My New Guardian Angel--Geraldine

In these past two weeks, I have faced the hardest thing so far in my life. Even though I knew it was coming eventually, I definitely didn’t think it would happen this month. Although I can’t deny that I have learned so much through the events that have occurred, I wish I could still say that I had my mom. My mom lived with a genetic disease called sickle cell anemia. It basically destroys the immune system and since there is no cure, she just learned to live with it. The point is, hospital trips weren’t out of the norm for my family. So on Easter Sunday, when my mom went into the hospital, I knew she was bad, but I figured that just like every other time, the doctors would keep her for two to three weeks and then she’d be back at home with us. I guess God had a different plan. This time, she had gone into septic shock from the infection. Her organs began to shut down and I found myself saying my goodbyes to her. We spent exactly one week in the hospital. I had slept there every night and would go home during the days. Although I appreciated all the people that visited my mom during that week, it sometimes made it harder. It was just another reminder that this was my new sudden reality. One that my mom would most likely not be a part of anymore. Even though all the visits made it seem more real, they were still extremely comforting and it was God’s way of showing me the incredible way he used my mom while she was on this earth. I now realize this work of His was something that had been in the making since the day she was born. A few years ago when my mom’s hospital trips started becoming longer and more serious, I started to question God and the reason He chose my mom and my family to endure the struggles we were given. I didn't think it was fair and like any fourteen or fifteen year old I got angry. After some time passed, I learned to accept the fact that I didn’t understand God’s plan but it was up to me to trust Him and know that all things work out the way they do for a reason. Now I know. I understand why my mom was sick and as much as it hurts that this happened, I am now in awe of the type of impact my mom had on the people she encountered in her life. See my mom was a pretty tough cookie and that’s an understatement. She chose not to let her sickness determine how she lived her life. In order to do this, she learned to be a really good fighter. I’ve said this before to a lot of people and I’ll continue to say it: one of the most important things my mom taught me was to be strong. The strength that she had was inspiring and moving. I wish I could explain better how much she put herself through just so she could be there for my sister, my dad, and me. She was such a great mom and never failed to make me feel loved. That’s the other important lesson she taught me: to love others by caring for them and showing them kindness. The week my mom was in the hospital, at least a hundred different people had been in to see her. Childhood friends, church friends, family friends, coworkers, and just plain family showed up with an incredible amount of support and love. This is because my mom was someone who could make you feel important and cared for. She had one of the biggest hearts and anywhere she went, she left a positive influence. Through word of mouth and the type of social media we have today, people learned about the hardship we were facing. Fifty different churches prayed for my mom throughout seven states. Random people who we didn’t even know and didn’t even live in this country would send my dad facebook messages containing their prayers and positive thoughts. God had brought together so many people through my mom. I had finally understood the power He had, but most importantly, the plan that He had. Most people who don’t believe in God would probably point out the obvious: “Well if God is so powerful and great, why didn’t he heal my mom?” Losing her is without a doubt the saddest thing I have had to deal with. Sometimes it hurts so much I can’t breathe. There’s a weight on my chest that I know will be there for a while. But to these people I would ask: Did you ever consider that because we are selfish people, we tend to think that the outcome that is best in our favor is the most appropriate outcome? Having my mom back would be great for me but then the other amazing stuff wouldn’t be there. The miracles shown through the people who visited wouldn’t have happened. Even more, my mom would still be suffering in pain. My mom dying wasn’t God punishing me or a testament to His inabilities, but the opposite. It was His way of fulfilling her purpose in life. God gives us different paths and some have ones that are harder than others. What this experience has taught me though is that he will never give us a path we can’t handle. He will give us the strength, the courage, and the will to keep on going as long as we have faith in Him. My mom had faith in Him and she was given the strength to live the life she did so she could leave the impact that she had on an unbelievable amount of people. So to those who are going through tough times, know that you are not alone and although it is hard to see why these obstacles are there, have faith there is good reason. It’s true that life isn’t fair and the cards we are dealt with are out of our control. What we do have control of is how we play the cards that we’re dealt. If you’ve read this far, thanks for reading my story, I know it was kind of long. To my new Guardian Angel, I want to say that I love you and will never forget the lessons you taught me and the inspiration you gave me.