Freedom from Fear --Lauren

Society frequently tells us to "face our fears” since confrontation is the only way to gain freedom from fear.  In most situations, those who do face their fears are able to overcome them.  However, what if you have a fear of dying?  Do you conquer it by dying?  No!  I used to be afraid of death, but I no longer am.  Here's how I was freed of that fear.
            It's January 7th, 2018, a calm Sunday morning I've spent biking on the Pacific Electric trail, making fruit smoothies, and devouring avocado toast.  I am elated and it seems as though nothing can ruin my happiness or kill my motivation.  It being a new year, I'm ready to return to school tomorrow and start second semester off in a strong sprint to the finish line that is graduation.  

I decide I’ll stop by a friend’s house, then go back home to organize my room and get ahead on several assignments for the next semester.  With this plan in mind, I grab my keys and get in the car.  I quickly run through my mental checklist of “Seatbelt?  Check.  Doors locked?  Check.  Phone put away?  Check.  Emergency brake off?  Check.  Nobody behind my car or approaching?  Check.” then backed out of the driveway.

It's about 12:30 p.m. and there is the usual daytime traffic out.  As I go to cross the intersection at Victoria Park Lane and Baseline, I see a car pull out from my right, making a left turn in front of me and think, “What the hell is this person doing?  It’s green for me!”  Immediately, I slam on the brake with as much force as I can exert, but I know we're still going to collide.

Time elapses in milliseconds.  My glasses are sent flying off my face.  I smell hot metal and feel the airbags deploy, leaving me winded, and then all goes white.  For what feels like minutes, but in reality is only a few seconds, I see and feel this soothing presence of light, like God is telling me, "You have nothing to be concerned about.  You'll be alright." I feel like I'm not in my body, as though only my soul is present.  I am stripped of all worry and am denied of my physical senses.  

Then I snap back to the accident, joined by all of my senses, which now fire in simultaneous pandemonium.  The sound of the impact resonates in my head, producing a high-pitched sound that blocks my ears off from all others.  The ringing eventually fades out to silence, but is replaced by the cursing of the other driver.  I look around and find myself clenched to my seat in a car whose face is compacted like that of a pug.  I no longer feel at bliss.  In that moment, my old fear of claustrophobia comes back to me.  Despite their fumbling, my shaky hands press the button to release myself from the seat belt’s embrace, then I get out of the car and go into the back seat to give myself more space and, quite literally, room to breathe.  I reach to the glove box, grab my phone, and get out of the car.  Looking around from the center of the intersection, I see every car stopped in shock, some people calling 911, I assume.  Subconsciously, I make my way to the sidewalk on the corner of the intersection.  I call my parents with the curt opener, “I’ve been in a car accident,” then burst into tears.  They say they’re on their way and will be at the intersection soon.  As soon as I end the call, a woman named Harmony asks me if I’m okay and if I’d like to pray.  I sob uncontrollably, nodding yes, and mutter, “I’d love to.”  I find solace in prayer and am reminded of the white light.  Hands joined with Harmony, I know God sent an angel to watch over me.  As we end our prayers in “Amen,” the sirens of an ambulance, a fire truck, and a police car become audible.  Shortly after, my parents arrive, I make my statements to the police, and am examined by a paramedic.  I have no severe injuries, aside from some bruising and soreness in my knees, chest, neck, and back from the impact and a very minor concussion.  The other driver is also okay.
            After the accident, I realized death no longer scares me.  I came close to its hand and yet, I wasn’t afraid.  Instead, I was calm and at peace.  I felt that whether I lived or died, I would be fine because I trusted in God.  This experience taught me to always wear a seat belt, made me more faithful and grateful for life, and granted me freedom from fear, or at least the fear of dying.