The Unclear Night
I had to drive very slowly keeping
in mind that I was on a cliff. There were three exits, the way I came down
from, and the other two unknown. We were going to take the first exit that was
the closest but I knew that it would lead to absolute death.
I received a text message, which
said “We should go up to the mountains tonight to glaze at the city lights and
catch up. We haven’t hung out together so hopefully you do not have any other plans.”
I had not heard from this person for quite some time and we had not hung out as
friends as we used to. The first thing that came to my mind was ‘hmm that
sounds like it would be fun since I have nothing to do on a Friday night.’ So,
I got dressed, told my mom I would be hanging out with my friend. She advised
me to go somewhere else, where we would be safe. Nevertheless, as a teenager I
did not pay attention to her and told her “Mom will be fine, everyone from
school goes to this place, I will be back before you know it.” I left with the
thought of my mom telling me it was not a good idea to go by ourselves.
While driving to our destination, I
tried to blur out all the negative thoughts of coming with her to the mountain
and just tried to be excited about this outing with her. Therefore, I tried
making a conversation with her to forget the painful stomachaches and
nervousness within me.
Upon our arrival to the top of the mountain,
there was only one way to get to the road and I was not able to see if any cars
were coming down. My pulse throughout my body began to increase in seconds and
I knew that what I got myself into was not going to be a good outcome. The
entire drive uphill to find an area to park my car was the most agonizing
experience. Meanwhile my friend was sitting calmly not caring about how I was
feeling about this trip.
We got to the top of the mountain, parked
my car and about 20 feet away from us were cars with men inside smoking and
drinking. I immediately told my friend that we should move to another area
having in mind that these men could kidnap us or confront us at any moment.
Thus, we had to drive back down and we turned into an opening that would lead
us to another parking area. As I was driving down the steep slope, the bottom of
my car was screeching loudly. The only thing that crossed my mind was “My
parents are going to kill me, what am I doing?” I did not know whether to keep
going down the steep slope or back out. So I stayed there on the slope for a
couple of seconds. My friend, who had never been to that location before, kept
telling me “All cars make that noise, don’t worry, we’re fine.” I continued
driving downhill, even though my car screeched horribly, and then parked.
“What a relief,” I said to my
friend. However, I knew this sigh of relief was not going to last. We sat there
in the car, she talked abundantly about her other friends and issues that she
had at home. While I sat there, looking out at the entire city and watching the
sunset fall, I was reflecting on how I got there and how I was going to get
out. At that moment, I received a call. I felt relieved after hearing my moms
voice on the other end.
At this point, it was obscure; I
could not see anything surrounding my car. The platform we were on was
extremely small and there was not an official exit. Therefore, I stepped out of
my car before driving off and it was not an exit, it just led down the cliff. We
decided to take the second exit, which looked more accommodating than the other
did. We did not even make it half way down the slope when my car got stuck. It
was on a scale moving back and forth not letting me drive in either direction.
I panicked and began to cry. Thinking that my parents were going to be furious
with me, and I would not make it out of this frightening place. The worst part was that my friend just sat in
the car on her phone not even worried that we were in this situation. She told
me not to call my parents and to figure it out on our own, which was ridiculously
bizarre. It turned out that her parents did not know she was there.
In conclusion, I have learned that
I should think twice about my actions before I put myself in a situation like
that again. I will never forget this experience because it has taught me to not
please others just for having a good relationship with a friend and being
driven to extremities just for them. But most of all to always listen to my
parents advise.
This is a pretty extreme example of why one should listen to their parents.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really great job at building up suspense which made this story fun to read!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! That seems horrible. Well, I'm glad nothing worse than that happened because you're one of the sweetest people ever. This piece was very well written. I think everyone has gone through something crazy to learn the same lesson. Too bad we can't always remember it aha!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good life lesson. this piece was very descriptive and good use of imagery. Overall, good job.
ReplyDelete-Jerico M. G. Franco
This piece is so true!! you described every word perfectly and yes think for your self know what's wrong and right and ALWAYS listen to your parents!!! very well written great job! ~Isabella Torres
ReplyDeleteI wish that the story would have continued, it feels unfinished. However i do love the story line.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, I didn't even realize it was a personal narrative until I read that on the labels. I enjoy that this ends with a good moral.
ReplyDeleteThis was so interesting to read and I like how you put a life lesson in the end. It had me hooked in the first few sentences. Good Job :)
ReplyDeleteI have been in similar situations and it's true parents know what they are talking about. I love your since of word choice that you used to describe the conditions that you were in. Also I love how you turned something so rocky into a positive learning lesson . Great Job Girl !!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I like the medias res, that was pretty nifty. Secondly, I really liked the story that portrayed a typical teenage decision. Brings me way back to my younger years. Lastly, I liked the message that I should be wise and listen to my parents. It made me chuckle to hear that. Kinda reminds me about my younger years.
ReplyDeleteGordon Marbun
Aww, Julissa! What a terffyimg expreince! I am glad that you got a very important lesson from this! I love the way you described every moment and how terrified you were.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you foreshadowed what was going to happen. I think if you didn't listen to your parents you should have at least listened to your gut.
ReplyDelete