My life is coming to an end. I hurt people, they hurt me; I want to die.
(*breathing heavily*) finally I got away from them. I just stay here until they leave and I'll run out
the back. They have been picking on me, watching me, following me ever since I made the
biggest mistake of my life. Like why do I have to be punished for the mistake that I made for so
long. Does it amuse them? Is this what my karma is? Just, why?
(Few days later)
I can't do this anymore. This world is better without me and I deserve to die for what I did. This
is world is beautiful especially the view from here. The sky is clear, the skyline over the
distances is breathtaking; but, me I -I ruin this beauty. My life takes the beauty from this world
no one as messed up as me should be here. How I treated my friends, my family, others it's
unforgivable . I just have to do it. So here we go. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,4
(From the distance)
“Stop. Please. Do not jump,” they tell me.
“Why, why not?” not turning around to see who was talking.
“Because your life is worth more than you know, your valued, loved-- Just please don't jump, let
me talk to you.”
“That's not true you don't know me. y- you know NOTHING ABOUT ME. About who I AM. I didi-
disgusting and horrible and not worth anything.-”
“But you are. I love you and cherish you. You have the strength to stay in this world. You want
to be in this world and be accepted and forgiven and not judged, I know. Well you are by me
and eventually others will too.”
I was crying so hard I couldn't see. I felt someone help me down from where I was and hug me.
A comfort I haven't felt in a while but when I opened my eyes no one was there. I look around
confused but I still felt the comfort and the love I had felt while I was crying. I didn't want to kill
myself anymore but, I couldn't figure out why I didn't. Eventually, I started to leave the roof to
head home when from the distance I heard someone say, “I love you”.
On my way home I cried and screamed. Once I got in my room it was worse I felt like a lumpy
wet noodle I had been crying so hard and was so emotional. But from that day forward I never
tried to kill myself again, never saw the person but could feel them watching me, and whenever I
was at my worse the same comfort and love would come over me. I would get through my
days, barely, but enough to allow me to live. Things did get better.
Too many people are oblivious to their influence and scope; I thought this was a great piece; you did an amazing telling of the common (a bit dramatized from the reality) suicidal fiction
ReplyDeleteThis piece did a great job of invoking the readers emotions. You did a great job of tackling the issue of suicide and showing how someone can rise from what ever is ailing them and choose not to commit suicide. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteThis is so relevant right now, and I wish it wasn't but it is. In a small snapshot you were able to capture so many different emotions. And also conveyed a very important message at the end, that needs to be heard more often than not.
ReplyDeleteI loved how you really involved emotions with this piece, and how suicide is really something serious, great job!
ReplyDelete-Lyndsey Ortega
This was awesome because you didn't ever say who the person was, you leave it to the reader to decide for themselves, and I appreciate that. I also admire how the theme of this message is that no matter how rough and difficult your life can get, there is always a reason to bounce back. --Megan T.
ReplyDeleteI liked all the emotions, you were able to evoke with the diction and the syntax you used. I like the idea of how there is a guardian angel over her or how someone is watching her so she will not feel lonely or lost because it's nice to know that someone is watching over you so you won't make a mistake that you might regret.
ReplyDelete-Matthew Jimenez
This piece was absolutely moving, it was quite mysterious as well because you left the person that you were talking about nameless. A lot of people can learn from reading this that you would never know what someone is going through.
ReplyDeleteI thought his pierce was really moving and you should the truth about how teenagers really feel when society turns their backs on us, it's sad to say that many of us cannot handle it and look to suicide as our only option. In my opinion I believe that the person that you did not name who helped the main character in this piece was god, silently watching over us all the time and coming to us when we are at our lowest to bring up back up and remind us that life is still worth living. Beautiful piece
ReplyDeleteThis was a really touching piece, I like all the raw emotion! good job! -karina l
ReplyDeleteThis piece invoked so many emotions. You really opened everyone's eyes at the unfortunate reality we live in right now. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteYour message in this piece was powerful. Things will always get better.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very heartwarming piece. I feel that people should be more on the look out for people like this and just give them the love that they need and deserve. Great job!!
ReplyDeleteThere is so much emotion in this piece which made me want to continue to read it. It was really moving, and I am glad that you brought this topic up in your piece. -Lauren J.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing a very heart-felt piece. It really hurt me to hear about how people feel when it comes down to those around them trying to turn from them, thinking that someone thinks that that choice is the right and only choice. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteYour piece really touched me on a personal level, it reminded me of how everyone's life is valuable despite what we view of ourselves. Great Job.
ReplyDeleteThis as such a beautiful piece. I believe everybody's lives are valuable. There's no such thing as "This world is better without me and I deserve to die." We all came in this world for a purpose.
ReplyDelete-Marlene Gonzalez
I feel like everyone needs to read this so they can understand just how powerful our words are and how much they affect others. People really dont see their full potential in life, but when given the opportunity, others around them should help lift them up and show them just how much theyre capable of. I enjoyed the imagery of this piece i could really picture the scenes unraveling in my head. This was really well thought out and well written, good job
ReplyDeleteI like how you really showed how serious of a topic this is and how it can be prevented by knowing one's worth. Good job Kaz :) Life does get better.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very heart dropping essay. The suspense with the tower made it feel real. I really loved your writing, it gives everyone a sense of hope.
ReplyDeleteSince the very beginning of your story, I was really hoping for someone to come along and save "you". We all need a little saving sometimes, whether it's from help of someone else or ourselves. This piece reminds me that even in our darkest of times, there is always a little good out there to way out the bad. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so emotion drawing and I think that really helps the reader relate and empathize with your topic! Beautifully written, loved it
ReplyDeleteThis is a powerful piece and I feel like many more people to read this so they can understand the meaning behind this. I enjoyed this because the literary devices used in this like imagery. It really played put well in this piece. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI've had a similar experience like this, not trying to kill myself but as far having someone talk to me and then they just disappear. I TRULY BELIEVE those are angels being sent down to talk to us, warn us, and protect us
ReplyDeleteThis piece was so strong, so emotional, the fact that it's something so real like something that people actually go through. I applaud your work
ReplyDeleteThis piece addresses how others really can have a huge affect on you in such a small way. We hear it all the time that even a smile or small compliment can change someones day, but we never really do it. I love how this piece shows that it can not only change their day but change their life, great job!
ReplyDeleteI really value the emotion you put into this piece. I love how you highlight the feelings that many people go through.
ReplyDeleteYour piece shows that words and other people do make a difference. This is such a serious topic and you wrote about it well. Good Job.
ReplyDeleteThis story can help people understand how others might just need someone there for them and know that they are loved. Comfort and love can go a long way and you did a great job of explaining that. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing piece, i had chills while reading it. I really like the ending and am glad to see that this person has learned how important they are in the world.
ReplyDeleteThis was so touching and full of detailed emotion. i loved the strong message you incorporated the everybody has value and purpose in life. -Brianna Garcia
ReplyDeleteThe raw emotion in the piece was amazing! Well done!
ReplyDelete-Blanca Landeros
This piece opened a true perspective of these emotions some individuals feel, bringing awareness to these experiences - somijah
ReplyDeleteyou did a really good job at portraying how serious the issue, and putting the intensity in it. The love that stopped the person from jumping felt so powerful, great job!
ReplyDelete-Brie D.
This is such a great message since it feels like everything is coming to an end, at least for me. It gives hope for new beginnings and continuation. The different emotions described really moved me.Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great piece. The message of the piece was very important and I'm glad you spoke on it. Many people go through feeling like they aren't good enough everyday and this story really focused on the idea that everybody is enough and everybody is loved by somebody. Very good job!
ReplyDeleteThis was an amazing piece. I was sitting here reading it almost in tears thinking wow one person can change someone's life and can really help someone. I loved how that one persons words stuck with the person and help them through everything even when they weren't there. Good job
ReplyDeleteI love how short yet strong this message was conveyed, The mystery of the unknown person who changed the person's life makes me think of those future people who we will meet and the better future to come. I really felt the dramatic change in this piece. I love this story! Great job Kazmyr!!
ReplyDeleteThis story has a really positive message that a lot people need to hear. Some people feel that their life is worthless and that nobody loves them, but that just isn't true. They just need to hang in there, and they'll see that, because the world is a big place with many opportunities. Your story has a great message, and has great emotional impact even though it's a short story. Thank you for sharing this great piece!
ReplyDelete-Christopher Kerwin
The first sentence of the piece is definitely catching and horrifying. The dialogues inserted to the passages adds on creating clash of two mind sets. The intensity throughout the passage and harmonizing ending makes the piece even more interesting, good job.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this is relatable to a lot of people's life's, when your unsure of your purpose. The diction also allows me to feel the emotion trying to be potrayed
ReplyDelete-sereenah soare
I really liked how you addressed suicide because it is such an underdiscussed(not sure if that's a word) topic but is the second leading cause of death in our age group. You greatly portray reality and people's ignorance to the influence they have on others. -J'Noie Parker
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great piece! It highlighted how people hold grudges and that could cause others to be too hard on themselves because others cannot let go of something that happened in the past which is preventing you from moving on. This is powerful piece and I like how no matter how deep or dark a situation may appear, things get better and we tend to find that strength and keep going. Great piece!
ReplyDelete-Gabbie B.
The intensity of your piece really captured my attention and reiterated the importance of genuinely kind human interaction. Many people don't realize that a simple smile or greeting could really make someone's day better or even save a life. Thank you for writing about such an important topic because no matter how strong or happy someone may appear to be, it's all about how they feel internally and just know that you could possibly change that whether it be negatively or positively.
ReplyDeleteA nice, reassuring message for everyone to see and realize, good job on helping others see their own worth. -Francis Talla
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful piece with a message that many of us need to hear sometimes, that everyone is loved by someone. Thank you for writing this, it was very powerful and interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteI could truly feel the emotion in this piece, and amazing use of diction and imagery! great job!
ReplyDelete