Dear Mom,
We haven't talked
in a few months and you won’t answer or return my calls… so I guess this is a
letter to check for a heartbeat you could say.. sorry bad joke, not funny. If
you were here you’d probably laugh though and then tell me it's not funny while
still laughing, just like I am. I miss laughing at jokes with you that no one
else thought was funny, but it's just me laughing now. Do you feel the same? Or
all my bad days that you filled with kit kats and sour patch kids from 7/11
while watching some dumb reality TV shows just to make fun of them. Or all the
times you dragged me out of bed early Saturday mornings to go on a long drive
with you going nowhere because you wanted to get away... even those I miss. I
mean I know we didn’t have that much time together, but we made the best of it
right? Those weekends throughout my life where you made time to come pick me up
were all I looked forward to throughout my long weeks because when I was with
you I felt like I belonged, and I was finally with someone who really
understood me and loved all the same things I loved.
I was always kind
of scared to ask you for stuff growing up I guess because I just wanted to
enjoy all the small happy moments with you, but you still took care of me even
through the broken-down studio apartments to the 3 story houses by the beach.
The moral you instilled in me, no matter what amount you have there is always
enough to share with family because family comes first, I believed in that, I
believed in you… So where are you now? I asked if there was any way you could
help me pay to buy my truck and if not, it was okay because I could just get a
job, but for some reason that question scared you. You told me you weren’t sure
and hung up the phone. Since then you just ghosted. Mom I'm not mad about the
money I don’t even care about the money, I just want my mom back. I got a job
and I bought it and everything's fine, it’s okay. I miss being able to call you
after a hard day at school. I miss the confidence you gave me when I had none,
reminding me that I can do this. I don’t care what anyone says, high school is
so hard without a mom. I wish you could see that I still need a mom because I
don’t have everything figured out and things are pretty confusing for me right
now, but I try to think of what you would say. Just please call me, okay? Maybe
you can give me your new address of where you live now, and I'll drive my
truck, so you can see it? Just know that I'm not mad and I don't care what
anyone says your still my mom and I love you more than I can put into words,
and nothing can change that. I know it might be hard for you to deal with
situations, so you just separate yourself to avoid it, so I'm not mad because
that's not something I can fix and only you can, but I'll still love you in the
process of it. I hope in the future things can be back to the way they were and
we can go on long drives together and go sit by the beach you used to take me
when I was little, because those are things that matter and will always matter
to me more than anything is just having you apart of my life watching me grow
so I can make you proud.
All my love,
Lexuss <3
Lexuss, this had me in tears. This is so heartfelt and just wow. Thank you for this. I am speechless. I just want to say that this piece makes me reminisce all my memories about my mom and how I too don't have everything figured and how I still need my mom and just reading this brought me actual tears because through your experience it's hard not having your mom and just how family comes first and to cherish these precious moments. Thank you for opening up to us.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was extremely heartfelt. The way that you describe your past memories with your mom and the way that you describe how much you want to see her is very admirable.
ReplyDelete-Alanah Arteaga
wow, this story is so freaking relatable to me, my mom has her own problems but i still love and care for her always and forever but i wish she could understand how i feel too. That i miss her so much just like you! thank you! for reminding me of all the good times me and my mom had when i younger and lived with her! Money was limited but her love so unconditional!
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing. There really no words to describe how I feel after this. Great Work this is one of the best i have read.
ReplyDeleteLexuss, this personal narrative was beyond heartfelt and bittersweet. I can only imagine what it would be like growing up without a mom to hold and guide me but always remember to always keep your faith. One day it will all make sense. The fact that you are so strong makes you very admirable and the fact that you opened up and made yourself vulnerable for this piece is beyond respectable. I loved this heartfelt message as it made me appreciate my mom more than ever.
ReplyDelete-Savannah Diaz
Reading this really checked my privilege and how much I have to be thankful for. This is clearly a hard topic to speak about and I honor your confidence and bravery to open up about this. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteSarah Skibby
Per. 2
What a heartwarming story. It really made me remember all the fond memories I have with my mom. Great job.
ReplyDeleteAkunna Chilaka
I felt the emotion personally in this written narrative. You can feel the actual writing talk to you with every comma and period in the passage. Truly the emotion and feeling are conveyed strongly in this piece.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely feel the pain you had writing this and having to deal with this situation. I'm sorry you have to go through that and I hope you reconcile with your mom. I could never imagine losing connection with a parent. -Kenneth Chen
ReplyDeleteThis narrative made me realize how much time we have with our loved ones and how it is important to cherish the time we have with one another because we never know when it will the last time we see each other.
ReplyDeleteWow this was beautiful. I can tell this story came from your heart. It really touched me and made me realize how much I have to be grateful for. It really put my problems into perspective and opened my eyes to some of the blessings I have. I really appreciate your story.
ReplyDeleteLexuss,
ReplyDeleteThis was a very moving and heartfelt piece. I am so sorry that you had to endure that pain with losing a parent. I know if I ever lost contact with my mom, I would go mad so I can only imagine how you feel. I hope that you and your mother can reconcile in the future because I can tell that you have a lot of love for her and I have no doubt that she has the same amount of love for you, if not, even more. Great piece and well done.
Lynelle Elhajjmoussa
This is so beautiful Lexuss. I really appreciate how you arent afraiad to put your heart out on a public platform like this. It was very well written and definatly made me emotional while reading it. Really good job.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a very good intimate relationship with my mother and now i feel awful. I'm siting here with my mom held at arms length and you've lost your mom you were oh so close with. I'm so so so sorry for your lost. I'm going to go talk to my mom now...
ReplyDelete-Jordan S
Lexuss,
ReplyDeleteYour piece absolutely blew me away. I was really impressed with your ability recount your deep, intimate relationship with your mother in a powerful, well composed manner without delving into meandering sentimentality. Your story captivated me because of the depth and simple beauty of your words. Phenomenal job!
Lexuss, this is one of the most heartfelt things I've read and its very evident that you care about you're mother and because of that I hope you get the chance to talk again. the memories you wrote about are very endearing and you put so much emotion into this piece that even the reader can feel it.
ReplyDeleteI’d really like to commend you for writing this. Personal narratives can be so hard because you have to be so open about things and I really hope that this writing helped you in any way possible. It was beautiful.
ReplyDelete-Ricky Gomez p.5
This piece really tugged on my heartstrings. Amazing writing!
ReplyDelete