Patricia--How to

It is almost February. The month of love and hearts. When I signed up for blog submissions I was a bitter single teenager who wanted to write a “How to: Survive Valentine’s Day Single.” I wanted to talk about how we’re all independent people who don’t need no man or woman in our lives. Well, a lot has changed since then and I’m scared that if I keep that topic I will jinx myself and my boyfriend will break up with me. *knocks on wood* I will still focus on the idea of independence though. My friend recently posted a series on youtube called “Cuffing Season” and it teaches you how to get a girlfriend. He gives step by step instructions from learning how to style yourself to texting the girl. This, however, will be mostly for the girls and will not teach you how to get a boyfriend. It is a How To: Lower Your Expectations. Not in life, always aim for the best, but maybe in relationships. As much as we all want to be princesses, these boys can’t offer or even afford everything. I had a male friend, who has been in a relationship with a sophomore in college for two years now, help me with this. So here are some rules… Rule #1: Shoot your shot. It is 2016 and girls are still waiting for the guy to text them first. Like everyone says, chivalry is dead. Just deal with it. We keep waiting for the other person when we can start the conversation ourselves. Who cares if you double text, go chase after what you want. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that you are desperate. Warning: don’t seem too desperate though. Rule #2 : Be selfless. I’m sure they love hearing all about you but be careful not to seem too conceited and only talk about yourself. Ask them about their day or their interests for a start. There are times that we get carried away and forget that other people have lives too. This is not just about talking but spending time as well. People are busy, we have homeworks, sports, church, and other things. Your significant other cannot spend all day with you every single day. This is important to form an understanding between the two. Rule #3: Alternation. Men are labeled as the head of the household. In the old days they worked while the wife stayed at home and took care of the children. It is very rare to see that in this economy, both parents work. Alternate on who pays for dates. We cannot expect guys to pay for everything. This helps with budgeting and “prevents conflict regarding the fairness of your relationship when it comes to money.” - My friend, George. I think of it as a “You drive, I pay situation.” My boyfriend can do both but I don’t want him too. For example, at homecoming, my date paid for the dance tickets and I offered and paid for dinner. Seemed fair to me. Tool(s) needed: money. Rule #4 : Don’t be so materialistic. “Appreciate him or her for their personality rather than the things they give you.” - George. I see girls online tweeting “relationship goals” on pictures of other girls receiving Louis Vuitton purses from their boyfriends. What high school student in this district has that kind of money? There is probably some but still. Isn’t dating about the company and not the gifts? This is necessary so you don’t seem like an ungrateful gold digger. Receiving gifts are great but whining about receiving them is just terrible. Tool(s) needed: a heart. Guys love to spoil girls and girls love to be spoiled. I believe that it should work vice versa as well. It is so uncommon in this era. There are so many expectations that aren’t clearly talked about in relationships which lead to misunderstanding. Be independent. Don’t expect so much from one person. You never know what could happen, you might break up.