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Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Trust--Lucy B.

 


    “Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” (Merriam

Webster).


    Trust is often defined as believing in some subject, trust could be in a best friend, it could be in a

college, in a future, in ourselves. It’s a powerful sense, many even believe it to be the primary, and most

important factor for a relationship to function.


    Personally, I lack trust, actually, I have trust issues, I still don’t know where they came from.

Sources say trust issues come from trauma, betrayal, or some other past experience, yet I’ve never had a

negative experience with those when it came to trust.


    Perhaps it comes from my mind which overthinks, there has to be a few people like me that

always expects the worst. Maybe, secretly, everyone hates me. Maybe, everyone thinks badly about me.

Maybe no one wants me around, maybe I’m not doing so good, maybe I’m not making the right decisions

at all. These intrusive thoughts root from a lack of trust, it’s not a great feeling, though it goes to show

how overlooked this simple word is, for many just think of trust to be another positive quality, it’s

stronger than people think.

    “Whether demonstrated by situations of hunting, foraging, child rearing or migrating, humans

with culture, in pursuit of shared goals, had much to gain through cooperation.” (Scientific American).


    Going deeper, I find it fascinating how humanity’s evolved. There are certain species of animals

that are loners, they simply don’t work together at all. I wonder, if humans never cooperated millions of

years ago, would we even exist? It took hand-in-hand work to create civilization. It took trust, individual

people learning to rely on each other, beginning to take a chance on someone else. I question why we

trust, why don’t we trust?


    We trust because we can’t survive by ourselves, as much as we want to sometimes. Especially in

such a structured world, we have to put our trust in parents, guardians, all the ones who raised us that they

can teach us to strive. We have to trust teammates to assist us in whatever has to be accomplished. We

have to trust friends to be there for us, or help us whenever we’re in need. And outside of just needing it

to survive, there’s this special feeling and security that comes with just sharing trust with someone. It’s

beautiful that two separate souls can link feelings like a touch, that if one falls, the other will catch them.

It’s like letting another hold your heart, your safety, and a part of yourself.


    “Betrayal is the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person.

The most common forms of betrayal are harmful disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty,

infidelity, dishonesty. They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress.” (PubMed)


    Why would one deny trust, why do I? As a person who lacks it, there’s actually many reasons that

can vary. What if someone does turn on me? I don’t want to deal with the torment of someone I cared

about, inflicting pain in return. Is it really worth the risk? Sometimes, being emotionally isolated sounds

better than the chance of suffering. But when this comes into mind, I become defensive, I don’t share

anything about myself, tell anyone what I’m going through, I don’t let anyone know who I am and it truly

feels empty. Like there isn’t anyone there for me. In the end, I have no one. All because I don’t have trust.

This is not just me, it could be anyone, lost in isolation, a true sense of loneliness.


    As my life obviously isn’t over, I will eventually learn to regain trust in others. Trust is

fundamental, it’s always been a necessity, from millions of years ago until now. Trust is having faith in

someone or something, without it, it’s nearly impossible to survive. Trust is a warm feeling, a bond so

strong it’s painful when destroyed. Trust is an overlooked word, when it’s a critical key to life. Which is

why it’s what I want to learn to have, and why everyone should feel a sense of trust.


https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/trust

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/humans-brain-power-origins/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20035927/#:~:text=The%20effects%20of%20betrayal%

20include,D%20and%20PTSD%20in%20particular.

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