Pages


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Julissa--The Unclear Night



The Unclear Night

I had to drive very slowly keeping in mind that I was on a cliff. There were three exits, the way I came down from, and the other two unknown. We were going to take the first exit that was the closest but I knew that it would lead to absolute death.
I received a text message, which said “We should go up to the mountains tonight to glaze at the city lights and catch up. We haven’t hung out together so hopefully you do not have any other plans.” I had not heard from this person for quite some time and we had not hung out as friends as we used to. The first thing that came to my mind was ‘hmm that sounds like it would be fun since I have nothing to do on a Friday night.’ So, I got dressed, told my mom I would be hanging out with my friend. She advised me to go somewhere else, where we would be safe. Nevertheless, as a teenager I did not pay attention to her and told her “Mom will be fine, everyone from school goes to this place, I will be back before you know it.” I left with the thought of my mom telling me it was not a good idea to go by ourselves.
While driving to our destination, I tried to blur out all the negative thoughts of coming with her to the mountain and just tried to be excited about this outing with her. Therefore, I tried making a conversation with her to forget the painful stomachaches and nervousness within me.
Upon our arrival to the top of the mountain, there was only one way to get to the road and I was not able to see if any cars were coming down. My pulse throughout my body began to increase in seconds and I knew that what I got myself into was not going to be a good outcome. The entire drive uphill to find an area to park my car was the most agonizing experience. Meanwhile my friend was sitting calmly not caring about how I was feeling about this trip.
We got to the top of the mountain, parked my car and about 20 feet away from us were cars with men inside smoking and drinking. I immediately told my friend that we should move to another area having in mind that these men could kidnap us or confront us at any moment. Thus, we had to drive back down and we turned into an opening that would lead us to another parking area. As I was driving down the steep slope, the bottom of my car was screeching loudly. The only thing that crossed my mind was “My parents are going to kill me, what am I doing?” I did not know whether to keep going down the steep slope or back out. So I stayed there on the slope for a couple of seconds. My friend, who had never been to that location before, kept telling me “All cars make that noise, don’t worry, we’re fine.” I continued driving downhill, even though my car screeched horribly, and then parked.
“What a relief,” I said to my friend. However, I knew this sigh of relief was not going to last. We sat there in the car, she talked abundantly about her other friends and issues that she had at home. While I sat there, looking out at the entire city and watching the sunset fall, I was reflecting on how I got there and how I was going to get out. At that moment, I received a call. I felt relieved after hearing my moms voice on the other end.
At this point, it was obscure; I could not see anything surrounding my car. The platform we were on was extremely small and there was not an official exit. Therefore, I stepped out of my car before driving off and it was not an exit, it just led down the cliff. We decided to take the second exit, which looked more accommodating than the other did. We did not even make it half way down the slope when my car got stuck. It was on a scale moving back and forth not letting me drive in either direction. I panicked and began to cry. Thinking that my parents were going to be furious with me, and I would not make it out of this frightening place.  The worst part was that my friend just sat in the car on her phone not even worried that we were in this situation. She told me not to call my parents and to figure it out on our own, which was ridiculously bizarre. It turned out that her parents did not know she was there.
In conclusion, I have learned that I should think twice about my actions before I put myself in a situation like that again. I will never forget this experience because it has taught me to not please others just for having a good relationship with a friend and being driven to extremities just for them. But most of all to always listen to my parents advise.

12 comments:

  1. This is a pretty extreme example of why one should listen to their parents.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You did a really great job at building up suspense which made this story fun to read!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my goodness! That seems horrible. Well, I'm glad nothing worse than that happened because you're one of the sweetest people ever. This piece was very well written. I think everyone has gone through something crazy to learn the same lesson. Too bad we can't always remember it aha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is a very good life lesson. this piece was very descriptive and good use of imagery. Overall, good job.

    -Jerico M. G. Franco

    ReplyDelete
  5. This piece is so true!! you described every word perfectly and yes think for your self know what's wrong and right and ALWAYS listen to your parents!!! very well written great job! ~Isabella Torres

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish that the story would have continued, it feels unfinished. However i do love the story line.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great story, I didn't even realize it was a personal narrative until I read that on the labels. I enjoy that this ends with a good moral.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was so interesting to read and I like how you put a life lesson in the end. It had me hooked in the first few sentences. Good Job :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have been in similar situations and it's true parents know what they are talking about. I love your since of word choice that you used to describe the conditions that you were in. Also I love how you turned something so rocky into a positive learning lesson . Great Job Girl !!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. First off, I like the medias res, that was pretty nifty. Secondly, I really liked the story that portrayed a typical teenage decision. Brings me way back to my younger years. Lastly, I liked the message that I should be wise and listen to my parents. It made me chuckle to hear that. Kinda reminds me about my younger years.
    Gordon Marbun

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aww, Julissa! What a terffyimg expreince! I am glad that you got a very important lesson from this! I love the way you described every moment and how terrified you were.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I liked that you foreshadowed what was going to happen. I think if you didn't listen to your parents you should have at least listened to your gut.

    ReplyDelete