your piece. Not only that, but you also write with a good perspective on how we should handle it. Great Job.

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  12. This piece is so relatable and your message is straight to the point which is something I really enjoyed about it. I too constantly wonder who I am and your piece perfectly describes everything I've experienced. Great job!

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  13. I also think this way and fear that I will not succeed and then tell myself I just think too much! This piece is amazing. Completely relatable and beautifully expressed.

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  14. I really related to your piece because I also find myself questioning who I am and what I want to become. I also liked that the situations you described as well as the feelings of being overwhelmed,that were vividly recalled, were very accurate and informative. Overall, your piece was very well-written and helped the reader do a bit of self-reflection, awesome job!
    -Bryanna Torres

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  15. Your piece is so relatable to myself and i'm sure a lot of others as well. I often stress so much about my future and college and that does get in the way most of the time. I'm glad to see that I am not the only one who feels like this but overall I think you have done a great job!!- Sophia Cordura

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  16. Wow, this is nearly what I do every day. I overthink things, and I try to imagine my future but never work towards it and am disappointed when it doesn't work out the way I had envisioned. I also struggle to find uniqueness in the world. There have been so many people who've already done all there is to do, so what can one possible do to make themselves different? I love science and I love creating things, so, for me, the answer isn't to perfect what people have already done and are still doing (which is a big focus today), but rather do/create what people haven't done or made. People set precedents and others follow that path and try to constantly perfect it, but what if the better option is to start completely from scratch and take a different path? That is how I personally hope to find my uniqueness--by creating something completely new to the world that has great usefulness. Anyway I digress, this was definitely relatable and so know at least that you're not alone! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
    -Christopher Kerwin

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  17. Your piece was very relatable especially right now. Our future is just ahead of us, and even now I still don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. I think we just need to let whatever happens happen and then just adapt to it. A very well written piece.

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  18. I'm always constantly thinking it's crazy. By the time I finish breakfast I'm already mentally registering for classes that I'm going to take my junior year of college. I haven't even graduated high school yet ! I think the point is to come up with a fail proof plan but even then its still not something proof. I look forward to the day when we can sleep well aha.
    -J'Noie Parker

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  19. Exactly my thoughts, no one really knows what we are doing or what paths life my lead us to. I think also sometimes we as people tend to overthink certain situations and get caught up in the moment instead of just trying. And if we succeed great and if we don't try again or move on. I agree with you on that point however one-hundred percent, that no one knows what they're doing.
    -Ruben Becerra

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  20. You shined light on a topic that many of us can relate to, especially during this time when the fates of our future is still being determined and often not in our control anymore. I really enjoyed your take on overthinking and how your mind works. Great job Jada

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  21. Wow. This piece was so utterly profound and raw that I was left in awe after reading it. I absolutely loved how introspective and pensive you got in this piece; it greatly contributed to the intimacy of the narrative. A lot of people, including myself, tend to unnecessarily overthink so many things and we don't like to indulge in the awful details or expose ourselves. Kudos to you! This piece was beautiful.

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  22. I appreciate how you provided insight on how we should handle our situations. Indeed, it can be stressful to think of how we all must bring something unique to the table in order get into a career and create meaningful experiences with others. Great job!
    -Nwojo Abba

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  23. I can relate to this piece in so many ways, which is why I love this piece so much! Wow, great job! -Lauren J.

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  24. this is another relate able piece. It gets me to think that we cant let out emotions dictate our choices in life. do let your thoughts consume you! Overall an amazing piece! Great job

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