Forgiveness--Landon

 

Forgiveness is a necessary step in reaching the future we desire. As Archbishop Desmond

Tutu said, “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.”

Forgiveness can take many forms, but most crucial are self-forgiveness and forgiving those who

have hurt us. To move on from past traumas, we must learn to forgive. When we do not forgive,

we tend to remain trapped in the past, hindering our progress and preventing us from freeing

ourselves from the mental toll of hatred and anger on our health.

In 2013, my sister and I were crossing the street on our way home from school. This was

an unusual occurrence for us, and that day I convinced my sister that walking home would be our

best course of action. While crossing the street, a truck made a left turn into us, tragically killing

my sister. That day had a lasting effect on my mental health. Even though it was not my fault, I

found myself falling into depression, feeling that I had some role in her death. I didn’t know how

to forgive myself for persuading my sister to walk home with me and for putting my family

through such a horrendous situation. I constantly replayed that day in my mind, trying to

understand what I could have done differently to prevent my sister's death. School became

incredibly challenging as I lost all motivation; my grades quickly slipped, and I lacked the

strength to keep up with friends. I was constantly living in the past. As stated in the article “The

Dangers of Unforgiveness” by The Master’s University, “Unforgiveness will imprison you in

your past. As long as you fail to forgive an offender, you are shackled to the past. Unforgiveness

keeps that pain alive, never allowing the wound to heal, and you go through life reminding

yourself of what was done to you, stirring up that pain and making yourself progressively

angrier. You accumulate bad feelings throughout life.” With significant support from my

teachers, family, and church leaders, I slowly learned how to forgive myself, move on, and

ultimately improve my mental health.

After learning to forgive myself, I had to attempt to forgive the person driving the truck

that killed my sister. This process took much longer due to the lack of communication with him,

as the police kept his identity a secret. A couple of years after my sister's death, we learned that

the man had committed suicide due to the guilt he felt. This caused great grief for me, as I was

unaware of the guilt and struggles he was facing. Due to the limited communication, we were

misinformed about his situation and focused on our grief instead of understanding his potential

feelings. If we had been in better contact with him, perhaps we could have expressed our

forgiveness, helping him understand that we didn’t blame him for what happened. Maybe by

conveying our forgiveness, we could have assisted him in forgiving himself and eventually

moving on from the tragedy. To me, forgiveness means more than just letting go of feelings of

hatred. It means moving forward in life, prioritizing mental health, and letting go of the past to

grow as a person.