Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Bobby--Dropping in
the lineup is coming fast, the northwest flow makes the water so glassy. Never in my life
have I ever seen something so beautiful. Crashing like automobiles i hear the set coming. getting
drenched in bubbles makes me realize that i'm home. Beating like a drum my heart pushes
adrenaline through my veins, knowing soon it would be my turn. It takes a couple minutes for
me to catch my breath and get ready to take one in. looking at my left i see the monster forming.
Snapping around and paddling as hard as I can. Left Right Left Right Left Right, then finally I
feel it beneath my fiberglass board. Carrying me along like the jolly green giant I pop up to my
feet and drop in n the monstrous set wave. The feeling of dropping in is like no other… so free…
so careless… then just as you feel you're about to fly, you get to the bottom and need to turn.
Whether the waves are 15 feet or just 1.5 surfing will always be my happy place. no matter what
mood i'm in, the waves will always lift me up. Although with life… just as I feel that i'm so lifted
up…I get to the bottom and need to turn out, Then eventually falling down. But when I fall I just
don't stay in the water, i get right back on my fiberglass vessel and wait my turn for another
moment of happiness. Until today. when I found the wave that would never get to the bottom. a
continuous wave that brings me constant feeling of falling but never getting hurt. This wave is
one that I could ride for the rest of my life. all surfers will find this wave, you just need to wait
on the swells and hope for the best.
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You used such great imagery in your story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI love stories and scenarios of one finding peace in nature. It's always great to just enjoy the beauty of nature and just try to relax /live with it.
ReplyDeleteYou developed the setting so well and the imagery really mad me feel like I was there, and could actually hear the waves crashing and feel the bubbles bubbling. Very well written!
ReplyDeleteI loved the imagery in the story, I could practically hear the ocean and feel the anticipation. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis was so perfect for a California English blog. You could really feel the journey the surfer had undergone to find this perfect wave. Oh and your name is really cool.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how detailed you were and I've never been surfing before so this definitely made me want to try it some day, good job.
ReplyDelete-Celeste Martinez
This is so beautiful and I inspirstional. Using the waves was such a brilliant analogy. I love the flow of the piece, almost like you are there. You can feel all the emotion involved in the speaker's message. Well done!!
ReplyDeleteWow! I love this piece, it's so beautiful. Good Job!
ReplyDelete-Sirikanya Boonyanant
It felt like i was in the story, great details!
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing. The diction and imagery you used was really good.
ReplyDeleteNice job on your imagery! -Naeomi
ReplyDeleteloved and felt your passion through your use of imagery
ReplyDeleteI love all the imagery you used to describe something you love doing. This is very well written, awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how this piece shows your love for surfing, but also has the deeper meaning of it symbolizing your relationship with your girlfriend. However, i suggest elaborating and dropping more hints next time about the true symbol of this piece, because if you never told me it was about your girlfriend in class the other day, i would have never picked up on it. (but that's just me, because i'm horrible at connotations). GREAT JOB THOUGH BOBBY! (:
ReplyDeleteI saw great usage of imagery and a simile. That was inspirational story, very interesting. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThe use of imagery in your piece is great. Its very vibrant and relaxing in a way. You have shown me a world that not many people would be able to experience.
ReplyDeleteEntertaining personal narrative. I truly enjoyed the imagery and the emotions associated with the scenario. Wonderful piece!
ReplyDelete-Jerelle Medina
Good Job! My favorite part is the "jolly green giant". I like how you describe the water as green instead of the generic blue. Oh yeah and quick question, what is your board made out of? -Luke
ReplyDeleteLove how you described the ocean and you could really grasp the appreciation you have for surfing and the feelings it brings forth. Great piece.
ReplyDeleteThis was a cool story I enjoyed all the imagery and it made everything seem more real. Nice job :)
ReplyDelete-Kathlyn Juarez
Great use of imagery. You place the reader right into the setting.
ReplyDeleteYour imagery was honestly the best part of this piece. I loved how you were able to capture the readers attention and also leave the reader so engaged in, because not many authors have that affect. Great job!
ReplyDelete-Nahome Woldearegay
I love how you used the setting and imagery to really paint a picture of how you feel surfing. Good job.
ReplyDelete-Sean Monsalve
I love the message that it gives to the reader, to never give up, and to hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure but I felt like this was an extended metaphor, even if it wasn't excellent job! The fact that imbedded in such short lines, there's so much imagery ,sensory words, and details shows that this was important to you and through writing this you effectively conveyed this to the reader. Again, Great Job!
ReplyDeleteDUDE, that imagery was so refreshing. I love opening, "the northwest flow makes the water so glassy"; it brings a very smooth picture to mind. Your relation from riding the ocean's waves to your own life was a stroke of genius. Love the blissful appreciation of the waves of our lives!
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